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Strippers Learn Snowboard History with Billy Mackey

For breathing that thin air all the time, the crew at Snowboard Colorado is pumping out some amazing stuff over there in the Rockies. Between our favorite Gypsy Billy Mackey and ya know, strippers, this video as it all. And raises some interesting questions that sort of make us wonder which is a worse career choice: snowboarder or stripper?

Pro Dudes 2013 New Year’s Resolutions

NYE_ArticleThe year 2013, some said it would never happened, and they are stupid. Moving forward, changing the calendar and pretending to lose weight are now on the horizon. So what resolutions are being made in the snowboard world? The results will probably not surprise you. Some will try to improve while others will continue to fuck off, around and in anything they can. Here’s a smattering of answers from some of Yobeat’s favorite personalities.

Famed photographer and bike enthusiast Tim Zimmerman said, “My only resolution is to listen to way more Pink Floyd. Might as well take advantage of the new weed law in Washington, right?” making the Yobeat staff wonder what it’s like to be high in a helicopter.

Forum dude Cam Pierce said, “I didn’t really make one. But, if I had to pick right now it would probably be to stop worrying about  stupid little things.” Does he mean little things like 10-stair rails which Forum traditionally has no time for, or like the fact that his main sponsors just went out of business?

All around good-time-guy Niko Coffi said, “For GBP/Gremlinz to take ova’. I wanna be rich an’ laugh at all the other petty industry people an’ go to Bora Bora wit’ my baybegirl.” Check urban dictionary for a quick translation.

Recently engaged Nick Visconti said, “Keep Jesus IN Snowboarding.” Which is either more of his super I love Jeebus nonsense, or a witty remark regarding our once great “Keep God out of Snowboarding” shirts.

The filthy, yet lovable Billy Mackey said, “Get fat as shit, have a pet bear, move into the woods and never talk to anyone again.” and while we think that is rad, we don’t want to see him go just yet.

Intern of the Year and now Poler bad boy Alex Burton said, “Disconnect from friends that don’t matter, sell my shitty track bike, save money, get better at what I do, call grandma and get some teeth pulled.” Maybe Alex and Grandma can bond over false teeth?

DWD Pro Ben Bogart said, “I think I might save my New Year’s Resolution for 2014 and piss off for another year.” and we couldn’t be prouder of the guy.

Finally, Durell Williams said, “Hook up with as many white girls as humanly possible.” which is such an odd thing for a handsome black snowboarder to say, right?

Do you have a resolution worth mentioning, or is it simply, “Gosh I hope I lose this tire of human flesh from my gunt this year.” If so, post ’em below. The best one might get a free sticker pack, if we remember…

 

The Other Side of SIA

SIA used to be a special place. A place of death and destruction and amazing feats of debauchery. It was where legends were made, where rumors were created and where riders gained infamy. But, now it’s in Denver and that sucks, so I showed up late. By the time I showed up to SIA everyone had already enjoyed a long brodown on the tradeshow floor. Beers had been drunk. Party addresses had been passed around. The air reeked of possibility, potential and probably jail time. Sure, we were in Denver, but maybe this year would be different, maybe this year would be fun. Brooke Geery looked like she was down for a good time, and the largest gathering of Yobeat employees to date triggered a frenzy of energy inside my skull. So, I started shooting photos.

Ran into Yobeat’s best marketing dude to date. Way better than the last one that Snowboarder Mag stole from us. Just look at how easily he figures out how to get friends into parties.

Night one started at the crap hole Jonas Bros bar/loft/hookah lounge. There were more rooms, more balconies and more speakers than anyone could have asked for. Most of the bars were for VIP gold wrist band owners only. However, cute girls were everywhere and drinking with old friends helped create a pleasant, if not wild vibe.

Laura Austin couldn’t resist blowing off work. That’s what I call using a film camera. Because the process of taking it to the store, having the film developed, waiting, and eventually scanning the photos isn’t exactly aligned with the speed of the “gimme gimme” internet audience.

The bartenders must have been temp hires from the strip club down the road. Why else would, “Hey, we’ll take shots with you for free!” work?

You should see the out of focus stuff, or maybe not. Check out that leg tat…

Diamond Cabaret was the place. From 11 to 4AM that’s where you found anyone worth seeing. That included biker gangs, tons of wheelchair-riding-ass-slapping badasses and hundreds of snowboard folk. Kid wonder Danimals even got a shower there. The club was nice enough to let him borrow a swim suit. Gross, right?

