Cleaning Crews Continue to Mop Up Blown Minds After Fourth Phase Premiere

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Los Angeles, CA
Travis Rice and Brain Farm’s highly anticipated release, ‘The Fourth Phase,’ premiered tonight at the Shrine Theatre in Los Angeles, California to a capacity crowd of who’s who in the snowboarding world. The excitement and hype surrounding the release was apparently too much for some in the audience as minds literally began to explode from the overload of pure awesomeness contained in the movie.

Screen Shot 2016-09-08 at 10.12.10 PM#thefourthphase

“I knew we were in trouble when Pat Bridges’ nose started to bleed in the first 5 minutes.” said SnowboardMag’s Jens Heig. “It was like that pie eating scene in ‘Stand by Me’; I noticed Red Gerard’s face start to melt shortly after seeing ‘The Eye’ bleed from his nose and it was all downhill from there. I’m just glad I brought a poncho.”

Screen Shot 2016-09-08 at 10.10.23 PMOlympians get prime seating. Photo by @btoddrichards

Attendees were warned by the Brain Farm crew that this film would be like nothing they’d ever seen before and to prepare for this event much in the same way one would prepare to see GWAR or Gallagher perform. “We knew it was gonna get messy, but we had no idea we would see this much carnage.” said Brain Farm’s Curt Morgan as he filmed the aftermath on a 4k GoPro for Travis’s next release: ‘When Minds Melt’ due out on Instagram sometime in 2024. “We set out to blow people’s minds and I think it’s safe to say we accomplished our goal.” Travis Rice was overheard saying to members of the media team from ESPN. Overall, the movie was received very positively despite the collateral damage. The only one with anything bad to say was a member of Shrine Theatre’s custodial staff who said, “You know, gum stuck to the floor is one thing… but do you know how hard it is to get neurons out of suede? These assholes come in here and think it’s funny to blow people’s minds and I gotta deal with the aftermath. I’m not getting paid enough for this bullshit. You don’t see me getting a movie deal goddamnit!”

On the way out we encountered a group of screaming groupies. It turned out they thought they were at the Emerica Made Chapter 2 Premiere. We sent them over to Vista Theater to find Andrew Reynolds.

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