There’s definitely something to be said for a nice quickie.
It’sÂ Mr. Hammid hoof banging some sort of titted-dog-deer thing.
Recently, Desiree Melancon won a Yobeat Award. Even more recently she won some other award. That means she’s due for a bunch of coverage. And, because we are super quick around here, we grabbed her attention and asked her questions that have nothing to do with snowboarding, but will probably give plenty of our younger readers boners. So, enjoy this look into Desiree’s life outside of snowboarding.
Yobeat: Which is cooler, a yobeat award or an award from anyone else?
Desiree: Both, I don’t wanna talk about awards.
How’s your blossoming art career going?
Good! July 5th is my first show! Bend, Oregon. At Velvet. Be ready for a night of porn.
Is it going to be any good?
Yes I think so. Everyone loves asses and titties.
Hard at work inside the artist’s studio.
What’s with all the porn? Are you pent up or just a nasty gal?
Both for sure. It’s not boring to me. So I can spend weeks on a piece and I continually get more excited about it.
What’s your favorite kind of porn?
Lesbian for sure.
Desiree should probably design the next Yobeat shirt. Don’t you guys agree?
It’s interesting. They don’t have a penis so they stick anything and everything in them selves and it’s hilarious. Plus chicks are hotter.
That’s a great way to end this. Bye Desiree.
Once upon a time Laura Austin was (at best) an occasional contributor for Yobeat.com. But, as a rising young darling of the media world she quickly got scooped up by the Snowboarder crew when no one else would take the job. At only 22 this East Coaster has an impressive body of work, from varied clients, spanning multiple markets culturally irrelevant to the mainstream. In English, that means she’s one hell of a productive hipster. So while she works for the enemy, we decided so what, we’re all friends here, andÂ banged out a nice little Quickie. Enjoy the aftermath.
How many quickies have you had?
(Laughing) I don’t even know how to answer that, enough to keep me content.
So besides being the Digital Editor at Snowboarder, what do you do?
Hmm… I do a lot of stuff. I guess outside of my full-time gig at Snowboarder most people know me for photography.
Have you ever taking photos during a quickie?
Come to think of it, I don’t think I have. That’s a good idea though… as long as I am the one in possession of the photos afterwards. I don’t need anyone blackmailing me.
Laura enjoys road trips, music festivals and shooting beautiful washy landscapes. photo: Laura Austin
What has been your most exciting or big deal photo gig?
The project I did with Heineken last summer was probably one of the better ones. They sent me out to music festivals to shoot the styles of the “festival-goers”. Thanks for assisting me in Chicago by the way… best assistant I’ve ever had.
Do you have a quickie with all of your assistants?
No, you are the only assistant I have crossed that boundary with.
How’d you end up as the Digital Editor at Snowboarder?
Through a series of random jobs in “the industry”. Before I was at Snowboarder I was working as a graphic designer at Quiksilver, designing print content for most of their snow and skate stuff. Then I had my own blogging stuff on the side, I even contributed to Yobeat a few times. By the time I heard the Online Editor position was open at Snowboarder I was tired of just being stuck at a desk 24-7 as a designer, so I hit up Bridges about it and things just fell into place.
LNP, beer and some hotel room. Laura gets to be there, you only get to comment about it. photo: Laura Austin
You’re pretty high up for someone so young, did a quickie or two help you climb the ladder?
Ha, fuck no. I’ve been working my ass off since high school to get where I am now. And don’t take “working my ass off” in the wrong way. I know how your mind works Lipton.
Now that you’re a lady blogger on the net, how do you feel about anonymous commentators?
I personally don’t care at all. I know I should in the position I am in, but anonymous or not… the people who get that worked up in the comment section of a website should go find something better to do with their time. I think it is pretty funny actually.
Do you feel weird about having such a public quickie? Considering it will be commented on and forever frozen in time?
I’ve gotten pretty used to having personal info littered onto the internet so I don’t mind.
There’s a threesome joke here, but, “REDRUM” seems more fitting. photo: Holden or Laura or something.
How has working in “the industry” changed your perception on snowboarding?
Oh man, I don’t know if I should answer this question. Anytime you turn your hobby/passion into work it is going to change your perception of it. I just have to make sure I get out to ride in completely non-work related situations enough for me to not just view snowboarding as a job. It’s easy to get eaten up and spit out or jaded in this industry, I just have to get creative finding ways for it to hold my interest.
I’ve done with quickies with a few pros now, how many pros have you done quickies with?
You think you are clever don’t you?
What’s the best part about working at Snowboarder?
The travel. But it’s also nice working with the crew we have over here.
Hipster shit somewhere in a baron, beautiful land. photo: Laura Austin
What do you think of Transworld?
Are you trying to start a war between Transworld and Snowboarder in hopes that we just kill eachother so Yobeat rises to the top? My completely honest answer is that, Transworld is cool. I have nothing against those guys. I just think they appeal to a completely different demographic than Snowboarder does. To me Transworld speaks to the casual snowboarder, where our voice appeals to the Snowboarder’s snowboarder more. That was a lot of “Snowboarder” in one paragraph. I have tunnel vision though. I tend to focus on what I am doing and how I can make that better… instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing.
Well that was boring. Anyway, last question, out of all the weenies in the world, which would you rather have in your mouth?
A Cobra Dog of course. Specifically a Cheddaconda Cobra style…. with mustard AND ketchup. Sorry Cory (Grove), I know you hate ketchup. You just got me excited to go to Govy this summer, weird.
Laura has a bunch of stupid articles that don’t mean shit over at her job, but she’s also got a website, with links to a plethora of content and plenty of beautiful photos. Check it out right here: http://laustindesign.com
Ted Borland is packing up and ready to head to Hood. Here’s a conversation about his recent snowboard season, and the adventures that came alongside. Feast your eyes on some top to bottom Brighton action and a tall guy in a wifebeater.
Video by Cole Taylor.
Lance Hakker and the Ashbury/Videograss crew has seen a quick rise to awesomeness. With new team riders on the way, new videos coming out and a whole slew of new product hitting the shelves it made sense to catch up and give you, our dear reader, the scoop in this Quickie with Lance Hakker.Â
You’re Lance Hakker, knower of all, workaholic and twin, what projects do you currently have your hands on?Â
I’m just cracking away at Ashbury mostly. We just put on a new skater that we’re gonna announce soon. My Mom is helping us get our books straight, so I’m helping her with that a lot. The Videograss session at High Cascade is coming up, so I’m looking forward to that. And we’re also gonna have a VG art show the day before the premiere sometime this summer up in Portland, so I gotta start making art, if I do end up making any art at all.