The next morning we dove head first into the show. With hangovers, hunger and excitement pulsing through our veins and out our pores we hustled to make meetings, sneak beers and eat stupidly expensive stuff. I ran into Billy Mackey almost immediately. He had a really sweet new button and smelled like dead bums covered in the shit of other dead bums.

Finding the best booth is always a challenge. Is it where your friends are? Do you have friends? Is there beer? How about friends, beer and free tattoos? Yeah, Arnette killed it this year thanks to Robbie Sell, but I’ve gotta say, Capita was the place for happy hour fun.

I can be a really big asshole. Only an asshole walks into a trade show (where millions are coughing, sneezing and puking) and heads directly to the tattoo artist (while truly hungover) and says, “Oh, fuck, hmm, well how about a giant lightning bolt on the back of my arm.” Robbie told me it was safe though, so, well, it’s only forever…

Nike Snowboarding had a big beautiful booth. Isn’t that shocking? Anyway, they have a whole new line out and are spending trillions figuring out just how to revolutionize retro. Basically, Nike is so good at what they do, they can make you like shit they decided was too dumb to keep making 20 years ago. Honestly though, they have the most comfortable boots in the game. Prove me wrong, you can’t.

Out of all the Collabo projects this year my total favorite was Nike + Marlboro. Where can I get the sticker?

Back at the strip club I met a non-stripper who seemed to know me. If you’re reading this, I forget your name, but thanks for the memories. I’ve never heard anyone say, “Bring us two shots of your most expensive whiskey” so many times in one night. Yobeat could never afford $25 dollar shots, so I’m glad this beautiful stranger could.

Squish…

Shayboarder wrecked the strip club by night and her neck by day. Here is a shot of her brand new, Arnette booth-approved, Craig Kelly-inspired neck piece. Shay couldn’t have been more stoked that a guy’s trail is permanently on her neck. I hope badass Shay comes out more often. Maybe she’ll get Shaun White busting a move in or around her vagina next. Would that make her an honorary fire crotch?

Someone’s Mom passed out by an ashtray. SIA is for the young.

The new Capita stuff is great. Considering board graphics mean more to teenagers than grades, family or health these days, I don’t see why anyone would ride anything else. You just look cooler on a Capita.

Wanna’ prove you don’t care? That you’re just boarding because you love it? That powder is your mistress and tree runs are your bitch? Grab the new Mid-Life Zero. It looks like something Scotty Wittlake would have rode.

Almost got that tattoo. So glad I didn’t.

All of a sudden Ashbury announced the new Videograss teaser would be playing at 2PM. People freaked. A crowd gathered. Dinosaurs Will Die’s Sean Genovese and Dang Shade’s Jesse Burtner got their sad faces on knowing Think Thank didn’t draw this kind of crowd.

Lance Hakker was the only Ashbury owner to show up. Nima was in Vegas and Mike was somewhere playing with crayons. Anyway, Lance told everyone they would be showing three teasers: Keep the Change, that other VG movie and then Justin Meyer’s newest flick “The Darkside.” Keep the Change has my new favorite song in it and Nick Dirks is still getting drunk.

Chris Brewster got a Dinosaurs Will Die tattoo because he’s on their team now. Look at how focused they all are.

Robbie Sell wore this shirt during the day, then I saw it on Stephen Duke later that night. That’s all I know.

Attention girls, the jailbird look is in, and we love it.

Greg aka Rumorator got wicked all weekend. He taught us how to be married and not want to slit your wrists, how to smoke in cabs even when the cabbie is screaming at you, the secret to getting old and how to remain cool, calm and collected even when really gnarly, totally not OK stuff happens to you.

Nike threw a party. Here’s Austin Will being allowed the privilege of posing with his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss. This party was fun, except the smoke machines were on full tilt for hours and I’m pretty sure it gave everyone cancer.

Kendra from Ride was partying on another level and totally unaware that little boys were stealing her drinks all night.

Josh Parker’s tattoo partially showed up. He doesn’t own shirts with actual necks because 2004 told him not to. So if you see Parker, you get to see part of his tattoo and plenty of groomed chest hair too. It’s basically a double whammy we like to call, “The Tahoe Treat.”

See, here’s Stephen Duke that night, with the same shirt Robbie had on that day. My mind was blown, but that’s not important, what is is that Stephen Duke should be everyone’s favorite guy.

Chris Prosser, aka the guy that started Atmosphere, was there. He’s been living in some guido place in New York. Obviously he’s using his new Jersey Shore moves on this young lady.

Andrew Brewer, ladies and gentleman.

Johnny Lazz threw a party accidentally. A lot of people in this hotel did.

