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US States as European Countries – An Arbitrary Cultural Analysis

The world is a vast, yet tiny place and although the climates, cultures and skin tones vary greatly from place to place, there are an awful lot of similarities between Americaland and Euroland. It’s almost like we descended from the same primate or something… But because making broad generalizations about places, some of which we’ve never actually been to, is almost as fun as loading up a boat and crossing the Ocean – we present the following list of US States and their European counterparts. To save ourselves a little bit of brain power though, we’ve mostly focused on the states/countries that have actual snowboarding, unless we came up with a really clever comparison.

West Coast

Oregon = Czech Republic

It used to be cool and low key. Now Prague/Portland is played out and getting overdeveloped, but hey at least there’s legal weed!

Washington = Holland/The Netherlands

Tulips mostly. Also Seattle is pretty much our Amsterdam these days. If Washington could just get a snow dome or two, then we’d really be onto something, but I guess we’ll have to settle for Mt. Baker.

Cali livin’, brah.

California =  France, Spain and Portugal

California is just too big to be one European country, but the culture, food, wine and coast line of Northern California is the Mediterranean. The beaches and chill vibes of Portugal are San Diego County, Spain covers the rest of So Cal, with Barcelona being the Spanish version of LA. That leaves France to cover Napa Valley and the Bay Area – which means Paris is definitely San Francisco.

Alaska =  Iceland

Just like Alaska used to be Russia, Iceland used to be Denmark. Lots of people go there, but very few people are actually from there, and as a result the locals have to be very careful to make sure they don’t hit on their own cousins. Also, polar bears.

Hawaii = Monaco

Tropical paradises, essentially. And while the Helgason’s are summering in Monaco, Shaun White surfs in Oahu.

The West

If you’re still mad at Colorado, blame Vail Resorts!

Colorado =  Switzerland

Giant mountains, central location, freedom and shit. But you couldn’t afford to live there.

Montana = Russia

Two insanely beautiful places with some super sick mountains, where people like to drink (and drive) and give very few fucks – but are just a wee bit behind the times.

Nevada = Turkey*

Legit snowboarding in Tahoe that we can parallel to the expansive mountains of Turkey, and Vegas is definitely Istanbul.

We missed posting this one last year, so watch it now! 

Utah = Germany

Ski nazis = actual nazis. This one may feel harsh to Americans, because Mormons are generally super nice people and Utah is home to the best snowboarding in the world, but history is the real asshole in this case.

Idaho = Finland

A cold place no one needs to visit unless they like to play in the snow, with a city that’s almost really cool but just never will be because… it’ll always be in Idaho. That said, both have solid snowboard scenes and have turned out some serious talent over the years.

The Flat States

An artsy flick about how to make the most of life in a barren wasteland.

North Dakota = Mongolia*

A vast wasteland with lots of unusable snow. That is, unless you’ve got a snowmobile and/or a winch.

South Dakota = Romania

They’re both a lot more interesting than you’d think.

The Midwest

The Midwest’s finest snowboarding export, 1817

Minnesota = Norway

Quintessentially perfect places with lots of fair-skinned blond people. Perfect, if only it didn’t get so. Damn. Cold.

Wisconsin = Sweden

Stockholm/Milwaukee are cool. The rest of the land is a bunch of farms. But for snowboarding – Trollhaugen is the tits and Sweden pumps out enough serious rippers that it must have rope tows, too.

Michigan = Bosnia

Detroit and war-torn Sarajevo seem close enough to make this call. But if you actually go to either of these places, we think you’d be pleasantly surprised.

Ohio = Luxembourg

In the middle and easy to forget about, but full of cultural staples if you give em a chance.

New England

Southern Vermont’s heaviest up and comers.

Vermont = Austria 

A perfect combo of East Coast Work ethic/German precision and chill hippie/Swiss vibes.

Maine = Denmark

A little different in size but almost the same shape! Maine might also just be Canada. Your call.

New Hampshire = Croatia.

Beautiful places with tons of lakes and waterfalls, held together with that blue collar/Eastern European edge.

We’ll use any excuse to post a Yawgoons video, really. 

