Garrett McKenzie’s Revenge

Have you ever heard of Garrett McKenzie? Well, neither had we. That is, until Arvan over at decided to air him out for a few facebook comments. Turns out he’s one of the up-and-coming Minnesota riders featured in the edit above, and also a member of the Smokin Am team, whatever that means. It all started when Garrett here responded to this status from Jerome Kuntz’s personal Facebook community about his pants, and asked why can’t we all just get along?

The comments go downhill fast as Angry tries to “drop knowledge” on Garrett on facebook, saying things such as “Do you understand what a marketing tool is? Because that’s what that edit is. You are nothing more than a means for Smokin to push a product, sure you can ride a snowboard on some slushy snow and hit some park features. WOO HOO let me just get down on my knees and start slurping on your dick.”

Now Arvan is enterprising and he and I both know, nothing gets the clicks like pointless Internet arguments, and he saw a great opportunity there. Rather than just letting the argument play out and die on Facebook like it should have, he decided to put Garrett on blast on his blog.


Now normally I would disregard such banal arguments in hopes ignoring Arvan will make him go away, but after seven years of this approach, the public is demanding that Angry be put in his place. So, Arvan, here’s the deal:

If you’d like to attack a 17-year-old who is actually trying to do something with snowboarding and every bit as dedicated to it as you – just because of his pants, well, you’re the one who looks like an idiot. Although, I suppose you’re used to that by now, as in the words so Tim Zimmerman, the most miserable, inconsequential and irrelevant opinion on the Internet. Oh sorry, now I’m just being mean. 

However, don’t think we didn’t hear about this:

Screen Shot 2014-08-05 at 12.52.32 PM


Sadly, all we can do is assure the general public, or more specifically, the people Angry has been terrorizing in Colorado, that he doesn’t matter in “the industry.” We do hope for his sake that he did find a sugar daddy/benefactor with Texas Republican oil money. Money isn’t going to make your site better, bro.  Sognar, on the other hand, is a touring camp that has built a great, positive community, which I’m pretty sure is what everyone is saying needs to happen to “save snowboarding.” What, what are we saving snowboarding for again?

God, summer sucks.

60 replies
    • cherrypopper
      cherrypopper says:

      agreed. He can be a loser sometimes but I respect him. This shit just blew right up in MN. shits funny

  1. jimmy carter
    jimmy carter says:

    First off, fuck that smarmy, angry piece of shit. Dude wants to talk down to real snowboarders? Pfff. He’s the one who needs to suck a big back of dicks. Delicious dicks for angrysnowboader! Get over people’s pants, dude.

    Best thing you’ve written all summer, Brooke!

  2. Happy Snowboarder
    Happy Snowboarder says:

    Avran, It really sucks that you are getting this kid more publicity than he deserves! I understand that he is a joke but in a way you helped him out. You might as well have contacted Smokin directly and told them they are supporting a little cocky kid and maybe that would have been more effective. Anyways the kid isn’t even on Smokin’s website.

  3. Mike
    Mike says:

    Fuck you angryboarder! Fuck you Avran! God I’ve felt this way for so long about you. All you are is angry because you fucking suck! Look up Avran! Avran who!? Exactly no one knows him besides his stupid website. Whys he so angry? Cause other people are blowing up around him and he never did? Ok cool had his chance and apparently blew it

  4. yobeatmymeat
    yobeatmymeat says:

    Garret is the Justin Bieber of Snowboarding, every guy with common sense hates him and every girl under the age of 15 loves him.

  5. JP Walker
    JP Walker says:

    Usually, Angry makes fun of dumb “snowboarding” companies and it’s pretty funny, but once you hate on snowboarders because of the trends that they like is straight up rude!

  6. Sucks
    Sucks says:

    Everyone sucks.
    Garrett sucks for being a shitty human.
    Avran sucks for being an insecure idiot.
    Brooke sucks for getting unnecessarily involved in a childish argument.

    Snowboarding sucks.

  7. basshole
    basshole says:

    read the comments. both dudes are both annoying as shit and should have shut up about 50 comments ago, but i’m pretty sure i hate that garrett kid more.

  8. shumonkey
    shumonkey says:

    Sweet, a throw-down between Brooke and Avran over some 15 year-old’s pants. This reminds me of a riddle I came across earlier today, let’s see, it went something like this:

    “How are the special Olympics and arguing on the Internet the same? Even if you win, you’re still retarded.”