Oops, someone smoked in the elevator, hallway and hotel room causing an alarm that literally said, “ATTENTION, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS ON THEIR WAY. ATTENTION, THERE IS A FIRE.” Then some angry hotel employee started pounding on doors and some of us were evacuated. In the end we saw a bunch of firemen strap on gas tanks and rush into the building to battle the fierce terror that is wafting second hand smoke.

While it’s never funny to cost taxpayers lots and lots of money by wasting the fire department’s time, it is hilarious to find out the kid that caused the whole damn mess is already wearing an ankle monitoring device. We weren’t sure how he wasn’t thrown into the slammer, but everything seemed good and he told us not to worry about it.

By 7AM Sunday morning Denver seemed relatively quiet. Many had left, for ISPO or home, while others slept awaiting a busy day of packing booths or traveling the globe. Because I had no idea how to get to the airport, why I had to pay for it or why I would ever go back to Chicago I decided to just sit, kick back and catch up with Marie Hucal until it was finally time to tell Denver to fuck off once again.

COMUИE’s BLKHLZINVZFS Partial Movie

If you missed the premiere, well, you’re probably lucky. Some hackers apparently thought it would be a good day to take down YoBeat. Some of you braved the warnings, and we thank you, and apologize deeply if your PC got a virus (but seriously, why are you using a PC?) If you haven’t seen it, here are three of the seven edits of COMUNE’s Black Holes and Invisible Forces Bending Time Through Particle Deformation Creating Infinite Freedom in the Garden On The Moon. For the rest, head over to http://thecomune.com/blackholes/

Enjoy the show.

SHAPE OF CONTENT

Guest edit by Corey Smith and Liz Davis.

Music by:

Indian Jewelry “Look Alive”
Gypsy Death Star “Shakedown”
The Dammed “Jet Boy”
Death “Can you hear me knocking”
The Entrance Band “Grim Reaper Blues”

MENTHOL BEACH

Guest edit by Ryan Scardigli.

Music by:

Wavves “Cool Jumper”
The Muslims “Call it a Day”
Japanther “Surfin Coffin”
Witch “Eyes”
Eddy Current Suppression Ring “Sunday’s Coming”
Jacuzzi Boys “Island Adventure”

GUT SHOT

Guest edit by Matt Porter.

Music by The Coulour and various voice archives.

http://thecomune.com/blackholes/

As for our two favorite comments, gotta give it to Bad Moon who said

Dear Comune,

You beat the shit outta Volcom on Will Smith’s ‘Wierd Shit-o-Meter’. And the opening sequence with the floating triangles?? I don’t think you could make snowboarding even more “hipster” if you tried.. Oh wait, a sound track full of bands nobody ever has/will hear of?? Damn, you just did.

Still, this is the best movie I have seen this season, and I’ve seen almost all of them.

P.S. Make your mech a bit cheaper and easier to find, and I would def sport it. Haha

Even though he misspelled Merch. And number 2 goes to Dirtstag who so elloquently stated:

yobeat foshobeat. utopia for life fuck that pit shit. billy killing it so damn hard. couldnt have made a sicker video. smith has some god editing. gut shot easily my favorite. definately will be tripping on shrooms the next time i watch this. “some say hes dead, some say he never will be” this just made my whole day!! enough said

See, sucking up totally pays off. We’re only human. Enjoy your Limited Edition HD DVDs guys!

Portland to Portland Road Trip

Last summer, a few young blokes from Maine set off on a cross country voyage to everyone’s favorite summer shred epicenter. They promised us coverage of the journey, and one year later, they delivered! Stunts by Robin Stoddard, Billy Mackey and Justin Keniston. Videos by Thomas Haraden.

The way out:

Once they got there:

Looks like you’ll have to imagine the way back.

COMUNE Drops Another Teaser

Another day closer to COMUNE’S first full length release and to harden your boner just a bit more Diggles and the COMUNE factory have dropped yet another teaser. Enjoy some boarding, bails and babes kids!

Billy Mackey’s Mile High Hump Day

dsc_9671

I’ve never seen Shaun White ride clouds.     p. Ryan Taylor

It would be so easy to point out Billy Mackey is one dirty S.O.B. As it would be easy to mention he’s from Colorado, a youngster and a talented snowboarder, but everyone says that about Billy. What you don’t often hear is Colorado’s denim clad son is actually a nice young man, who loves his family, is crazy about snowboarding and could really give a rats ass about how often his pants are the subject of laughter. He’s not a wild man, nor a fake, he’s just a weird ass kid from the woods of Colorado, and possibly the most sarcastic and dirt covered talent Colorado has ever produced.

