Site Check: Homeschool Outerwear

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Homeschool Outerwear. Chris Roach does not look pleased about winning that Legend Award. But I mean really who would appreciate being reminded that they’ve been riding longer than most of their teammates have been alive. Getting old sucks.

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There’s plenty of brands that try and make whatever’s cool, but for gear nerds like myself we only get a jacket or two from Burton, Volcom, or others, otherwise we’re stuck with some monstrosity from The North Face. But Homeschool really focuses on their tech first and foremost, even their “lower level” stuff is better equipped than most brands’ middle of the road stuff. But that doesn’t mean everything is straight forward – instead of just saying “this is the good stuff” and “this is the okay stuff,” you have to choose one of two photoshoped pictures, aided only by completely unhelpful paragraphs underneath. It’s not the easiest riddle to solve, luckily there’s little in the form of real consequence if you guess wrong.

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Once you’re in you can pick what you’re looking for piece by piece, or you can go with one of the pre-picked kits. Which is nice and all if you’re that kid who’s mom lays your clothes out the night before. But do people really buy full head-to-toe set ups at once? Am I the oddball for just replacing one piece at a time as needed?

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Not a ton to talk about here, but I do want to call out that last name on the list. Either “Zeppelin Zeerip” isn’t his real name, or his parents were among the most hippie people in all of the West Coast. I don’t care if his folks were from Maine, there’s no way that name happens in a family that isn’t 100% about drum circles and patchouli. Seriously though Zep, if you ever want to bitch about what a shithole South Florida is, get at me.

Now there’s nothing bad about this website. It isn’t exactly hard to solve the Labyrinth riddle to get to the goods, and I genuinely appreciate the goods they’re putting out there. It’s a little disappointing that they only make men’s gear, because as starved as I am for solid tech from core brands women are embarrassingly underserved. But I get that would be a big investment with very little return for a brand this size. So there’s nothing wrong but there’s nothing making it great. Other sites have zombie strippers, 80’s video games, or genuinely compelling programs. So there’s no reason to be ashamed of a 53, but there is a lot of work to be done if they want to catch the leaders.

Check the site yourself at

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. CAPiTA 78
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Homeschool 53
11. Burton 50
12. Technine 45
Academy Snowboards DNF
4 replies
    • admin
      admin says:

      Because websites keep coming out! It’s like it’s new website season or something. Why are you still clicking on them and complaining?

  1. LizardTail
    LizardTail says:

    I’m sure their outerwear looks decent when you put it on, but damn bud, thats some awful web layout imagery.

  2. Lollers
    Lollers says:

    150 for a flannel with a little bit of fluff in it? Do they really NEED to mark shit up that much to make money???

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