Can you leak any Ashbury/Videograss secrets for the millions of 13 year olds reading this?Â
I know you, and you’re looking for some wild dirt. And I know there’s some out there, and some that I know about and would be willing to reveal. But I just can’t think right now. You should have a full interview with Justin Meyer about that kind of thing, Justin loves that stuff. How about I just tell you who our new skater is, I’m pretty hyped on him. He’s a big basketball fan, so me and him hit it off real quick. He’s a big OKC fan because he’s from there originally, and we made a $50 bet on that last playoff series. And obviously, I lost. It’s Ernie Torres. He’s tight, and I’m hyped to have someone from Real on the team. We’ll more properly announce it really soon.
Oh and also, my brother just got a bird last night that he had shipped from Texas. It’s gonna be chilling at the Emporium every day now. His names is Pops and if anyone ever stops by, they’ll meet him.
Tell me about the Ashbury instacontest.Â
Oh yeah. It’s a monthly hashtag Instagram contest and we’ll switch it up every month. Right now we’re just looking for people to find our triangle circle logo out in the real world and tag it with #ashburyinstacontest. That goes on until the end of May, then next month we’ll do something else. Maybe make people draw something.
Rank these in importance; Snowboarding, skateboarding, bass fishing, the lakers, your girlfriend.
Oh wow. Really? Okay. Girlfriend, the Lakers, bass fishing, snowboarding, skateboarding.
The Lakers and bass fishing is hard, I put the Lakers first because the Lakers winning a championship is better than an amazing day of fishing, but if I were to catch a 13 pound or more bass, that would be way better than the Lakers winning the championship.
This is the kind of stuff that will win you all kinds of stuff from Ashbury.
How did filming for Videograss go this year? Did you ever think you’d be supporting three videos and getting energy drink money to do it?
Videograss is going really well. Justin (Meyer) always downplays his footage at this time of the year. But from everything I’ve seen, I’m psyched. And I know Hayden and Gary are psyched on how things went. We’ve been doing this for a while now, so I don’t bug anyone for leaks quite as much. Which is fun, because when I finally see the videos, they’ll be mostly new to me! And no way did I ever think I’d be this involved in making snowboard movies. I mean, I can be a risk taker and I’m always down to make something happen, but at the same time, it’s such a dream come true. It’s a privilege to be doing what I do. And yeah, Big Ev at Monster is seriously making so much possible for us. It’s crazy. Evan is killing it at Monster balancing all sides of snowboarding.
If you had to drink three tall Monster cans a day how much better would you be at business?
I think a lot of our back end stuff would just completely fall off. But, I’d probably be so creative. These past few days when I get my coffee, I’ve been dropping these coffee shots in my coffee, and I feel crazy. Right now, as I type, I feel super crazy. And I’m not the only one in here having those coffee shots, so our inter-office banter is pretty funny. With 3 tall Monsters, we’d lose it.
Snowboarding is a big, weird world these days.Â
Do you think snowboarding is heading in a good direction?Â
I don’t think snowboarding is heading in any direction really. It’s sorta like space maybe? It’s just expanding in every direction. If that is what space is doing. I’m biased, but I like what we’re doing with Ashbury and Videograss. I like all these new snowboard crews making their own homey movies. Everyone is motivated. One thing I think is cool, is I get a lot of kids who hit me up for advice on making it, or on getting in film crews or whatever. But they’re just asking to ask, just for information. They’re not even trying to get sponsored and I’m super impressed that so many kids have that mentality. It’s not so much a ‘me first’ mentality, it’s a ‘what do I have to do’. And that is so encouraging. As far as every time a triple cork is landed it’s a news piece of popular culture snowboarding, I mean whatever. It’s there. It’s inevitable. I don’t have anything to do with it and I sorta doubt I ever will. So what I think doesn’t even matter, right?
Â Hopefully this is Lance’s girlfriend and his brothers new parrot. Otherwise, this is just weird.Â
What’s going down at the VG session this summer?Â
That is a very good question. I actually emailed all the riders to get their ideas. That was a few weeks back, and so far I’ve had zero replies. Which is what you’d expect. But our riders are really active in participating with the kids. We do off-hill activities and on-hill every day. Everyone is skating with the kids, snowboarding, we give away a ton of promo. And of course, if you’re at Session One, the VG session, you get the first viewing of our movies. Which is something all of us involved in Videograss get excited about.
I dont get the appeal, but apparently it’s cool enough to make the papers.Â
Are there any plans to outdo yourselves for the infamous VG Premier number 4 this year?
Oh dude, you know me. I’m sort of a prude. But we’re gonna have two nights to make an attempt. With the art show the night before. I think Will Tuddenham and Jordan Mendenhall’s band, Wildcat Strike, is gonna play too. Which will be awesome. I feel that the crew is ready to let loose this time.
Last question, if kids start instagraming Ashbury logo tattoos will you give them free stuff?Â
Yes. If you’re going to get Ashbury tattoo’d on you, then you deserve some swag.
When you grow up in Portland, Oregon, surrounded by the “big name” pro guys, riding some of the best terrain on earth and honestly believing snowboarding is the most important thing in the world your perspective can get screwed up. Later in life, when you move to Chicago, snowboarding begins to mean something else. It begins to mean escape, fun and, “Oh god can I please go fucking snowboarding already.” But, some people are even further removed. In all honestly, those folks are the majority of the human population. So, curiosity struck, and I sat down with someone who maybe rides once every two years to find out what snowboarding means to the great unwashed. The answers were truly incredible. Check it out below.
What is snowboarding?
Snowboarding is riding down a mountain on a board that is strapped to your feet, that’s it.
What about dudes that do it professionally.
Well they have worked it out to where they know the movements that make snowboarding poetry and make people freak out about it.
What do you think about the X games?
Who cares? Who cares about the X games? Does anyone watch it? They can all go fuck themselves.
I’ve showed you videos where dudes ride in the city, backcountry and everywhere in between. What do you like most?
Well, if you’re riding a mountain you’re snowboarding. If you’re riding in the city it’s a totally different thing. There, you essentially get propelled onto a city thing to do a trick, or stunt rather. I mean, it’s totally two different things.
