Posts

Best Week Ever: April 24, 2009

“Wait. Would it be weird to sit here and listen to a CD together?” -Olivia and I have a ongoing list of brilliant ideas in my phone which we add to as needed. This week’s addition reads “Saunas with weed, but NOT hot.” -We…

Best Week Ever: April 17, 2009

“I don’t mean Geometry. I mean in terms of actual sadness.” -Olivia is discussing either UPS or the USPS and is unclear which she is referring to until I ask her. I then sort of simply yet brilliantly suggest, “UPS and the…

Best Week Ever: April 10, 2009 (Guest Author Edition)

Sarah’s friends made her go to Vegas today. Since “planning ahead” isn’t in her job description, I am writing Best Week Ever this week. Sorry. -Sarah’s brother has taken to leaving random and not very nice comments on all…

Best Week Ever: April 3, 2009

“Make sure no one tries to touch Melissa and Sarah! They don’t have feelings!” -My phone is about to die while out and about in Austin. I opt to make a list of what at the time I deemed important phone numbers in case my phone…

Best Week Ever: March 27, 2009

“It’s always so much better when your week isn’t you sitting around smoking weed and watching Tyra.” -We go downtown to these fashion shows for some sort of LA fashion week. I get a press pass and am issued into a line with…

Best Week Ever: March 13, 2009

“See, I am living off the grid!” -Melissa begins telling an amazing story about a friend of mine who is sort of hilarious/slightly insane. Somewhere towards the end of said story Melissa asks Olivia if she has met said girl.…

Best Week Ever: March 6, 2009

“You are really good at kidding!” -We are watching the enthralling season premiere of Tyra’s other show, America’s Next Top Model. Tyra name drops Paulina Porizkova at some point and homegirl rolls onto the screen. Sally…

Best Week Ever: February 27, 2009

“Sorry I am not usually this nice. I just really like people when I am drunk.” -I cancel on a boy one night this week. He is annoyed. In retaliation, he informs me he is way too busy the rest of the week to possibly hang out.…

Best Week Ever: February 20, 2009

“Does he like TV?” -We are stopped at a light on Sunset in front of that giant oil change place called EZ Lube. Olivia points at the building and announces, “That was my nickname in high school.”  I begin to try to empathize…

Best Week Ever: February 13, 2009

“I really wish the Peach Pit was real.” -After the third or so commercial for some mattress company and it’s upcoming Presidents’ Day sale, I turn to Erika and remark, “It’s weird that Presidents and mattresses go hand…

Best Week Ever: February 6, 2009

“This is like Follow That Bird!” -The vehicle I drive is standard. It is having some mechanical issues and my father is convinced they are all my fault. He begins explaining how fast I should be going to shift into each gear.…

Best Week Ever: January 30, 2009

“Babies are probably cheaper.” -I am attempting to eat ice cream one evening, when I start shaking, pass out, and and hit my head of the kitchen floor. I wake up confused and disoriented. It gets worse the next day and even…

Best Week Ever: January 16, 2009

“If you were a fly people would be trying to kill you all day long.” -I find myself re-telling Lloyd that story about that crazy retarded roommate kid I lived with early summer who went through my belongings and emailed Olivia…

Best Week Ever: January 9, 2009

“Everyone is so much funnier when they are hung-over.” -After some reshuffling of the staff at Missbehave and some new job titles, I find myself a little confused. I decide to inquire what exactly everyone is doing these days. …

Best Week Ever: The Best of 2008

-Some girl writes me on Myspace insisting I have my own reality show. I acknowledge that it would be good television. I inform her that I have no idea how to acquire a reality show. I go, “What if I just show up in Times Square at…