What’s up with you this year? Where’s your footage going?

Well the COMUNE video as many know will be different but fuckin’ rad, won’t be like every other double cork jock film, and then my homies video Back to the Boneyard will just be raw. I think it will be cool, it will show the way snowboarding should be, no rules just fun.

Do you think you’re going to make it as a pro snowboarder?

Shit man now why would I wanna think about that? If it happens it happens. The way snowboarding is goin’ who knows. I know how to do one double cork. That’s it, I’m not roidsy enough I guess, and I retired that trick for myself, shit’s beat.

What are your life goals?

Well, live long enough to see what real life is all about, have some fun. I mean shit, tits and beer is why were here right? So, just see how it goes.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

My dad he has more fun than anyone I know, well minus the cop part, but I’m too young too think about that. I still don’t know what I wanna eat for dinner.

dsc_9753That’s Bill’s favorite grab.      p. Ryan Taylor

What were you like as a kid?

Well I was a boss, no I played sports and shit when I was younger. Basically just like every other kid, but I played in the woods a lot, none of my friends lived close so I would just wander around our property.

I hear you once were into high top Nikes and Polo shirts, is that true? What made you give that up?

No polo shirts, but there was a time I had some Nikes, that didn’t last long. All it took was for me to look in the mirror and realize I wasn’t cool enough.

Does lung cancer scare you? How many cigs do you smoke a day?

No I don’t wanna live to grow old anyways so I figure I might start killing myself young, shit happens. No clue, but like yer’ “How to be a Hipster” article says, as many as I can whenever I can as long as someone is lookin’ at how chill I am.

billy-mackey-4Are those jeans or some sort of new cool snow pant?    p. Dave Brewer

How much of your body is covered in hair? Do you know anyone your age as hairy as you are?

Well I’d say a good 80%. I’m pretty hairy, and no I don’t, I know kids with facial hair but there chest ain’t as manly as mine. I bet Larry (LNP) was super hairy also, I mean shit, look at him now.

What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever put, found or taken out of your hair?

Well the one thing that comes to mind is a few years back Todd Richards had his Toddapalooza event at Breck. I was helpin’ him out and he made me let a kid smash an egg in my hair. I didn’t wash it out so I smelt like rotten eggs for a minute and I woke up with ants in my hair one day, that made me wash it out.

Longest you’ve ever gone without a shower?

Couple months, never pay attention. Last summer was bad though when I lived out of (Justin) Keniston’s car at Hood.

img_2202The hands are fake, we photoshopped them.

Why are your finger nails always so long?

Shit I need long nails to scratch my head through my hair. No, I don’t know, you can do way more shit with long nails, makes highschoolin’ a beer easier (thumb punch to shotgun).

How many rings do you wear? Do they ever annoy you?

Well right now 11. And, only when it’s hot and my fingers swell up it starts to hurt but most of ‘em can’t come off anyways. Been on for too long.

Have you ever hit anyone while wearing your rings?

Well serious punch like three different times maybe. All I know is it hurt my fingers so I bet it didn’t feel good.

dsc_9791Chick’s are jealous of Bill’s jewelry box and healthy flowing locks.       p. Ryan Taylor

Do you have a crush on Laura Hadar? Why or why not?

Me? No way that’s Momma Hades! Why not? ‘Cause when she is around she is like a mom. Takes care of me and shit, it’s awesome, best mom in snowboarding hands down.

Since we both wear stupidly tight pants, we both know about stinky balls, and since I’ve literally seen you covered in dirt, how do you get girls to go down on you?

Oh shit, well the way I feel about it is maybe they just wanna try somethin’ new?

How did you get onto O-Matic?

Well I started rep ridin’ for my buddy who used to work for ‘em and then I guess they ended up likin’ me. I’m hyped, they are all the shit.

Are you hyped to be teammates with Olympic/Dancing star Louie Vito?

Fuck yea, how many people can say they know someone from Dancing with the Stars? That’s way cooler than the Olympics any day.

billy-mackey-3Pop, hold the grab, hope to not rip arm off while landing on a pile of stones.      p. Dave Brewer

People say you’re really good at snowboarding, are you?

Well yea I’m the shit. No, I don’t know man. I just like it a lot. I know how to turn pretty well so I will say yes, I am good at carving on a snowboard.

How long do you generally keep the same outfit on?

‘Till it’s time to retire ‘em. So depends on what I do in them. Usually a good amount of time, long enough to make a white shirt turn a completely different color.

