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Site Check: Airblaster

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Airblaster. Did you know that name was designed to describe the feeling of floating through powder, launching a method, and ripping a fart, all at once? Now you do. Sound like a good time.

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Airblaster is running a “commitment to retailers” program, following the exclusive-colorways-for-select-shops path. It’s a fine idea; wearing one of these jackets is an easy way to signal to those in the know that you keep it local, and the pieces they’ve chosen to release through this program are some of the more popular and versatile items in Airblaster’s lineup. But my favorite part is the “Stores with Doors” name, because it appears as an option on their shop locator. Now you and I understand that only shows you shops taking part in this program, but out of context it makes it sound like the other stores don’t have doors. Like you’ll need to climb in a window, or maybe they have a shop guy with a multi-tool guarding an opening in the wall when they’re not open.

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Airblaster’s one-piece commitment runs deep; everyone knows about Ninja Suits at this point but I want to talk about outerwear for a second. There isn’t a lot of call of onesies (outside of the Northwest), but they really are unbeatable for warmth, simplicity, and keeping snow out. So the fact that Airblaster has not one but two offerings, in men’s and women’s, is pretty rad. And this one, the $400 Sassy Beast (or Beast Suit for men) is really hard to figure out. Some brands are asking $600 for a comparable jacket, and this is effectively a jacket and pant and $200 in your pocket. I’d like to be stoked out on Airblaster doing this, but more than anything I’m just pissed off that the price-hiking technique seems to be the more popular route for most businesses to take.

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Huzzah! I’ll admit I don’t really dig the stand-alone hood trend that’s going on right now; not that I have anything against it I just don’t get the hype. But this one in particular seems designed specifically to make you look like a Renaissance Faire escapee.

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This right here is what really pushes the Airblaster site over the top for me. I kind of forgot that they made this mini-game, and when I found it while researching this article I wasted far too much time reminding myself how bad I am at video games. But putting an 80’s arcade classic up just because you can is going to do good things for Airblaster’s score. If anyone wants to go toe-to-toe, my personal high score so far is 16650. You’ll probably win.

Looking at the totals, this one is pretty obvious. Awesome product, shop support, fart jokes, this site has everything. I still don’t get the whole just-a-hood thing, but I hate vests too, so maybe I just have some unresolved issues with deconstructed clothing. Even if I were taking points off for that, Airblasteroids would do more than offset that hit. So Airblaster’s 93 moves it right to the top of the leader board.

Check the site for yourself- http://www.myairblaster.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Burton 50
11. Technine 45

Toeside Terrors: Contest Moms and Cougars

The Toeside Terrors' exciting lives continue. Most recently, they scored a super sick ice lair with a dinosaur skeleton.

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"We need to go to the U.S. Open and get ourselves on camera. Plus, I heard Hansu Weith will be there. This could be our chance to finally end that miserable-sell-out son of a bitch's life." said Tech.

AND SO IT WAS...

When they arrived at the U.S. open in sunny Vail, Colorado, they found one thing: Big-boobed contest moms. "Was this heaven?" They asked themselves. In no time, the Toeside Terrors got to work on hitting on contest cougars.

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Deeply emerged in motor boating boobies, the TT's failed to realize that Hansu Weith was taking his run. This would have been the perfect time to end Hansu because he is defenseless while he does his boot grabs.

The sex-hounds talked their way back to the cougars expensive snow chateaus. By the time they got inside, they were too drunk and horny to remember their intentions of stopping Hansu.

BUT THEN!

Just as things started heating up, Terry saw Hansu Weith in the window.

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The cougar dropped her top and began shooting lazer beams from her breasts. Death rays whizzed by Terry's bird-like face.

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With his signature "MCRAWWW," Terry crotch-thrusted the robot's head into oblivion.

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The other TT's made it out ok too. After all, they are super heroes. Mr. Anonymous figured it out when he saw Hansu's gum wrappers on the floor. Tech was quoted in saying "I could smell that robot skank from a mile away."

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The Weekend Warrior successfully tamed the robot with booze. They are now dating.

The Toeside Terrors in A Christmas Carol

Guest Illustrations by Paul CvikevichTTXMAS1-01

LISTEN A Toeside Terrors Christmas Carol

After a summer of product testing for Yobeat, the Toeside Terrors had lost touch with their love for snowboarding. Feeling defeated and jaded on the idea that strapping your feet onto a piece of wood was worth their time, they entered into a devastating depression.

On Christmas Eve, the Toeside Terrors reached an ultimate low. They had decided to quit snowboarding.

Just then, the time space continuum ripped open, and a mystic being stepped through the tear in space.

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WOOSH

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The Toeside Terrors stepped through the rip in the time space continuum and entered a frigid hill with slow double chairs -- This is Suicide Six in Vermont, the first place to allow snowboarding.

"Observe a time when snowboarders were united. A boarder would seek out another boarder if they saw them, just to take a run together. It was truly a harmonious time...Let's move on."

WOOSH

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"Welcome to Snowboard present. We are at the Energy drink open, where Snowboarding is still pretty cool. People are moderately stoked on each other, but with each day the environment gets warmer, people care less for one an other, and the great divide between boarders grows thicker. Every day a core brand liquidates, and a bigger brand sells one of its conglomerates to Pac-Sun.

WOOSH

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And now, behold Snowboarding's Future. Complete chaos has ensued after "boarding brought bankruptcy." That's right, a mass of poorly designed Hansu Weith T-shirts pushed the entire world over the fiscal cliff. With all the snow melted, and a massive sewage back-up, every volcano erupts. Snowboarding is but a whisper in the memory of a laughing Hansu Weith.

But alas, it was all a dream. The Toeside Terrors woke up to a tree full of Yobeat gear, all of which can be purchased here. That day they boarded like they never boarded before, and remembered again why snowboarding was radical, and why it was up to everyone to save it.

 

Toeside Terrors Test: The 2013 K2 Happy Hour

As if it wouldn’t be the tweak-master Terry Dactyl that would test out the K2 happy hour.

Pros:
Poppy and sturdy. This board feels like it could ride through anything. That pointy nose is bound to come in handy when floating through powder. This board is definitely meant to hold its own on a variety of terrain. It is not a noodle.

Cons:
The nose and tail were pretty stiff, yet on larger landings I thought the board did a weaker job of absorbing shock than other snowboards I have ridden.

Toeside Terrors Test: 2013 CAPiTA Defenders of Awesome

The graphics on this shit are bad-ass, and with a name like “Defenders of Awesome” it was a no-brainer that one of our favorite snowboard super heroes, Terry Dactyl, had to put it to the test.

The real deal

Pros: Super poppy and responsive. I am a huge skeptic of all new hybrid cambers but for a “flat board” the tail was really strong and consistent. The edge held up great, and I did not find myself reverting as often as I would on a reverse camber board.

Cons: This board was a little stiff, I didn’t find it to be too much of a problem but I imagine it to be quite a leg-wrecker in the powder. Also, I found myself being distracted by the babe graphics… then again you could just use her hotness to help you progress, like she’s watching always, and judging.

MSRP: $379
Sizes: 152, 154, 156, 158, 160
BUY IT


Who the fuck is Terry Dactyl? Watch this and learn.