What do you think of snowboarding in the cities, down rails and on other urban objects?
Well it’s very different, it’s very creative, but um, it’s masturbation. I mean like, if you’re a snowboarder you should be on the fucking mountain. I mean, if you have to ride your snowboard and throw yourself at city shit, which is probably fun, it’s like drinking tricks at that point, like, you’re just kinda burning time. You’re not really snowboarding. Snowboarding is about really being on a mountain. If you want to snowboard, just go find a mountain.
What about the side of snowboarding that progressed past the mountain? The side of snowboarding that either doesn’t have access or doesn’t have any interest in the big mountain scene?
Well, it’s weird. They should be skateboarding, you know. And, if they can’t skateboard and they are that diehard about snowboarding, that’s fine. With snowboarding you build this jump and you hit it, and it’s over, and then you have to go back to the top, and then you do it over, and I mean, I get it, you feel like a badass, you know? But, that’s one thing that makes Midwestern snowboarding very trick focused. These are people that will spend their time, from the womb, going down one hill, hitting one jump, perfecting that trick, they are not really snowboarding, they are simply doing tricks.
Michigan, where you are from, has a big scene, how do you feel about people putting all their eggs in the pro snowboard basket?
I think go for it. I think, Midwestern people, historically, have done really well. These are people that ride on ice. I mean, they spend all their time on the worst conditions possible. Therefore, they get way better than people that get to ride on powder all the time. If they are actually good, when they head west, they prove how good they are, and they go pro.
How do you feel about the east coast ?
Well, that’s how it is out there too. I mean, go to Vermont, which is as good as it gets out there. I mean, fuck, if you want to go into the streets you have to sling shot each other just like any of these other places out here. I mean, that is East coast.
So would you say they are the same?
No, no chance. Vermont, and the Appalachians, are truly mountains. The Midwest is growing up on hills and dealing with it. The East coast is mountains.
And what about he west?
Well, it’s just a whole different thing. People that ride in the West ride for real. People that ride in the East, they do tricks, you know, they hit jumps, they um, they have fun, it’s more like a roller skate rink, where out West you become in tune with the mountain, you ride it until it almost becomes like hiking. You know the mountain, you go down it, you do a trick because you’re stroking yourself, you know where you are, but, on the East and in the Midwest you are just doing tricks, you’re not learning how to snowboard. They don’t have the luxury of a ride, they just get to do the run, which is a jump, or a couple of rails, so they end up just being way better than everyone else at that, but not at riding down a mountain.
You were a skier since 8, a snowboarder since 9, a photographer, an art student and more. You’re now an artist that actually makes money, what advice do you have for those skipping school or life to chase the snowboard dream?
You only live once. Riding down a mountain is important. And, if you have it take up most of your time then you’re lucky. Especially if you’re good at it, especially if you get something from it. But, don’t be an idiot, if you’re going to do it, be poetic about it, don’t take up anyone elses time, take up your time. You should do everything outside of the dream though. Because the reality is you probably suck. I mean, maybe you don’t, maybe you’re great, but you’d already know it, and everyone else does too. But, if you’re not, then fuck, you should really have something else going on, and if you don’t, then yeah, you’re a fucking idiot. It’s fucking pro sports, don’t be a fucking moron, if you’re that good, you’d know already by a young age.
So we just watched Videograss’s “Shoot the Moon.” What do you think about the kids riding in the streets now?
I mean honestly, if I were a snowboarder I’d get bored. I’d want something different. They are obviously bored with the mountains, but I feel like, to me, the reasons you would do this is because you’re from the Midwest or east coast. Because you don’t have the insane terrain. So, these kids are all about the trick. It’s not like they are taking a run, it’s a one off.
What did you think about Nick Dirks?
He makes the most sense to me because his whole thing is balls. You know, it’s not about riding a mountain, it’s about going out there and doing stuff, it’s about freaking shit out. It’s not about riding a snowboard as much as conquering whatever is in front of you. It’s such a flashy thing, kids wanna see balls out, I mean they don’t want to see someone ride a mountain beautifully. They want to see some punk rock. But, I think most kids from the West don’t realize the beauty that they are in, they want to break snowboards over rails, they want to show how badass they are.
Ok mainstream how about this. X games is a thing on ESPN, the Olympics happens once every four years, Shaun White makes gum and scooters, what do regular (aka the majority of people) think about snowboarding?
It’s a sport. It’s something you can do physically with your time and that will never change unless global warming fucks it up. As long as there is snow people will ride on it. And it’s unbiased, as bad ass as you think you are, there are a million other people on that mountain next to you. You don’t have to be a pro to appreciate being on the mountain.
Shaun White is kind of snowboarding’s public persona, kind of our Michael Jordan whether people like it or not. As a person who doesn’t really care, what are your thoughts about that?
Well, he’s certainty an athlete. But, I mean I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck about Shaun White, does anyone? I think it’s great that he makes so much money doing something he loves and surely he’s good at it. But, I don’t give a fuck.
In the grand scheme how important is snowboarding?
Probably surprising to you, it’s very important. It’s super expressive. Almost anyone can do it. It’s very physical and that’s beautiful. I mean, if you’re into it and you can do it, you should. You can be so in tune with terrain, like you’re doing something almost no one has access to.
If you could be a pro snowboarder, talented as fuck and getting paid a whole lot of money, would you rather being doing that?
Oh definitely, it’s a great life style. I’m jealous of those that can do it. I mean, that’s just having fun for a living.
Videograss, or the “new guys” as they were known just a few years ago, have quickly become a video and cultural powerhouse in the snowboard world. WithÂ multipleÂ videos coming out, some shiny awards under their arms and what seems like a hand inÂ absolutelyÂ every corner of this industry it seems like they’ve peaked quickly, so we sat down to find out how it’s going, how they’re dealing with this snowless winter and if and when they’ll jump the shark. Darth Lord and all around editing magician Justin Meyer sat down to give us the scoop.Â
Last year was a big year for Videograss, what’s in store for this year?
This year we are keeping the momentum going. We got the two main ï¬‚icks this year,Â and then doing “The Circuit” which is contest coverage stuff. Also we are helping out theÂ Keep the Change crew and their AM movie.
Are there any major changes this year? I hear Nike is making their own project. IsÂ that effecting your roster or production at all?