You are on COMUNE, why don’t you just get new clothes?

I do, it works out well. I wear ‘em ‘till I can’t anymore, then have some proper new clothes to put right on. I look way cooler anyways, when people come over they see clothes still with tags.

img_2192Dirtbag attending the first Colorado SIA.

How do you feel about Colorado?

A lot of people hate on it but I’m down. I mean I’m still here. We got some of the best skateparks. I live 10 min from for different mountains, well only two are fun. My whole family lives here still, so I’m down.

Who are your personal heroes?

My whole family, they are all the best people ever.

What are your parents like?

Well my dad’s a cop, well Police Chief to be exact, real laid back, just likes to have fun. My mom is the best. I just got a tattoo for her. She is a school bus driver now, she will help me out whenever I need. They support what I do, so it’s nice.

Your group of friends trashed the Boneyard Breckenridge house, how did they get such a nice house to begin with, and what is the wildest shit you’ve seen go down there?

Well they moved in and the kid who lived there his parents owned the place and were gonna remodel it this summer. Pretty much started by fuckin’ up little things every once in awhile to whatever was in sight. Well, axe through the TV, Keg thrown over the deck into a car, two cars back windows shattered, knives thrown, just a shit ton of different shit.

How did you do in school?

Well I left high school sophomore year with a 1.2 GPA, did online school and finally graduated a couple months ago!

How were those two years?

Shitty, I hated that place. Jocks thought I was gay, teachers didn’t like the work I did, kids were scared of me for some reason, I don’t know, that place sucked.

Would you ever want a normal job? The kind you actually have to go to?

I’m actually thinkin’ of tryin’ to find one for the summer. I have had jobs and it always sucks, life seems so boring. I just applied to be a pizza delivery driver though, that seems cool.

You went to Mt. Hood last summer, how was it?

Well last summer it sucked. I got kicked out of these girls house, so I slept in Justins car, didn’t snowboard once, just skated, piled out and slept in the car. I ate bagels, a lot, and talked campers into buyin’ me Cobra Dogs.

billy-mackey-1His legs are saying, “KAPOW!”         p. Dave Brewer

What do you care about most in life?

My family, friends and snowboarding. Other than that not much. I don’t care about to much, makes life easier.

Did you ever play any sports when you were younger? Which ones, for how long, and were you any good?

Alright so I played football. Fuckin’ killed it. Played that all through elementary. I was on dive team and swim team for a summer, good at wearin’ at speedo.

You spend a lot of time in Breckenridge, why?

Not sure really, I kinda like it even though there is kooks, but there are kooks everywhere.

Sponsors?

Omatic snowboards, COMUNE clothing, celsius boots, grenade gloves, elm company, bitch boards stomp pads and Community Skate and Snow.

Big Thanks to our photographer friends Ryan Taylor and Dave Brewer!

MUST SEE COMUNE TEASER THREE


OK, so some of you weren’t too into the first two COMUNE teasers. Well, they didn’t give a shit and made a third, and by god is this one a beauty. Slams, snowboarding, ooze and booze this third teaser should deliver a bit of happiness to all the nay-sayers. Oh, and I said this is “must see” because at 00:43 seconds in you’re going to shit yourself.

COMUNE TEASER 2—HOT CHICK

This will eventually become a snowboard video, in the mean time I have no qualms with watching half naked chicks smoke cigs.
FROM COMUNE, “COMUNE’s ‘Black Holes and Invisible Forces Bending Time Through Particle Deformation Creating Infinite Freedom in the Garden On The Moon’ is part of a ongoing, collaborative film that will highlight multiple video edits featuring COMUNE snow team, aggregates and associates. Contributing artists towards the project include: Corey Smith, Jason Lee Parry, Andrew Kuykendall, Ryan Scardigli, Hunter Longe, Kevin Castanheira and Shelby Menzel.

The film is part of COMUNE’s ongoing DROP CITY creative platform, which launched last month. Inspired by the early 1960’s artist commune in Colorado and the brainchild of COMUNE’s Art Director, Corey Smith, DROP CITY was introduced to attract like-minded contributors to the COMUNE artist community.

‘Black Holes and Invisible Forces Bending Time Through Particle Deformation Creating Infinite Freedom in the Garden On The Moon’ will premier the full-length release on October 23, 2010 at their headquarters in Costa Mesa.”

Finally! Bang Show Teaser 2!

Love this crew. Love this teaser. Don’t love the second pair of tits but the slams make up for it. BangShow dropping this Fall. Be sure to pick one up.