How Not to Speak Snowboarder


There are so many websites this days, it can be hard to tell which ones are even worth making fun of, but this article the Global Post (apparently America’s World News Site) is so impressively wrong we figured, why not. With snowboarding pegged to be the must-see sport at the Olympics, someone decided they’d better decode snowboard slang for everyone.

Something rad is good, while a snowboarder who rips — rides very well — is likely to feel stoked after a good run.

On the other hand, if a competitor “bailed” (crashed or fell), he would probably consider that a wack, or even a “ghetto”.

Ahh, the dreaded “ghetto.”

Whether that’s something as convoluted as describing a bigger snowboarder who thinks he jumps very high but in reality doesn’t (schloby) or an acronym such as “bip” — a mix between the butt and hip — the opportunities are endless.


If you’re a “newbe” to the sport, it’s enough to make you feel “beige”.

Of course, no-one wants to be a “chumples” so it’s best not to flail or fudge but try to do something “hella” and hope the rest think you’re “dank”.

Read the whole glorious mess here.

  • yobeatmymeat

    The first paragraph of that almost made sense and then they just started putting sounds together and calling it “slang”

  • Trillbo Swaggins

    The “dank” one was actually pretty on point for snowboarders

  • that’s fucking wu-tang.

  • rurocker

    they forgot “chyll”

  • Some guy

    I bet like they interviewed an actual snowboarder and he just stated making shit up to make them look like like idiots.