Rhode Island = Slovenia

Amazing places that no one knows or cares about (well, if it weren’t for the Yawgoons, that is.)

Massachusetts = Ireland

Two damp, green places with similar drinking problems.

Connecticut = Lithuania

Both have existed forever, yet to most outsiders they’re just a place to get on and off of the ferry.

Mid Atlantic

If you don’t know about ICKS already, well, where the hell ya been, buddy?

New York = The United Kingdom

London is NYC, the England is the burbs, and we’ll toss Wales and Scotland in to serve as “upstate.”

Pennsylvania = Belgium.

Decent light beer and two totally different cultures in one.

New Jersey = Italy

The armpit of America meets the most stereotypically macho culture we can come up with in Europe.

Washington DC = The Vatican

Two places with their own sets of rules.

The South

Who are the good crews in Flagstaff these days? Are there any? Bueller….?

Arizona = Bulgaria

Native people, natural beauty and a snowboard scene that’s core af.

New Mexico = Estonia

Super underrated with tons of culture and native shit.

Texas = Mexico

Because there is no Texas in Europe, and there never will be.

A summation of  living the dream in the Florida…from our old pals at Alliance.

Florida = Greece

Horrible governing, and more importantly all the old people wear similar outfits.

Georgia = Georgia

Cause, duh.

 

West Virginia = Poland

Beautiful place, nice people, but well-known for not being the sharpest tacks in the box.

Missouri = Ukraine

The two worst places to live on each continent. Though we should probably apologize to the Ukraine for this one.

And with that, we turn this debate over to you… Feel free to chime in if we missed your state or you totally think we’re wrong.

*Actually in Asia. Whatever.

 

Yawgoons 19

You already know to watch it. The Yawgoons go to Euroland but fear not, they filmed in RI too. Featuring Dylan Gamache, Marcus Rand, Brian Skorupski, Scott Stevens, Dan Liedahl, Mike Ravelson, Cole Navin, Friedl Kolar

Legends of the Volt

The Rusty Toothbrush crew travels around Europe hitting street spots and parks from France to Italy and more. Featuring: Alex Stewart, Jack Errichiello, Tyler Chorlton, Victor Loron, Chazou Bongs, Luca Fiorini

Production: Brad Smith, Francesco Zoppei

Disparition

When the snow is so abundant and light that it makes us disappear…

DomeTrash | Stinky Business

Not sure about now, but earlier this season, Europe was plagued with the same low tide that the Eastern US and Canada suffered from. However, we don’t feel bad for them because they have places such as Skidome Terneuzen.

Riders:
Bob van Unnik
Jordi Spa
Cees Wille
Dion Janse
Henk de Bruijne
Kasper de Zoete

Viewed and Reviewed: Off the Cuff

By Joey Leppien

After watching previous Postland Theory full films (i.e. Momentum, Periscoping, Catscratch, and Connect The Dots.), I had high hopes. Off The Cuff did not disappoint.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 11.05.47 AM
Will Smith via @postlandtheory

Will Smith opens things up, and I was expecting a lot from him after seeing his part in Connect The Dots and all of the Dragon Alliance edits from the past year. Young Will most certainly one-upped himself from previous parts, sending ridiculous gaps and transfers and even more technical, yet smooth tricks. Followed abruptly by a quick minute of toe-curling slams, with Kas Lemmens targeting his inner Ryan Tarbell and smashing into a couple cars.

Bob Van Unnik has a fast-paced part full of heavy kink rails, huge gaps and even some gnarly backcountry shots. Jevon Lohners part is stocked full of creative lines that could fit in with a Think Thank edit, shared with Ceese Wille and Ollie Dutton who both seem to love sending themselves off huge drops to flat landings. Ollie also eats shit on a front 2 and my head still hurts just from watching.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 11.14.59 AM

Benny Urban and Kas Lemmens go back-to-back (shoutout to Drake for the Grammy nomination) in a shared part and it seems like almost too much to cram into one segment. With a surprising lack of recycled clips from the 2032 movie and densely packed follow cams, this part was one of my favorites I’ve seen in a while. Kas’ first trick is borderline irresponsible and his slams on one downrail nearly make me angry at him and I don’t even know the dude. Also, his ender made my jaw drop out of sheer amazement and Benny had a scary nose press back one to stair landing.

