Park City to Raise Ticket Prices to $850 per day for 2015

scotty

Scotty Arnold, former Park City local?

On Septmeber 9th, 2015, a judge, (who probably would have gotten to it sooner if he wasn’t so busy with listening to skiers and snowboarders argue about the basic human right to ski and snowboard) told PCMR it would have to pay $17.5 million if it wanted to operate this season.  In the first reasonable move since its battle with Talisker began some three years ago, PCMR paid up almost immediately.

This news comes as a releif to the Park City locals, who use the nearly $185 million generated by the resort and tourism to pay their bills. Of course, that money has to come from somewhere, so shortly after the check cleared, our sources tell us Park City decided to raised its ticket prices to $850 per day.  The call came down directly from Powdr corp CEO John Cumming, who cited the fact that everyone in the world who still skis must be at least as rich as he is so no one would even notice the extra $789. “I wipe my ass with $789,” he said.

As for the future of Park City Mountain Resort, Yobeat analyists predict that prices will continue to rise and likely reach the $1000 per day mark by 2018.  In response to the news, long-time Park City local snowboarder Scotty “S-C-O-Dubs” has announced that he will be switching the skiing in order visit the much more affordable Deer Valley Resort up the street. “It’s closer to my house anyway, dude.”

 

 

  • Middle class

    Is this a joke

  • jwang

    Was this taken from The Onion?

  • bad satire is….bad…

  • Trillbo Swaggins

    This entire post could have summed up in a mediocre one-line joke…

  • Justin’s Bong

    I know all the summer edits are done, and edits wont be coming out till early winter. But is this seriously worth posting…

  • JP Walker

    No guys, this is 100% serious!

  • wow

    just don’t buy food now and you’ll be spending about the same amount of money

  • DownFlatDown

    Hey Brooke, looks like the clickbait headlines are working!

  • Shredi

    Fucking gold

  • Minnesota

    I bought two season passes for cheaper than that

  • Chicken clit

    789$ to wipe my ass… You think that’s 7 100’s, 4 20’s (lol 420) and 9 1’s?

  • chicken lover

    this is dumb eat shit

  • hmm

    made my day

  • So long crusty butthole snowboarders

  • cro

    For as much as you hate on the angry snowboarder this sure looks a lot like one of his mock press releases, only horribly written and not really that funny.