    Now, if only I could remember who said that….

  9. SOGAY
    SOGAY says:

    Pat Milbery has all these little kids thinking they are really good and helping them get sponsored.Its so funny! Milbs should still be a regional rider and have never made it to where he is today…well I guess these days he is just a coach so….Before you listen to some old guy that isn’t that good get your facts straight kid!

  10. Dickpringle
    Dickpringle says:

    Angry snowboarder has been the biggest shit pile since forever. That Avran dude is a woman beatin kook. Dude is all butt hurt in life. Colorado’s finest shit pile. With that said why does an adult care about some kids snowboarding pants so much. Avran if you read this go fuck yourself, you cocksuckin coward and get the hell out of snowboarding.

  11. Avran Theangrysnowboarder
    Avran Theangrysnowboarder says:

    Hey my name is avran and I beat women as well as beat off to young boys in the snowboard gear. Please check out my really cool blog because it has a really cool name.

  12. kucklebabys
    kucklebabys says:

    Garret McKenzie, Jerome Cuntz, and Pat Milberry all in one hate filled comment. thats a midwest Trifecta of most hated and biggest kooks in the game!

    your all stupid. all of you. and now yobeat is stupid for letting that cocky idiot on your site

    Garret should have been a knuckle baby.

  13. Filmerd
    Filmerd says:

    Brandon Reis rolled his pants up back in the day and look where that got him…. Everyone really needs to shut the fuck up

    • basshole
      basshole says:

      i’m pretty sure being able to throw down at equally high levels on park jumps and street rails is what got him where he is today, not his stupid-ass pants

  14. Brooke why?
    Brooke why? says:

    Brooke why? Why stick up for some little Milboner cock sandwich that no body likes? He is so insignificant in the industry. Then you try and roast Avran? Ha! Ha! You could be the dumbest cult leader ever. Worse than Milboner himself. Yobeat just got checked off my list, as if it was ever even on my list to begin with.

    • Kook why?
      Kook why? says:

      Kook why? Why do you post pointless comments that nobody likes? You are so insignificant on this page. And then you try to roast Brooke? Ha! Ha! You could be the dumbest motherfucker on yobeat. Worse than kc kyle himself. And why the fuck do you have a list you stupid kook

  15. Garret Mackenie isn't circumsized
    Garret Mackenie isn't circumsized says:

    I agree that style arguments are retarded but anyone who has ever had the displeasure of meeting the midwest’s biggest fuck boy can’t even complain about the entire internet ganging up on Garret… Fuck that kid. Also the comment about Millberry being like a dad to Garret is nightmare fuel… Casey Anthony would make a better parent than that goon

  16. Merlin
    Merlin says:

    I like tried to read all of this and just gave up because I really don’t give a fuck about Garrett Mackenzie or the dude that was making fun of him

  17. Franks Chille Dogs
    Franks Chille Dogs says:

    i think the avran guy isn’t actually pissed off at garrets pants or whatever, i think he just has a deep hatred for Garret Mackenzie. Whatever, just snowboard, its chill.

  18. Petey Pablo's pecker
    Petey Pablo's pecker says:

    Who is this kid and why do we care and more importantly wtf is angry snowboarder

    • algore
      algore says:

      Watching this thing play out on facebook in real time I kept thinking:

      – Who is garrett mackenzie?!
      – What is angry snowboarder?!?
      – Arvan is a strange name, who is he?!

      Most importantly

      – Why is this adult publicly throwing a temper tantrum and berating a child???

  19. I kind of disagree
    I kind of disagree says:

    Wasn’t Brookes claim to fame basically ripping kids apart on the internet?

    I thought that was the whole point of this site.

  20. scorpion
    scorpion says:

    Brooke, id say it was a baaaad decision picking a side. Respect for garrett and the other guy dropped HARSHLY after all that. (not that that either of them were respected highly at all before) Why did you do that? Ooooof…. Now you’re just as big as a bitch as those two little dringle berries.

  21. what
    what says:

    I don’t know if this classifies as revenge. i think you fucked over garrett more than he already was..

  22. KC KYLE
    KC KYLE says:

    Literally have no idea what’s going on here, just saw this post had 30 comments and decided to attempt to figure this out. Didn’t happen, you are all looks for even knowing what this is.