YaÊ¼, a lot of companies are doing their own things this year that took a few good guysÂ from our roster. Jed (Anderson) and (Justin) Bennee are working on the Nike project.Â ItÊ¼s now going to be a two year deal judging from the rumormill, and then Salomon isÂ doing the Team Vacation, which is a sweet shop/resort/city tour with the team, IÊ¼m sureÂ you’ve seen the edits. Louif is on that tour and he did the Xgames stuff. I think Louif andÂ Jed will have a Salomon online part coming soon, keep your eyes for that, itÊ¼s gonna beÂ the bees knees. And (Zack) Marben is doing the Volcom online edits too.
This has been a terrible snow year, how are you guys coping?
Snow has been absolute shit this year. We have just been racking up the travel budgetÂ going broke and having to ï¬lm in Europe. I guess they had a shitty snow year last year,Â so we did a little U.S./Euro snow swap.
Your ï¬‚ick is called “The Darkside”, pretty heavy considering what your crew hasÂ brought to the table in the last few years. Is there anything we should beÂ especially excited for?
YaÊ¼ we got a few new guys in the crew. We snagged Ben Bilocq and Harrison GordonÂ back from the lightside. They are both doing really well so far. We got Larry(LNP) backÂ this year, and heÊ¼s kickinÊ¼ ass. We added Joe Sexton to the crew, and he ï¬ts like aÂ glove. We also got Danimals on full time. Anyone who pays attention, knows he wonÊ¼tÂ disappoint.
Was there any bad blood or weird reactions towards Joe Sexton when he cameÂ back to Ashbury and began ï¬lming for the VG crew?
YaÊ¼ there was a little, nothing serious, but it was there. Everyone just let him have it withÂ a proper hazing ï¬rst few trips and he took it like a champ. Joe has always been anÂ awesome kid, he just had been distant from the guys he originally came up with forÂ while, and now heÊ¼s back. Everyone is down. Family life in VG is all good.
Since your other production is more jump and powder focused, do you know howÂ this horrible snow year has affected them?
Yeah, Hayden Rensch and Gary Milton are heading that up with Keegan Salmon. ThoseÂ guys have been kicking ass. Whistler has been really good for them, and Quebec CityÂ has been buried since January, so they are stacking clips like crazy. The lightside isÂ bringing major heat this year.
Is the future of snowboard video online?
I donÊ¼t think so. I think online snowboarding has its place, but itÊ¼s more along a sister toÂ print ads. ItÊ¼s one and done. There is no heart or soul there. Online videos are just a keyÂ element to the bigger picture. You gotta do it all, and at the end of the year there willÂ always be the release everyone has waited for that holds the true heart ofÂ snowboarding.
Snowboard videos seem to show the trends in talent location. A while back theÂ talent was coming from Finland, then Quebec and now Minnesota. Why do youÂ think the Hyland kids are so good, and is there any hint at where the nextÂ generation will come from?
Hyland kids donÊ¼t mess around. They have that rope tow, and learn so fast. I think theÂ next generation will need to be more than park/street kids. We are due for some rippingÂ young pow kids. Northwest has an awesome scene. IÊ¼m gonna go ahead and guess theÂ next generation will be a mix of northwest kids and east/midwest kids. Salt Lake CityÂ has a lot of well rounded kids as well. Either way itÊ¼s gonna be awesome.
How are the older guys coping with this new explosion of young talent? We’reÂ seeing younger and younger kids learning the tricks that were invented byÂ today’s best riders.
ItÊ¼s a cycle. Kids pick up where the older guys have left off. They go to learn tricks andÂ where they start is just at that next level. I think snowboarding is ï¬nally starting to holdÂ dear to the older guys. Snowboarding needs that, and itÊ¼s not always about the nextÂ fetus that can 360 onto a rail, or triple cork a park jump. Style is the only surviving factorÂ over the years.
Is VGsnow.com trying to take over the media world?
(Laughing) No way, we just want to put out the best stuff we can and hype up what weÂ believe will keep snowboarding legit.
Last Question, will Nick Dirks have a full part this year?
Of course he will. IÊ¼m going to go ahead and claim best Nick Dirks part ever this year.Â He’s on ï¬re.
Jess Kimura has had a hell of a year. She won all the awards at that the Transworld Grammy’s and none from Yobeat, but she’s ok with that. Either way, Jess has proven that she’s a force to be reckoned with, a new breed of female rider, part beast, part talent, pure determination. Whether she’s bleeding, smoking, farting or doing chin-ups in her shed you can be damned sure of one thing, Jess is going to be a legend, has bigger balls than you and will have one hell of a part after this Winter. With that in mind, we decided to jump on board the golden girl and ask questions at random.
Are you ready for a Quickie?
You’re officially snowboarding’s “it girl” or woman, how are you handling that?
Yeah well I’m surprised you are interviewing me, since you hate everything “it”. Â I’m trying to handle it the best I can, didn’t expect things to get this big, that’s for sure.
So what’s next? Take the year off to make reality TV appearances and do photo shoots for ESPN?
No fucking way dude. Not a lot of people get this opportunity, to be heard and to make an impact through their riding. I’m not going to waste it on a fake modeling career.
Are you filming for anything?
Yeah, I’m filming for the Nike movie and for a web series on Transworld, your favorite friends. Oh, and I always got some filming love for Peepshow.
Are you still making film crews cringe with your patented near death slams?
Oh man, if you would have seen how bloody my face was last night. Well I guess the answer is yes, absolutely. It’s not like I’m trying to do that, I don’t want that to be my trademark. It just comes with the territory. That’s what I tell myself when I’m face down bleeding and crying in the snow.
What happened last night?
We were hitting a rail/closeout thing. I got in the zone and was landing my tricks like, second or third try. I was so stoked ‘cause things were really going good. Then the genny ran out of gas, the boys went to get more gas, I got cold, the gatekeeper tried to kick us out, I felt super rushed and dropped in again. Worst case scenario on my first hit and even worse on my second, smashed my face, bled everywhere, spit blood on Dykeboy’s lens and called it quits for the night.
Did Dykeboy get turned on by all the blood?
No cause I think we were both bleeding, if ya’ know what I mean.
Rumor has it you had a pretty great quote during your acceptance speech about girls and their legs, what was it?
