Site Check: Burton 15/16


Burton Snowboards. Lifts haven’t even started turning and we’ve already given them a seasons-full of our attention. But let’s give them just a little bit more.

durable goods

The “Durable Goods” thing has caught some flack for being a sign Burton has lost it, but I don’t really agree. Is the name pretentious bullshit, and exactly what you’d expect from a brand that is carried at The Pottery Barn? Yes. But swallow your bile for a minute it isn’t that different from a lot of companies (snowboarding and otherwise) hopping on the post-ironic wave of semi-sincerity. They want you to think of this not as just fashion, but fashion that makes it look like you don’t care about fashion. The same way denim jackets and Birkenstocks are suddenly trendy. It may be a stupid trend we’ll all be over in a few years, but so is almost everything else in snowboarding. It doesn’t make sense to pick on just Burton for that.


And whatever you think about a partnership with Disney (Frozen for girls, old-school Marvel Comics for boys), you have to respect Burton’s kid’s program. Making stuff that little ankle biters will get excited about, and therefore making them excited about snowboarding, is God’s work. Getting someone else to start snowboarding is a big ask, but making it so little groms don’t have to ride shit from WalMart makes it a whole lot more likely they’ll enjoy themselves and keep with it as they grow up.

Sga5geh - Imgur
But that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and roses. First off- Burton has to be the laziest company in snowboarding when it comes to naming. If someone says they are picking up a “Burton Custom,” they could be talking about any one of eight different snowboards. And a binding! On one hand it is one of the more venerable names in snowboarding, on the other hand if it’s worth making as a different board shouldn’t it be worth giving it a different name? I’ll give them a pass on the Smalls and Split, but if they really are all that similar, what is the point of paying an extra stack for the Custom Mystery? Not to get too philosophical here, but is the Custom Flying V really the same board if the benditure is different?


Ahhh The Kit. Recently described by Donna Carpenter herself as “drug paraphernalia,” someone’s dad is always getting mad when they find out about this. But it’s kind of a symptom of the problem a lot of people have with Burton. It’s cool and all that they aren’t trying to take the “traditional family values” path and watering down their image just to get Disney to work with them, but is this really doing anything for snowboarding? On one hand we don’t need help convincing everyone we’re all a bunch of lazy stoners, and on the other hand I’m not sure the lazy stoners are looking to spend $25 (+S&H) on an Altoids tin.


The line between Analog and Burton is getting even more blurred. They appear in the primary listings on Burton’s website, and just forwards you to a sub-page on Which begs the question- why did they keep Analog around? There is very little setting them apart from Burton stylistically anymore, and if it’s all on one website you can’t even pretend it extends your reach anywhere.

outixxs - Imgur (1)

Now this is exactly the kind of collaboration that I hate. After just getting on board with the clickity-clack of Boa last year, Burton has decided to ditch the braided steel lines that the entire rest of the industry uses, and go with the collaboration no one was waiting for – New England Ropes. I haven’t had these on my feet personally, but I just don’t see what the desired effect is here? I don’t imagine performance will be significantly affected, and if there are any weight savings they’re likely so small it doesn’t really matter. So why do this? New England Rope is a fine and respected company, but their connection to snowboarding, or even footwear, is not exactly apparent.

Burton is a big deal, the contributions Jake made are a major part of why snowboarding is where it is today. The company positions itself as a leader and for better or for worse they are the face of snowboarding to a lot of people on the outside looking in. But part of being a leader is being in front of everyone else, maybe not literally, but at least in ideas. And it doesn’t seem like Burton has ideas anymore; the collaborations are little more than brand-synergy exercises, the technology is more often than not about market share rather than product improvement, and the team has nearly as many “image” riders as it does people who are actually still progressing the sport. And the site reflects this slouch to mediocrity, here is nothing new, nothing interesting, nothing to make me really stand up and take notice. An average site gets an average score so Burton goes on the board with 50 points, our current lowest score.

