FMK: Scott Stevens, Chris Grenier and Bode Merrill

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And we’re back with another exciting installment of Fuck, Marry, Kill, the game in which we select a threesome of riders and ask pro ‘boarders and industry types who they would, well, you know.

Desiree Melancon – Stevens is totally husband material, I hear Bode is well-endowed and Grenier would be way too weird, so he dies.

Cobra Dogs owner Cory Grove– Marry Bode, he’s already my heterosexual life partner. Fuck is hard and depends on the night. If i’m partying I’d fuck Grendys. If i wanted to do nice dinner and wine follower by cuddling it would be Scott, no question. I’d kill the other one at the same time as it’s already going to be a weird situation, so if I go, I go all out.

ESPN Snowboarding editor Melissa Larsen – Fuck Stevens, because he’s original and creatively inventive and imaginative, and, you know, chicks dig that. Not marrying any dude who can’t manhandle a big mountain and talk some serious shit. So Bode for the ring, obviously – also because he’s pro camber, and that’ll just always be hot, and ongoing hotness is what keeps marriages alive, right? Wouldn’t really want to kill Grenier, but it would cull the Utah rail herd, so his death would be useful I guess.

Peter Line– Bode-fuck, he looked pretty hot when he was dressed as a chick for my photo shoot a year ago.
Scott- marry, he’d be a sweetie pie and make me cookies
Grenier- kill, sorry Chris. I don’t have an option here. You just don’t cut it for me in the love department.

Preston Strout– Well, since they live in SLC, I’d marry all three of them.

Leanne Pelosi- Ok…disclaimer.. I don’t know ANY Of these guys so sorry if I offend any of them…  I would Marry Scott Stevens because he’s the king of everything. Love his style… Kill Bode Merill  and Fuck Chris Grenier.

Andrew Brewer: Probably kill Grenier. Marry Bode cause he probably has the most money and then bang Scott, just cause that’s the last option.

Oliver Dixon-Cider: I can’t even really answer this because it’s my dream four-way. My official answer is fuck all at the same time.

Nick Lipton – I don’t get a girl option? Hmm, ok. Fuck Stevens cause he seems the softest, marry Bode cause he’s got money and kill Chris because I feel fucking him would be the most awkward. Sorry dude, no hard feelings, literally.

Mikey Leblanc – Kill Bode because he’s already good at and achieved everything he needs in life, and now he’s just bored, so let’s put him outta his misery.  I’d marry Scott Stevens because he’s so out there we’d never have to hang out, and he’s nice. And fuck Grendys because he’s someone you’d fuck I guess… man that’d be a wild ride, shotguns and golf cart fuckin’, alotta beer, wow, blowing my mind thinking about that.

21 replies
  1. Al Gore
    Al Gore says:

    My favorite snowboarders should be nominated for this gameshawn palmer, kier dillon yale casino!

    Who would you guys choose for this?

  2. Ollie Dixon-Cider
    Ollie Dixon-Cider says:

    I feel like I cheated on this one so I decided to revise my response just slightly.

    Bang all three at the same time. Kill whoever cums last, marry whoever cums first.

    This creates a tricky scenario for them. Odds are, none of them want to marry me so the goal would be to try and be the one who cums second. So basically they would all have to try and be as close to cumming as possible for as long as they can so if someone slips up and goes first they can be right there, about to cum. Which will create a cum frenzy after the first person spills because they will be trying desperately to not be last. So it creates a sort of chain cum, which I think is generally accepted as the ideal result of group sex.

  3. Nose
    Nose says:

    Marry – Grenier, he seems like the most solid of the three loose cannons. Plus he and I would have fun on his moto bikes, quads and all the other shit he does.
    Fuck – Stevens. No questions with this either. The way he over thinks everything, I’d hog tie his ass, stuff his mouth with a skate wheel and let him have it while listening to him mumble something or other.
    Kill – Bode, cause he took my fuck buddy Stevens one foot shit to the next level. So i’m gonna kill his ass all Whitey Bulger style, and give my fuck buddy the one foot king crown back.
    Now do this shit with some chicks so I stop feeling all queer about typing in to these questions while wearing my wifes panties, would ya?

  4. Country Boy
    Country Boy says:

    I’d marry bode. get a bunch of life insurance on his ass cause he did the X games thing and that makes money. then I’d kill Bode and collect the money from his life insurance. I’d fuck scott and chris.

  5. Noice
    Noice says:

    Stevens would be the easiest kill, and hardest fuck. You’d go up to him and be like “wassup”, then pull that all out Italian mafia surprise hit with some baseball bats, casino style. Grendys is smaller than me, so a quicky rape should be in order… marry bode, divorce, take half.

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