Um, I just thanked the other girls I was nominated alongside for giving girls something better to do with their legs than wrapping them around a brass pole, something to that effect. I look up to those riders a lot and I do think it’s important to give little girls something better to look towards to than makeup and baby making.
Are you not a fan of strippers and strip clubs?
Strippers are definitely entertaining, but I guess I’m just glad it’s not me on stage.
Do you think being a good snowboarder would help you be a good stripper?
Nah, I think it would look wack, ‘cause the general style we have snowboarding does not transfer well to good dancing style. I mean look at Louie Vito. I’d probably end up farting on people while I gave them lap dances.
Your board sponsors slogan is, “We devour everything.” If a guy dropped his pants and said, “Devour this!” What would you do?
Fuck, I think I would just laugh, or face push him, or both.
How much of last season were you injured?
I’d say a solid 70%. November, December, January I was out, shredded for a week before being back on the couch for Febuary, came back in March and a week later tore my MCL in my knee. Two months of mental torture passed before I met up with Dangler and scratched and clawed my way to finishing my part,but I made it up to my soul by riding every day this summer.
Are you healthy this year?
Yeah I am. I mean I had an incident before Xmas where I ended up in the hospital in Mammoth but I’m all good now. I was actually physically ready for the season this year. I built a gym in my shed so I could smoke and do chin-ups at the same time.
Women’s snowboarding is in a state of flux, what’s the best part of having a vagina these days?
I think it’s the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. As a girl, I think many people expect me to be bad at things or to fail in a way that they can laugh at.Â I see it as a huge opportunity to be a part of progressing something. If I was a guy there is no way I could keep up with that level. There are so many things that haven’t been done yet by girls, I almost see it as a separate thing from boy snowboarding. It’s hard to relate to guys but it’s easy to relate to girls so I’m just trying to bring some hope to the big picture. If you had a box you would know what I mean.
What’s the worst part about having a vagina?
Bleeding once a month and over thinking everything. Oh, and being targeted by greasy dicks.
Are you as rugged in bed as your are on a snowboard, or are you a cute and cuddly girl behind closed doors?
That’s the last thing I want people to think about. I would rather people be disgusted by thinking about it so just go to cakefarts.com and be done with it.
There are a lot of rumors floating around that girls don’t poop. True or false?
What goes in must come out right? I eat a lot of fruit so I bet I lay more turds in a day than you do in a week. I can’t speak for the others, except for Desiree [Melancon]Â she definitely poops.
How do you react to people giving you shit? Â
I just try to look at the big picture, what the end result will be. They might think I’m a kook in that moment, or a loser or a shitty snowboarder, or whatever but if you get caught up in that shit it can destroy you.Â I try to react with actions, trying to convince people with words doesn’t work as well. If people want to pigeonhole me into being a lame girl snowboarding I’ll fucking show them whats up.
With your fists? Would you drag them into your shed?
Yeah, drag ‘em into my shed and then fist them.
These are the companies making money off of Jess and grinning from ear to ear that they were smart enough to sign her:Â Volcom, CAPiTA, Nike, Electric, Monster, Union, Coal, and Celtek.
If you haven’t seen her full part from Defenders of Awesome, then do it now, CLICK HERE.Â
Dear Women, Andrew Brewer is now pro and likes smokin’ babes. photo: Estone
From Reno rebel to Reno rebel with a few extra dollars in his pocket, Andrew Brewer has blazed his own path to pro status. He basically lives with the COMUNE kids but rides for Neff and Matix, he dresses like an American badass but rides for Technine. Basically, Brewer has let talent and passion lead the charge, and after a couple of good years in front of the camera, this good times hellion is finally starting to make waves. When news broke that Arnette turned Brewer pro, we called him, his Team Manager and anyone around him to get a Quickie in before the rest of the world could lay a finger on him.
The news is out, you’re the new Arnette pro. What are you doing right now?
Naked in bed with a chick! Jackpot! Being pro has benefits I guess.
Did you tell the naked girl you’re pro now?
She’s reading this, she knows everything.
Does she think you’re more attractive now that you’re a pro boarder?
She says she doesn’t give a shit about snowboarders but if I was a DJ/Skier she’d be asking for a ring.
Rumor is you like to party. How will you be celebrating your promotion?
Well, last night was my roommate Brendan Gerard’s birthday, so we partied pretty hard. It was a joint party I suppose, but anyways I lost about 80 bucks at the casino. Always a good night.
Who’s better, Red Gerard or Brendan Gerard?
Brendan, but it won’t be long ‘till “Shred” as he likes to call himself is blowing past Brendan. That kid rips so hard it’s badass, and he’s a rad little dude, I think they are comin’ here today actually.
Now that you’re Pro for Arnette do you feel stupid (or angry) about being Am on other companies?
Not really. Not at all actually, you have to earn your way up I think. Plus, a lot of time there’s not much budget to add new pros so u gotta show why you earn deserve it.
Are you filming this year? How’s the lack of snow treating you?
Like shit, but it’s been cool. This way we get to go on more trips. But yeah, filming with FODT again. Those dudes are a rad crew. I love trips with them.
What’s it like being the resident hipster on Technine?
[Laughing] Nothing is different. Everyone glamorizes Technine as being so “G” but in reality we’re all just in it to snowboard. None of those dudes give a shit. Technine used to have Wittlake for god sakes, and Darrel Mathes, Robbie Sell, Corey Smith, Miami Thunder, Messier, I’m nothing new there.
Pro boarders only hit the most glamorous spots. photo: Estone
Any highlights from the road this year?
Honestly man just meeting new dudes that help us out on trips. We met this dude Jesse in Canada for example and he literally sat in a truck for three hours watching for cops as we hit this spot. Dudes like that are what make this stuff happen for us.
Have you been arrested on the road or had any hangups or hangovers that stand out?
Luckily no, not yet. Haven’t been arrested, but when we were in Chicago last year we had some interesting things happen. We just said we were with ESPN and filming for Xgames and they were down. People literally came out of the back doors of bars to watch us in this alley way. At one point there were like 30 people just chilling watching us.
What’s the reality of being pro? Is life glitz, glam, cash showers and first class tickets now?
[Laughing] Fuck no. I still live in an attic, I’m still flying standby and when were snowboarding it’s work. I wish we had a posse that came with us just to shovel.
Would you rather be “Super Pro”? What kind of shit would you buy with Shaun White money?