Roel Van Oosterhout and Raffi Kossmann’s shared part starts out with a park lap that made me wanna get my lazy ass off my couch and drive up to Boreal. I didn’t, though, I kept watching the movie and boy am I glad I did. Roel and Raffi keep the fast paced edit cruising with some music that I can only describe as the kind of music that I’d most likely hear in a Reno strip club at 3am on a Monday while contemplating what the hell I’m doing with my life. The ender was absolutely beautiful and I may have shed a tear. The fact that this was Roel’s first time EVER in the streets and Raffi’s first time ever filming outside of Austria make it even all the more impressive.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 11.07.43 AM
Jesse Augustinus, dropping.

Jesse Augustinus’ part has some fresh takes on a couple of classic spots hit by the likes of Ethan Deiss and Jed Anderson. One of the only white dudes who can rock a bucket hat while snowboarding (Shoutout Freddy McCarthy) and thats a nice little surprise. On the topic of fashion; nice scarf, Will. Although I thought a couple of his other tricks could have been a more fitting ender trick, I was stoked that it was quickly followed up by some dad-camming, and his smooth yet aggressive style had my attention throughout the entirety of his part.

Eirik Neisse has a happy-go-lucky song, beautiful blonde hair, and shot of a cute dog. Already hyped. The lack of snow in a couple shots only adds to the burliness factor. He also has a ridiculous board-snap to scorp that made me wanna fly there and give him a hug and tell him it’s all gonna be okay. He also look like Stacy Peralta in some of his shots. I like it. One of Eirik’s tricks is something that I’ve never seen in a video before, let alone as his ender. It may be controversial amongst all of the viewers, but let me be the first to say that I absolutely back it 100%.

Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 11.10.06 AM
The Crew.

Overall, this movie kicked ass. My only complaint is that Will Smith is way too good for his age and all of these dudes probably get laid way more than me. I also wish it was a bit longer, but thats just because these dudes rip and I could happily watch plenty more. Stoked to see what all these guys can put together throughout this winter!

Highlights:
-Kas getting handed some cash after landing a board slide gap boardslide.
-Bob working some backcountry slashes into his part.
-Benny Urbans cab 2.
-Roel stomping like 5 bangers on the same rail.
-Jesse using trucks to his advantage.
-Eiriks ender.
-Jerons creative lines.
-Ceese’ huge ollie.
-Will’s bank ollie.
-Ollies transfer.

Postland Premiere Tour Mini Movie

Off the Cuff will hit the net later this week for F-R-E-E. But first, relive the memories of the premiere tour, which took the entire crew to such exotic locales as Holland, Annecy, Les Deux Alpes, Grenoble, Innsbruck, Stubai, Kaunertal and Back to Stubai and back to the indoors.

Featuring:
Christoph Schwarz, Will Smith, Jesse Augustinus, Ollie Dutton, Alex Tank, Simon Pircher, Benny Urban, Max Zebe, Cees Wille, Kevin Trammer, Bob Van Unnik, Raffi Kossman, Artem Smolin, Gido Gföllner, Denis Leontyev, Jessi Blackwell, Anthony Inthout, Ethan Morgan, Roel Van Oosterhout.

Film and Edit by Tim Schiphorst
Additional filming by:
Marco Morandi
Will Smith

YOUGOFIRST: Nothing Really Extreme FULL MOVIE

Yougofirst collective is proud to announce our 3rd snowboarding film. Past season we’ve tried to keep ourselves entertained by the pleasure of snowboarding. We met friends, gathered for several occasions and tried to film something for the love of memorizing the good times. It’s not hard to admit that things look a bit different now, years went by, people got interested in other aspects of life and snowboarding is far from priority for majority of the crew. It could be said that we finally entered the horrors and pleasures of the everyday grown up life. However, the shred remains. There’s a natural need for snowboarding inside every one of us that will never going to disappear. “Nothing really extreme“ is an ode to these feelings; to traveling, hanging out with friends, snowboarding and good times.

