Vail Resorts Eyes Up Park Place and Boardwalk after Whistler Acquisition

gondolajail

After last week’s purchase of Whistler Blackcomb, Vail Resorts CEO, Rob Katz, announced today that Vail will be looking to add the acclaimed Park Place and Boardwalk properties to their already impressive dossier of holdings which uniquely blend the Disney World feel with the overpriced, exclusive atmosphere of a country club. It’s a move Monopoly players of all ages are calling, “brilliant.”

Boardwalk LG outlines

“Our goal is simple” said Katz. “We want to create as much homogeneity in the resort world as possible. We know our clients expect to be able to find the same $17 cheeseburger at all of our resorts, and they understand that everything comes at a premium at the Vail resorts.” “We understand our clients are not big fans of diversity (unless it’s the cheap hired help) and are more comfortable when everything is the same. It’s why Denny’s and Outback Steakhouse are so successful.” Katz continued. The move comes after a series of recent resort property acquisitions which have expanded operations beyond their holdings in Colorado to include: Park City, UT, Deer Valley, UT, Heavenly, CA, Kirkwood, CA, Northstar, CA, and several other locations in the midwest including Afton Alps, MN and Brighton, MI.

$17 cheeseburger

With a solid understanding of the rules of Monopoly, Vail resorts has attempted to acquire a majority share in any given state’s resort market. “That way we can charge you double!” Katz grinned. “We want everywhere you go to be owned by Vail!” said Katz as he drove off in a pewter sports coupe waiving his top hat and laughing.

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Related, Yobeat reviewed Snowboard Monopoly a few years back. 

  • fuck

    who gives a fuck. I bet whoever wrote this article has never even been to Whistler. This mountain is already run by greedy corporate fuck faces and vail buying it ain’t gonna change a thing. If anything we should be hyped you can use the epic pass at even more places around the globe. Fuck yobeat and their bullshit bullshit articles

    • The truf

      Whistler has been dead for ages. Also fuck Aussies they make it a horrible place

      • SMAN

        another dumbshit

        • Racist country

          found the Aussie OI OI OI

    • SMAN

      yea.. I am sure whoever wrote it has not ever been to Whistler, or even snowboarded for that matter. I bet they play tennis. Bullshit fuck faces.

  • youthofAMERICA

    it will be $189 / day ticket … but yea the epic pass is cool if u can get away and hit 22 other overpriced resorts

  • “Every prick in Colorado, and now California” –

    enjoy your lift lines and $17burgers….oh, and don’t forget about the $20 parking and extra fees to cut lift lines.

  • AK

    the accompanying graphics are top notch

  • Mr Lunch-Meal

    Born and raised in Whis, im not too stoked on the change in managent, local opinons’ pretty mixed but I just don’t see how they can’t not fuck this shit up.

  • ass-man

    by em all THEN U GET TO CHARGE WHAT EVER U WANT ….RIGHT ?

  • DOIT-DOIT-DOIT-DOIT

    Vail please by SNOWBASIN , UTAH …..then we can for once have a lagit park …..

    • (S)Ep(t)ic Pass

      Stupid-ass, they’ve ruined the canyons by combining it with shitty park city (which is like the Gap, it’s so generic).

      This is why I left Colorado twenty-plus years ago to escape their wallet clenching.

      FUCK VAIL and their $30 (or more) a-day parking fees.

  • Cousin Eddie

    Sounds like you guys should buy a van. Me too.

  • BASIN-HARD-CORE

    true ….if a resort is to stupid to get it right and the park has 3 people in it on a good day ,, even though they have a 1 million dollar park budget ,,,just leave / travel !

  • Fuck Alta

    Someone should just buy Alta and make it snowboards only

  • TROOF

    THE INFAMOUS O.G. WINDLIP QUARTERPIPE SESSIONS KINDA RULED.

  • DENNIS

    fuck Alta ….. old skiers . lowest form of life on earth …

    • Right next to Vail’s management….

  • Me

    Everyone acts like vail are the greedy fuckers messing up the snowboard industry. They offer prices to mountains and those mountains sell. The management of whistler clearly didnt give a shit

  • TRUTH

    by SNOWBASIN ! NOW !

  • Hey dip shit from Ogden!

    Vail tried to copyright “Park City”, as in the fucking name of town stating they only wanted to protect them.

    What the fuck are you protecting us from? More like sinking your yellowed-teeth into shitty t-shirt merchandise, etc.

    Whoever is stating they want the ‘basin to be bough by Vail is a blind cunt. You KNOW NOTHING-fear the machine, little boy.

  • 20-20,CUT

    VAIL by SNOWBASIN / UTAH …so we can say by-by to TIM EASTLEY ,, GAYEST park manager in NORTH AMERICA ….