Of course I want to be “super pro”. But if I had Shaun White money I would buy a private jet that just said BREWER. Also I’d buy a couple sweet pads. One in LA, Â and one in NYC just ‘cause I love those cities. Oh and one in Chicago, ‘cause that city rips.
Are you a better snowboarder or girl slayer?
I don’t think I’m very good at either, but I try and that’s all that counts. Sometimes I just get lucky. Right place right time shit.
Who gets more blowjobs in Reno, sponsored kids or pros?
Whoever has the most drugs, actually probably frat fags. They’re a hot commodity in Reno.
What do you consider your best moment in bed?
Hmm, pulled a threesome with some babes a few months ago that was pretty badass.
I’ve heard in Reno when two men want one woman they whip out their dicks and let her choose. Any truth to that?
So who won the gamble? You, or the other guy?
I could of but I flaked, shit got weird.
Who hasn’t wanted to jump off a house? Guess this is the benefit of living in Tahoe. photo: Estone
You’ve had a couple covers, some video parts, other stuff, what do you consider the best moment in your career?
Man to be honest, when we won the team shoot out and I saw my picture on the cover of Transworld that was like, “Holy shit I made it.” So probably then.
So, it’s day one of the rest of your life, how are you feeling and what’s next?
Lemme’ think. Probably just keep doing what I’m doing. It’s a pretty sweet gig. Plus it’s always day one of the rest of your life, and I’m feeling great!
Do you have fans? Are you protective over your “public image” or are you willing to let things fly and show the world who you really are?
I do have fans. I think? But all of them know me for me. I’m not really ashamed of much. I don’t think u ever should be. Own up to who u are don’t be a fake ass Mo Fer.
Would you rather be able to double corkÂ or bang the girl currently in your bed?
Probably the chick next to me. Everyone can double cork now-a-days so whatever. Not everyone can score smokin’ hot babes.
Then go sex her up. Congrats on the promotion.
Mr. Brewer is currently riding for this list of companies: T9, DVS, Matix, Arnette, Neff, Northwave, Eternalsnow.com, cakeatr, i think thats its i let u know if i remember anymore
Kimmy Fasani, aka the girl who can double backflip, has had a big winter. Since her original Hump Day she’s dropped DC, headed back to Burton, found love and been to Japan with the Pipe Champ Kelly Clark. Seeing as everyone’s all about her this week we decided it was time to nail Kimmy with a Quickie.
You’re a girl, you double flipped, let’s hear about it.
It was really scary. I just had to trust that I knew what I was doing and that I was committed to the trick. After the first one was out of the way, in both park and pow, I was a lot more confident.
So you’re on Burton now. Can we assume DC snowboarding is officially dead?
Yeah I’m on Burton, and I’m so excited on the opportunity to be representing their AK line. DC is doing fine. They have an incredible team and have a really good program going on, it was just time for me to be part of a company that has more of a women’s voice.
I heard they are killing their whole snow operation. Is there any truth to that?
That was a swirling rumor every year, and no, there’s no truth to it.
How many times have you been on Burton and how many double backflips are they going to make you do to stay on it?
Burton was my first sponsor and I was with them until 2006. I had a five-year hiatus and now I’m back. There’s no pressure on me to do anything but ride and film. I’m hoping to do more doubles though. They are so fun!
I remember we used to joke about you learning doubles into the DC Mountain Lab airbag. Now that you’ve become famous for doing them, can I take all the credit as your spiritual and inspirational leader?
Of course you can take the credit! Talking about them is what made me want to do them.
You’ve sort of gotten famous for the double, are you nervous it’ll become a label?
I look at the double backies I’ve done as just another trick that I learned, it hasn’t changed my life, just my perspective. I know now that I am capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. I am grateful for all the exposure that trick has brought but I am still just doing my thing, having fun, and trying to push myself.
Are we going to see a triple?
I’m leaving that craziness for the guys. I have a lot more of a foundation to work on than trying to see how many times I can flip.
Does it bother you that 16 year old boys can triple cork and not one girl can?
No, it doesn’t bother me. We learn differently and are naturally more cautious. Getting 7’s, 9’s, 10’s, and doubles come way before the triples.
What if we just strapped in little Chinese acrobats, like 11-year-old girls. Do you think they’d blow minds or just explode and die on the landing?
I bet they could get the rotations around no problem but my vote is they wouldn’t be able to land. Anybody can huck tricks, it’s whether they’ll land it or not. Landing and style are all that counts, in my mind.
Not to bum out the boys, but did you just get married?
I did. Got married in September.
What’s that like? Do you ever gopro your bedroom antics?
Being married is the best thing! Wouldn’t you like to know!
Anyway, seeing as you’ve married a skier, and they’re famous for being fast, is that true in all aspects of their life, like when you guys have sex?
Well, good thing I didn’t marry a racer and Chris takes his time to get down the mountain.
What’s it like riding Japan pow with the Pipe Champ Kelly Clark? Did the locals swarm you guys?
Going to Japan with Kelly (Clark) was so sweet! She’s so strong at riding pow, and yes, she has a lot of fans over there!
What’s the difference between a Dew Tour crowd and a crowd of swarming Japanese?
You can see the appreciation with the Japanese as soon as you shake their hand.
Serious question, when a girl slams on her chest, do your boobs ever ache for days?
I haven’t come across that problem yet, but I guess it depends on how big your boobs are…
Now that you’re on Burton, do you think you could get us Shaun White’s autograph?
I think you have a better chance than I do. OR is the Outdoor Retailer trade show. It’s Burton’s first time showing their AK line at the show. As for the Europe trip I’m still figuring out all the details.
So who’s more famous, you, or your pro skier husband?
Chris definitely holds the cards in this one…
Trick question, I’ve never heard of him, so he loses. Anyway, is there any competition there?
Never competition. All we have is love for each other. We are working hard to build our life together…. cheesy but true.
Do you sit around and watch each other’s video parts?
Yep. We do. He actually put my re-edit with standard together for me.
What do you think about all the dudes who just wanna’ get wasted, bang someone and huck a flip or slide a rail when they wake up?
Everyone has a different goal on what they want to accomplish. I just can’t keep up with that scene. I also think there’s a time and place for everything. If those guys can still do their job then I guess it’s no harm no foul…
If there’s nothing else our two worlds can agree on, what brand of condom do skiers and snowboarders both depend on?