Cut: Matic Zavodnik
Artworks: Rina Barbarić
Filming: Philipp Ramppel & Vid Barić
Riding: Žiga Rakovec, Georg Obermeissner, Matic Zavodnik, Georg Ischepp, Vid Barić, Stefan Langgartner, Flo Potzl, Nejc Pucko, Peter Podlogar

DVP’s Broken Circuit Full Movie

If it seems like there’s a banger free video from Euroland coming out like every day, it’s because there is. What a wonderful time to be alive!

STARRING: Simon Gruber, Øivind Fykse, Jesse Augustinus, Jessi Blackwell, Nicolo’ Pezzato, Nicholas Bridgman, Kevin Kok, Max Vieider, Marco Donzelli and Friends

Europe – A Five Stan Review: Part 1

What I have learned so far on my trip to Europe is that nothing in life is free. While it’s true that Bataleon and Lobster Snowboards graciously booked my plane ticket to London, and Monster Energy is taking care of my hospitality while I travel with the movie tour, I am paying for this trip in irreparable liver damage. In fact, within 24 hours of being in London (the first stop), I lost my jacket, hat, passport, and half of a tooth. I really can’t complain though, as I retrieved the passport, and I can say with certainty that this has been the wildest outing of my life.

My official purpose on this trip is to MC the events for the two movies premiering at each stop. The first is the BYNDXMDLS movie featuring Kevin Backstrom, Tor Lundstrom, Brendan Gerard, which was edited by Ryan Scardigli (Diggles, duh). It’s short and sweet, as it’s comprised of highlights from the online episodes, as well as a couple new clips.  The second movie is MasterBayTable, Sexual Snowboarding’s newest creation, containing new and old members of the beloved Europeon snowboard crew. Parts from Ethan Morgan, Nils Arvidson, Eiki and Haldor make the movie entertaining and easy to get people hyped for (the official job of an MC, of course.)

The tour will take us to London, Stockholm, Tallinn, Warsaw, Berlin, Prague, Innsbruck, so I will break this journey into two post, and rate them on a 5 Stan Scale. (1 Stan being the worst, 5 Stans being the best)

london

London is fucking massive. Apparently 15 Paris-sized cities could fit within it. To me, this was perhaps the least memorable stop of the trip thus far, partly due to the fact that I had been to London before, but also the fact that I was legitimately blacked out half of the time I was there. Saying “what’s up London!” in a scenario that was remotely justified was definitely a fulfillment of some rockstar fantasy. Or should I say Monster fantasy. The afterparty donned several free bottles of liquor and a magician named Jerry who made things appear in Haldor’s shoe.

Highlight: Experiencing the UK Snow dome culture. The second day in the UK we drove a couple hours outside London to a place called Milton-Keynes. It’s an indoor snow dome within a mall. Inevitably, the scene inside blends  “mall kid” with “snowboarder” 0h so well.

 

stkhlm

Simply put, Stockholm is a beautiful city. It’s no wonder there are so many recognizable spots that have been hit by Jed Anderson, Nick Dirks, Gus Engle and countless others. Beyond that, everyone is dressed like they are in a Kanye West fashion show, and the girls are all tens. Though Kevin denies this, he is a celebrity in Stockholm, and was able to get us into the most Posh VIP  club in the city. Like a scene out of a  movie, we walked by a giant line of people waiting to get in and the bouncer threw his arm out in from of me, aiming to stop my under-dressed, bug-eyed ass from entering swank town, but Diggles spoke up that we were with Kevin. Once inside we hung out in the cathedral-looking club and eventually went to an even more VIP club WITHIN THE FIRST CLUB.

Highlight: Skating by myself around the city in the morning. This trip is pretty scheduled and the stops are tight and full of meetings with shops for signings, so the fact I got to escape and see the city for a few hours was something I appreciated immensely. The other highlight would of course be that I made it into the most exclusive club in Sweden wearing a sweatshirt and slip ons.

