The NewShow: 8/12/15

This Week’s Episode

KNOW BUDDY KNOWS MY SORROW

SUICIDE WATCH

COC TOO HARD

(BRAD) SHAW BANG

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH – MOTOR BIKES

UNDRESSING THE TRUTH?

  • Slermy HJ

    I’d say first, but damn yo, I’m the only one in this bitch

  • Becks

    Climate change is melting the glacier in our backyard. So, I peed on your cookie.

  • neeko

    1 866 we are cats .com was hilarious

    • plz

      Forest plz start a company and use 1 866 we are cats .com as a promo tool just to shit on bianca chandon

  • Siskel & Ebert

    “nobody” jokes were on point. Two thumbs up.

  • thebigdirty

    realest new show yet. fuck burton. fuck global warming. #savethesnow and bradshaw is completely batshit insane ridiculous #thedirtyog \m/

  • MotherNature

    Dear HCSC, thank you for causing irreversible damage to the snowfield so you could have one more session and make a bunch of money off of the 150 rich kids who wanted to see Scott Stevens. You guys are fucking dicks.

  • 1 800 talk

    Jackson Mane don’t do it! Young white kids look up to you!

  • If I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a summit – I would buy you a summitAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsI’d buy you a photo op for your summit – maybe a nice landscape or a waterfrontAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a steamboat – a nice old fixer-upperAnd if I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolarsI’d build a gazebo in our yardIf I had a billion dlolarsYou could help, it wouldn’t be that hardIf I had a billion dlolars Maybe we could put like a $200,000 toilet in there somewhere.If I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a Muskoka lake – but not a real Muskoka lake, that’s cruelAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d shut down a city – yep, like a Toronto or a HuntsvilleAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you Lyin’ Bryan’s remains – ooh, all them crazy jowel bonesAnd if I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolarsWe wouldn’t have to walk to the storeIf I had a billion dlolarsWe’d take a limousine ’cause it costs moreIf I had a billion dlolarsWe wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner[Ed note: really, what would you change in that verse? It’s perfect as is.]If I had a billion dlolars – If I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a sidewalk – but not a real sidewalk going somewhere, that’s cruelAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you some vid – a Sony or a JumboIf I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a monkey I have so many monkeys to spareIf I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolars, if I had a billion dlolarsIf I had a billion dlolars, if I had a billion dlolarsIf I had a billion dlolars left, we’d be rich.