Kimmy currently has more sponsors than anyone I’ve ever cared to listen to, here’s the complete list: BURTON, ZEAL, SKULLCANDY, CLIF BAR, MAMMOTH MOUNTAIN, MIMI’S COOKIE BAR, MOGO, SNOWCREEK ATHLETIC CLUB, LIGHT GIVES HEAT, B4BC and the newly created Burtongirls.com
A standout in this year’s Peepshow flick, Gabi Viteri has proven she can ride, and ride with style. So we thought it was weird that we hadn’t gotten to know Gabi yet. To remedy that situation, Gabi and I had a nice little Quickie. Now I know Gabi well enough to consider her the best baker I’ve ever met, someone who can take a joke and possibly snowboarding’s new Ollie Queen.
Have you ever had a quickie before?
I would be kinda concerned if I haven’t, I’m 23 and not Mormon.
Who’s your boyfriend?
Zak Hale, maybe you’ve heard of him, he sucks at snowboarding.
Isn’t he like 19? Is it weird when you get torn up at the bar or is he just the best DD ever?
Exactly! It works out just great. I will be the first to say age ain’t shit but a number.
Does Burton pay you more to date a Burton guy?
You should be a agent, they should, tell ‘em.
Ok, enough about some dude that isn’t you. What’s your deal, why is everyone making a stink about you?
Thanks. Um, I really don’t know, that’s a good questions, ask them.
I saw you in both Peep Show and Snow Porn. I noticed you had style and did actual tricks. Is that a theme in girls snowboarding now? Actually being able to do it?
I sure hope so, I think it’s always been there but girls are really starting to step up more now which is awesome to see.
This is only a small taste of what Gabi can do.
Is there anything you hope to get on film, to prove you’re a badass or whatever?
Anything but double flipping, I’m not made for that.
Could you do a double flip in bed?
Oh my god yes! Like Ray J and KIm K.
Where all have you gotten to travel because of snowboarding?
Crazy places like Africa, North Carolina, Europe, Canada, Hawaii, and I think Iran this year.
Are Americans even allowed in Iran? Do you have to wear a headscarf?
I think were going in February, and we sure do.
If you don’t get burned or stoned to death that will be a great trip!
It’s all apart of the journey and experience. But yes I hope it goes well, knock on wood.
We weren’t sure if Gabi could ride Pipe before this interview.
Your answers both make sense and are grammatically correct, did you go to college or something?
Yes, I actually am in college, mellow style but it’s good to exercise my brain.
How do you balance school and a full-time, successful snowboard career?
Well getting injured a lot in the last two years helped with time off, that’s when school comes into play. And when I am hurt I have A.D.D and feel worthless so it helps keep me sane.
What are you studying?
Business, so I can be a Boss one day.
What kind of boss do you want to be?
I wanna be the boss of my own business. I’m thinking a baking company, that’s my other passion. Business is really boring but I can’t snowboard forever, I realized this last year when I grew up a little bit.
What kind of baking are you into? Have you ever eating your pain away? Fat girl style. Eating and crying but just forcing the food into your mouth because it’s the only thing that makes the pain go away?
Everything and anything that tastes good from cookies to cakes. Ha! That’s exactly what I do, then I go anorexic for the few weeks so I can keep snowboarding.
Did you get into baking to lose weight? Like, by making food you somehow controlled it, letting you eat less and less?
You know me so well. No honestly I started baking my own stuff ‘cause it doesn’t have all that preservative shit in it, its delicious. I like making my own, creating things, like cookie dough brownie, so good.
Gabi made this for her niece. It blew the entire Yobeat staff away. You should be impressed.
Gabi’s riding would probably make Matty Ryan proud.
How often do you get injured? How badly? Do you cry?
Honestly not to much before the last two years. I think it snowballed from one injury to the next cause I wasn’t patient and kept going back to early and pushing myself to hard. Everything from dislocating my hip, separating my shoulder, to ACL surgery. I cried for my hip outta’ pain, the rest out of being pissed off.
Is it ok for boys to cry? Does it piss you off that girls cry so much?
Of course. It’s refreshing to see a man cry, I mean were all human right? I don’t think it pisses me off that girls cry so much, not my deal.
When is it ok for a guy to cry?
Um, when I turn him down.
Do you have any girly friends? What do they think when they see you slam into the ground or explode on impact?
Some of them think i’m crazy for doing it. Most of my girly friends snowboard too though. Gosh, you don’t think we’re all tom boys do you?
Are you going to impress us in the future or burn out and let us all down?
Impress, never burn out.
For more pictures of Gabi in her underwear click here!
Gabi rides for Burton, Anon, Sweet Cheeks, The House and Mimi’s Cookie Bar. We support Sweet Cheeks and so should you, click here to learn more about panties with a purpose. For more on Gabi check out her personal site gabiviteri.com or read her blog on Burtongirls.com
Prepare for Monday. That’s when Videograss and Yobeat will release the remixed version of Will Tuddenham’s “Shoot the Moon” section. If you haven’t seen the original, it’s heavy, awesome, and the bangers, well, they are the real deal. That’s why we found it odd that Mr. Tuddenham is currently without a board sponsor, seemingly at the height of his budding career. We caught up with Will, to make sure he hasn’t killed himself, and to see what’s next in our very first “Quickie” interview.
You lost your board sponsor, your friends are busy traveling and your girlfriend is drinking beer in Australia. Does that sum up your life right now?
I guess so… That’s pretty shitty when you look at it like that.
So why the split between you and Nitro?Â
Thats a good question, some what of a long story, but to make it quick I guess you could say I was cut. I was never officially told I was -—just happened.
One day the checks stopped showing up and no one would pick up your calls?
Not exactly… I was told it was going to be hard to keep giving me what I was getting, but to keep in touch and we would see what we could work out. Â The next thing I heard is that someone at Nitro was telling people I wasn’t on the program anymore. I was paid through the end of my contract though, so I wasn’t totally screwed.
Does this make you look at snowboarding differently? Where’s your head at?
Yeah a lot differently. Â I mean I still love snowboarding and still want to keep filming more than anything, but it’s pretty hard to stay motivated when you get cut and you didn’t do anything to deserve it. It’s made me pretty bitter.
So you weren’t “marketable” enough for Nitro. What do you think really “sells” these days?
Loud funny snowboarders, being all over the web, first or last part in a movie, and triple corks? I honestly don’t really know, but I need to figure it out ASAP.