Tallink Ferry from Sweden to Estonia – 6 Stans

Rather than fly from Stockholm to Tallinn, a Monster tour bus picked us up in Stockholm at 3 pm the day after the premiere. This bus is absolutely insane: There’s a lounge area with couches, a kitchen, and a conference room in the back complete with a glass table, Big Screen TV, an X-Box. Perhaps most importantly the bus also contains Stu and Oliver, two absolutely hilarious British blokes who drive it all over Europe for various events.  We drove a couple minutes to the ferry and parked the bus inside a massive cruise ship. We then walked up five flights of stairs to enter into a casino-looking boat cabin and immediately got to drinking champagne. The ferry drive is 15-hours long and overnight, so the boat is equipped with several restaurants, stores, a dance club, and a full theater.  Skinny hallways resembling those from The Shining mazed around each floor and led you to various rooms each, blasting their own special brand of house music.

After a hearty meal and several bottles of wine, we made our way down to the theater and casino where we sat at table and watched  entertainment acts varying from American Pop music cover bands, to mesh-laden men doing sexually suggestive dance routines with fog billowing from behind them.

Highlight: Waking up at 8 am with a champagne hangover and walking to the store barefoot to get water. The tables have turned. Everyone stares in awe at ME about what they are seeing. To their credit, I look like a complete mad man at this point, and I have not taken my coon skin hat off for two straight days.

TALLINN

Like Stockholm, Tallinn is another beautiful Eastern European city with tight cobblestone roads and century-old buildings. The only reason it didn’t get the highest remarks was I showed up there feeling like such a pile after the ferry I couldn’t really explore it properly. After allowing a statue of a baby to pee in my mouth for a photo, the crew went to the local board shop, Surf House, where Haldor, Eiki, Kevin, Tor, Diggles and Johannes answered some interview questions from the owner of the shop. I liked this premiere stop a great deal as the after party felt like the most genuine interaction between the locals and traveling team. Other nights the crew would end up disbanded by the end of the night, but in Estonia we hung together and drank with the locals for a solid 4 or 5 hours and had a lot of hard laughs. To the people of Tallinn: YOU GUYS GO HARD, TAKE CARE OF THE BALLOON BELLIED MAN! (Sorry, you had to be there)

Highlight: We ate dinner at a place called Old Hansa, a traditional Estonian restaurant with no electricity and the people dressed in medieval garb. Our waiter asked the most handsome, powerful and agile guest to identify themself as the “table master,” so naturally I selected myself and was referred to as “Master Stan” by the waiter the whole night. I was given power over the night in important decisions such as, who gets to drink, when should we get more food, and most importantly, required to give a toast before drinking a very strong-tasting pepper Schnapps. I told everyone, including the Estonian media that had joined us for dinner, they all owed me their first born child.

Now we drive for two straight days in the Monster bus to Warsaw, Poland. Talk of Berlin being the gnarliest stop of the trip has me in fear of my life, for I can’t even imagine partying harder than we have already, but as we commonly say on the trip, “Let’s Send it, huh?”

 

 

Scuballoon at Fonna

While everyone’s bitching about the lack of snow in North America, the snowboard scene is popping sans gripes in Fogelfonna, Norway, Euroland.

iders:
Sondre Dørum
Markus Rustad
Markus Storsveen
Daniel Bø
Henning Andresen
Didrik Christensen

Edit: Markus Rustad

GBP’s Euro Soup Kitchen

The Gremlinz left the confines of Sababaland, parked the bus, and headed to Europe for three months this winter. Enjoy.

Featuring: Tyler,Dylan,The Kid, Maddog, Preston, Niko, Bass, Matt Sac, PaulWall ,Bass, Rory plus all the homies in Europe.

Connect The Dots – Toni Kerkelä

All the dots have finally been connected, and Toni Kerkelä closes out Postland Theory’s flick “Connect The Dots.”

Download the movie for free here: bit.ly/12FP0Nb

wE tRiPpY – Simon Pircher

Wait people actually ride Volkl snowboards?
I guess Simon Pircher might be one of the thirty people in the world who do. Check out his ender part from the Euro flick wE tRiPpY, hopefully using, “trippy” goes extinct much like, “swag” or, “hella”.

Connect The Dots – David Stuber

Euro David Stuber, keeps it skatey with some solid lines and clean tricks for his segment in Postland Theory’s Connect The Dots.

Download the full movie for free: bit.ly/12FP0Nb