  23. Silent observer
    Silent observer says:

    Garrett was a complete douche bag during his stay as a guest at Woodward at copper. He was talking mad shit about other riders there, calling snowboarding gay in front of young campers, just because he could not get a trick second try. He would snake everyone, and just overall was a horrible. Woodward defiantly dose not want a guest to show kids that snowboarding about talking shit and snaking in the park.

  24. algore
    algore says:

    From a completely neutral POV, this Arvan guy looks like a total horses ass. Garrett might snake kids at camp and talk shit, but he’s a child and as such is afforded the benefit of the doubt.

    An adult like this “Arvan” guy should know better than to be publicly throwing a temper tantrum. The garrett kid seemed to simply be defending himself.

    Also not sure how all the hate on Pat M fits in… Sure he’s not the best rider, or even in their league- but he’s having fun with his brand and outlook. Seems to be enjoying some success doing his thing. What’s the problem?

    • basshole
      basshole says:

      apparently he’s 17. that’s not a child. red gerard is a child, and also a decent human being. no excuses for being a fucking dick

      • algore
        algore says:

        He has 1 to 4 more years of being a child in the eyes of the law.

        And hell, in retrospect I was still a child even at 24. Most young males are.

        I get your point, he’s no “kid” but he is an adolescent snowboarder. what do we expect?

        -Side note, I still have no idea who garrett mackenzie is nor I have I ever seen him ride on the internet or otherwise.

  25. Yobeatmymeat
    Yobeatmymeat says:

    Garret is that kind of guy that fucks your mom and your girlfriend then sets your board on fire.

  26. beefstickmcgee
    beefstickmcgee says:

    I’m not sure who is winning this battle anymore, or if anyone was supposed to win. Brooke by joining in on this mess, I’m certain you have done the opposite of what your article states. You gave Angry more views, didnt support Garret, and brought yourself and Yobeat to a pretty low level, possibly lower than Arvans level. Yobeat wasn’t really on a high level anyway…Good Job, 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!

  27. okey now.....
    okey now..... says:

    Garret is a fucking alcoholic women beating douche who doesnt deserve to be on smokin. He sandbagged the little kids skate comp at hcsc. He is overly aggressive and full of himself. Dakota has more style then Garret and should have beat him in peoples court.

  28. Sean B
    Sean B says:

    Did Avran really use the phrase “slurping your dick” when addressing a teenage boy? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in all 48 contiguous states. Get it together man.

  29. fuck that kid
    fuck that kid says:

    you should not post a “revenge” article if you have no idea how horrible the kids attitude and disrespect to other people in the snowboard community is.

  30. hmmm
    hmmm says:

    Avran should fuck off and stop caring about pants and who’s supporting garret. don’t know the kid too well, but he does fucking shred. Avran is an old dickhead that bitches about the industry and does nothing for it. Overall, this is a stupid fucking argument over something that shouldnt be a big deal

  31. Aston
    Aston says:

    Angry isn’t pissed about the snowpants, you kook motherfuckers, he’s pissed about the kid’s attitude. Which is totally legit, and you might even see it if ya stopped dickriding on some fuckin’ 15-year-old’s nuts for 30 seconds. FACT: G has every right to roll his snowpants. FACT: A has every right to call him out for it. If your hoo-ha hurts because someone doesn’t like your steez, do like all the fashion thots do and yell #COCOMADEMEDOIT from the top of the hill or whatever. The second you start telling Angry to “not call peeps out” because “they can do what they want” you’re telling him he CAN’T do what he wants. Not cool. He aint telling you not to roll your damned pants. You do what you want, and if your work is sick enough aint nobody gonna fucking care in the long run. And BTW anyone who gets ate up over having their fashion choices questioned probably shouldn’t fuck with questionable fashion choices. Shit aint for everybody, bitches. Logic must be like a blinding flash of obvious for some of you. The charitable response when someone tells you your pants are stupid, whether you’re 13 or 83, is a smile. Garrett needs to check his attitude. Angry is a likeable (for some) dick. Brooke is rad. Can’t we all just get along? FUCK!

  32. Seth
    Seth says:

    Heyy G mack got some moves. Anyone hatin needs to roll there pants up and be a real man. That edit was pretty larry tho… G Mack has a ring to it. Take it to the streets G Mack and shut these gearbies up

  33. There's a snake in my boot
    There's a snake in my boot says:

    The amount of comments calling out Garret should be giving you a clue that he deserves it.

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