Well, let’s find out how marketable you are. Do you have tattoos?
Yes I do.
I hear that’s cool. Have you considered a neck tat? Or getting an inappropriate one for a web video?
Never considered it, neck tat wouldn’t happen though, especially since I have to get a real life job now.
Are you willing to develop a substance abuse problem or do a short stint in jail?
I could do some jail time if it was for something awesome. Â I’m really into Breaking Bad right now, maybe I could get into cooking meth.
Are you handy with chemistry?Â
No… I suck at chemistry… Shit…
Do you think the Dew Tour or Triple Corks could even help you? Does anyone even want to see you do that shit?
I don’t think it would, I like to believe people would like to so me doing the type of snowboarding I enjoy doing. Â Plus, even if I could do that shit I don’t know that I would, Â It’s not my type of snowboarding.
Are you good at anything besides snowboarding?
Not especially, I like playing music a lot. Â Jordan (Mendenhall) and I are in a band.
Trick question, good snowboarders don’t get cut. Ok, that was a joke and super mean, but is it awkward being in a band with Jordan knowing he didn’t get cut?
No definitely not, Jordan is insanely good, always films a really good part and deserves to be sponsored forever. If someone like Jordan were to get cut, I would seriously question that company and their outlook on snowboarding.
So if Will Tuddenham can’t get a board sponsor, what chance do the thousands of other kids have?Â
Well first off, I’m definitely not anything special, so probably a good chance. But in all honesty, I don’t have a lot of faith in snowboard companies anymore, and it’s not because there isn’t a market for it the type of snowboarding guys like me are doing, it’s because a lot of snowboard companies don’t think there is a market for that type of snowboarding. Â It’s like they all of the sudden lost faith in it.
So what’s your plan for the rest of the winter?
Keep boarding, get a job, play music.
Who would you consider your worst sponsor all-time?
Hmm Rossignol was probably the worst of ‘em.
What would you consider the scariest shot you’ve ever gotten?
The gap to ledge that was the last shot in my part in Shoot the Moon.
You were the young dude behind Jon (Kooley) and Jordan at Nitro, are you ready to step up to the plate and be a man?
Yeah I’m ready, fuck yeah.
Could you find the time in your busy schedule to make some edits for Yobeat?Â
Yeah lets do this.
We’ll pay you the same as Nitro, aka nothing. Deal?
While currently on the market, the nice gents’ at Capita have been feeding Will a healthy flow of snowboards to tide him over. Hopefully he can film a part in snowless Utah with them. We at Yobeat believe 2012 will end up being a great year for young Will, or we’re all dead anyway and none of this matters.
When you’re over hiking the muddy patch at Mt. Snow you drive a little further north and ride Killington. Once you get that pesky gondola and chairlift ride out of the way your set for a day of down rail hiking! In other words, we just got bombarded with Killington edits, so here they are (plus one we found with some smooth moves) for your viewing pleasure!
The Killington early season park is good for two things: scorpioning on down rails thanks to your brand new board that you haven’t detuned, and training for Killington’s Loaded Turkey Jam and Rails to Riches. You know what I’m talking about bs450 on.
When your friends aren’t laying down the hammers you secretly film recent east coast heavies, i.e. Dylan Dragotta and Johnny O’Connor.
It’s good to see the tranny finders have gained enough of a following to open a new chapter in Vermont.
We’re gonna try a new ploy to get you to buy stuff from our store. It’s a limited artist series! Creative, right? Whether you think so or not, the shirts will feature people and artists we like and be available for one month only. For November, we recruited COMUNE Art Director and big time ex-pro boarderCorey Smith, who requested his art on a baseball T. Since it was his vision, we said, sure! Everyone of these shirts is handprinted on American Apparel 3/4 sleeve shirts in Portland, OR and features the Spring Break Snowboard’s mascot “Booze Buddy” along with a woven Yobeat tag. All of this for a mere $25! But don’t wait, as soon as it’s not November anymore, these will be gone and you’ll have blown it.
In case you’re not convinced, here’s a quick Q & A with Corey about the project.
1. Give everyone a brief history on why you matter please.
What kind of question is that? I don’t know, I’m a creative human that seeks happiness and productivity.
2. What was your favorite aspect of snowboarding?
I still snowboard man, there’s no “was.” I don’t know, I dig it all.
3. Favorite all-time board graphic?
That’s a hard one, Maybe Tyler Lepore’s first “Totally Awesome” CAPiTA board. I really like that one. Also Wittlake’s M3 with the collage of all the homies on it.
Photo courtesy springbreaksnowboards.com
4. How has your art career advanced since retiring?
It’s going killer Nick, you should come O.D. in my pool sometime.
5. What’s Spring Break snowboards all about?
They’re handmade abstract, primitive, powder specific snowboards. We call them Party Boards, It’s a little project I started with some friends. Its pretty much a big art project and social experiment within snowboarding. It’s probably the funnest shit I’ve done in snowboarding. SPRING BREAK NO PARENTZ NO RULZ!
6. What are you most excited about these days?
I’m looking forward to being in the mountains as much as possible this winter and snowboarding my ass off. Snowboarding with friends and enjoying life excites me. I’m hoping to travel as much as possible and ride some of my new snowboard creations.
7. How is COMUNE doing since the management drama?
110% better than ever. I love being in downtown LA. The new COMUNE office and studio is so perfect for the brand. Its hands down the most creatively and culturally inspiring place I’ve lived since I moved to Southern California.
Photo courtesy springbreaksnowboards.com
8. Why did you say yes when we asked you to do a shirt?
I have a weak ego so when anyone asks me to do anything that will garner more notoriety I can’t help but accept.
9. What’s up with the graphic?
The graphic is “Booze Buddy” he’s the Spring Break mascot. He’s got a few friends that are into bad shit, but he’s cool. He’s loosely based on Stephan Duke. Booze buddy likes to party but he always has fun and never gets caught up.
10. What’s the coolest way the world could end in 2012?
The world is not ending in 2012. But if it did, I’d like to see gravity reverse and we all just fly up into the atmosphere in a big ball of debris.
You can check out the whole Spring Break snowboards line, and get your own at springbreaksnowboards.com. If you somehow missed it, be sure to read Corey’s Hump Day interview and oh yeah, go buy a shirt!
ps. If you “like” us on facebook, there is a code for 20% off.