Check the site for yourself –

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Lobster Snowboards 87
2. Bataleon 86
3. Endeavor 74
4. Rome SDS 72
5. Arbor Collective 71
6. Holden 62
7. Gnu Snowboards 57
8. Burton 50


  • Mackdawg

    Not sure if anyone noticed, but in the first “burton presents” that dropped today, the Dacyshyn’s names appeared in the credits of the edit. Hmmmmmmm…. Never noticed that in anything prior to the fiasco of this summer, seems like a subtle middle finger to all the backlash and hate they were hit with this summer… Or maybe I’m wrong.

    • Dackmawg

      They just wanna pretend that the Dacshyns are doing something beyond coke

    • upstatemike.

      I mean, don’t you always put the SVP of Marketing before the filmers and riders in a snowboard video?? She must have played a huge part in the video…i think there’s footy of her shoveling, running the winch, and setting up shots in there somewhere.

      • upstatemike.

        also, he had to make sure sure his ass (literally) was in the opening. i wonder how long it took him to decide which denim vest to wear for it.

    • HONDO

      They have always been there

    • Rawwwwssss

      Yeah, I fucking vomited in my mouth when I saw that. I mean shit, I’ve never seen Jake’s name in the credits like I did with Greg D. and his beat-ass-wife—Jake was the O.G. that fucking rode, designed and sold the snowboards!

  • slashbash

    New England Ropes connection to snowboarding = being used for Burton speedzone since the beginning. It stretches so it’s more durable and it’s easier to repair than traditional Boa cables

    • Jim O’Leary

      Disclaimer: I still haven’t had these on my feet personally, so it’s still just speculation at this point.

      BUT. How does stretch make it more durable? The friction between fibers would make it weaker over time, and eventually the stretch will wear out, which means regular replacement if you want a consistent feel.

      Also, how would this make repair easier? Re-threading the steel lines are pretty simple if you have the pattern right, while I can’t see pushing NE Rope through a lace hole being “easier”.

      • Keith Duck

        BOA is the new click-in

      • .

        Elastic rope does not make it more durable. In reality adding elasticity to the rope only gives it another property that is bound to fail over time, thus actually making it less durable if all other variables are the same.

        I don’t see how repair would be an easier also.

        Either way, boa’s are lame.

    • upstatemike.

      This is true. They’ve been using New England Ropes for a long time now. Really good shit.

  • I think that 50 score was even a bit generous…it’s obviously easy to hack on Burton, especially lately, but I found the site very uninspiring and a sign of how far and how fast they are falling.

    Anybody taking bets on when the sale goes down and for how much-

    I’ll start the bidding at 2016 Q3 for $250M to VF.

    • The rumor mill at OR was that “The Book Is Out” and they are officially being shopped. Considering how far and fast they are dropping I’ll put a vote in at 2017 Q1 for $310M. Jake and Donna want out and their Sons can’t take over…

      • I want in

        2016 Q4 for $210M. Could have been $350M+ if sold in 2014.

        • TROOF


          • TROOF


          • TROOF


          • TROOF


          • TROOF


          • TROOF


          • TROOF


        • Duh duh


    • Jim O’Leary

      My thinking on the score was that is the middle. The site is boring, uninteresting, and predictable. But it wasn’t BAD. A site has to be BAD to go lower than a 50.

      More on that soon.

    • 2032 Q69 420 bucks and a bottle of wine

  • lol

    Burton dabber is too funny

    • RaRa

      Dabber? Are you talking about the 420 kit?

  • Max

    Please don’t tell me someone gets paid to write this dribble? This has got to be the most tragic attempt at journalism ever encountered.

  • Dan

    Does anyone remember when the Burton website had eye in the middle and it would follow your mouse? Idk why kind of lame but I thought it was the coolest thing.

    • Jim O’Leary

      I goofed with that thing for a good five minutes every time I was on their site last season.

      • Dan

        Yea I tried adding fun cookies on that would encourage that, but it doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. Let me know if you have any cool ideas around that.

  • Rick

    I think the main problem that they have, is that other companies (except for their bindings) have caught up to them (Boards, outerwear, etc). But they still price everything to the average rider like they are the only company out there. You’re out of touch when you charge $90.00 for a Burton hoodie in your “summer” collection.