The Lifty Will Revolutionize Snowboarding

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Meet Alex and Andrew, founders of the revolutionary new product, the Lifty! The Lifty is the product you’ve never even sort of wanted to buy in your entire life. How do we know? Because this gadget has been invented more times than we can count. And every time, it’s been last seen on the shelves of SIA.

But Alex and Andrew just wrapped up their MBAs, watched a bunch of episodes of Shark Tank, read an article on Forbes.com about crowd sourcing, and said, hey bro, you know what sucks? When you have to buy a new pair of boots more than every 5 years, which I read is the exact amount of time they’re designed to last for for an “average boarder,” and they start to get worn out!

In an effort to make their first million they thought of this this nifty product that would not only make them rich, but also make their five days of boarding a year that much more pleasurable. So they spent months developing prototypes and finally are ready to ask for your money (sadly the only money they’ll ever make off these things) so that they can bring this puppy to market.

While a simple google search would have shown them people have already thought of this (and since it doesn’t exist, lets just assume it didn’t work), we took it a step further with some of our own Market research. When asked if he would use a Liftee, one of our friends, a long-time snowboarder, male, aged 18-24 replied, “I have wished my board wasn’t so heavy on the chairlift, but I would never buy it.” He continued, “If someone gave it to me i would probably try it, but then I would get to the top and feel like a fag because it didn’t make any difference at all. And then I would be bummed.”

Hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but even with your amazing knowledge of business, this one ain’t gonna work. Haven’t you heard, snowboarding is shrinking? But, if you want to kick them some cash, their indiegogo campaign is here.

54 replies
  1. .......
    ....... says:

    Riding for over 10 years…. HOLY SHIT. This guy is an OG, he must know everything. Take my money.

  2. haters
    haters says:

    Sure it’s lame but these guys are actually making a move on a product idea.

    Old people in resort towns will probably eat that up.

  3. Pirate
    Pirate says:

    Actually, in Europe we can take the chairlift fully strapped, and we have a support for the board linked to the security bar. Fuck this shit.

  4. Schleg! Likes Montana
    Schleg! Likes Montana says:

    I actually hope this idea makes them some money so they can keep snowboarding. If this gets them a decent living standard and the ability to consistently make time to shred, more power to em.

    I think the product is stupid, unnecessary and impractical, but middle-aged suburbanites are gonna eat this shit up. Expect this as a stocking stuffer from your out of touch aunt.

  5. JermIsMyHomeboy
    JermIsMyHomeboy says:

    “When asked if he would use a Liftee, one of our friends, a long-time snowboarder, male, aged 18-24 replied, “I have wished my board wasn’t so heavy on the chairlift, but I would never buy it.” He continued, “If someone gave it to me i would probably try it, but then I would get to the top and feel like a fag because it didn’t make any difference at all. And then I would be bummed.”

    And by “friend” I am guessing you mean “some dude on reddit”.

  6. CAPiTA
    CAPiTA says:

    Dear Liftee,

    Expect a law suit for placing one of our boards in your product video. We do not support Kook brands and do not want our image tainted.

    Sincerely,
    CAPiTA

  7. Please...
    Please... says:

    Dear America,

    just get some new lifts so that we can get over with this shit…

    Sincerely, Europe

  8. Dick Cheese
    Dick Cheese says:

    You are biting into my boot sales fucker. but you also created a problem thats a non problem. how bout rest your wimpy ass sore leg on the heelcup of the binding? and guess what, thats FREE and NOT kooky.

  9. Dylan
    Dylan says:

    You guys got to be kidding me. Your the people we make fun of all day on the hill!! definition of kooks!! please, when riding with the lift, stay off all park runs and always merge to the right when no-lifty users are proceeding. frat kids.

  10. joe
    joe says:

    I’d probably try this out if I wasn’t so sure it would make me fall getting off the lift.

  11. Sorry your mountain sucks.
    Sorry your mountain sucks. says:

    I never ran into this problem until I went outside of Oregon. All high speed quads have a safety bar with a place to rest your snowboard. Yes your mountain has shitty fixed grip quads, doubles etc.
    While this is a valid complaint since moving away from mega resorts with Trams, Gondolas and sixpack quads with safety bars I just strap in on the lift. Or if I’m alone I’ll lay down on the chair and let my heelcup sit on the back of the chair. Try it sometime, just don’t fall asleep.
    Good luck with your CAPiTA lawsuit. Those Seattlites are mean, who sues Gigi? Those guys.

  12. PU$$IE$
    PU$$IE$ says:

    Ow my leg hurts from sitting on the chairlift, it ruins my day. get off your period. Real shredder’s legs hurt from blasting airs and slashing pow from first chair to last call. grow a pair or go skiing.

  13. Europe
    Europe says:

    Why not use the safety bar and put your board on the ski support thingy? Its how the rest of the world does it just saying..
    / Sincerely Europe

  14. Murcia
    Murcia says:

    Fuck Europeans, Fuck people who use the safety bar, fuck this stupid ass idea. That is all

  15. Auzzie Bob
    Auzzie Bob says:

    Why don’t you invent slip on dildos for t-bars. Then you can go snowboarding and have something else in your ass besides your buddy the “engineer’s” dick

  16. TaLLtired
    TaLLtired says:

    Guess I missed that part of the snowboard revolution here it the USA. Thats OK.. europe can have this waste of time. Also, the logo is about the most un-original for any product I’ve ever seen… that is all

  17. Bert LaMar
    Bert LaMar says:

    you realize you could make the same shit by taking an extra shoelace tying it onto your rear boot lace and then tying it on to a part of your (rear) binding/baseplate for ¢15. But nobody does that… because you’d look like a fucking idiot.

    and i thought this was a video about a chick holding a thong. yay, me.

  18. upstatemike.
    upstatemike. says:

    i can’t figure this out…it still puts all of the same pressure and weight on your foot that is holding the board…just in a way more akward place. And how many retards will trip themselves because they can’t unhook it in time?? I’LL TAKE 30 PLEASE.

  19. upstatemike.
    upstatemike. says:

    Guys, i got a really good idea, let’s make logo look like a mountain, NO ONE has done that before!!

    Now that’s what i call getting lifted!!

  20. Hambone
    Hambone says:

    I was once told boots are only made to last 35 days or some shit. So what life of the boot am i extending..

    Oh, and why do you lace you boots up for all day when you clearly could NOT go all day if you life depended on it….

  21. they are the best if...
    they are the best if... says:

    They are not serious.

    I have never heard of those guys before, maybe they just love snowboarding and are making a joke of themselves, and going to keep posting more and more ridiculous that we would talk and talk and talk about it, and every any independant snowboarder retailer or agent, will get to see that yes, they will be at sia, in the beginning of the first hall, everybody will see them, and they will actually be a creative agency who just wanted to get a name in the snowboarding industry, that it was just a joke, that they thought it was gay, but they still got videos that you watched, you hated on, shared it on facebook, and everybody talked those two guys, but who supposedly got investors, and had ads and pro model of JP Walker and Shaun White ( i doubt they really wrote comments on yobeat in the last two days…must be a hater…) who both would get a commission in their first contracts as creative agency…

    So just imagine it is a joke, smile, and go see their booth at sia…

    they will have one.

    either it was a joke, and they are the best creative agency ever as the entire snowboard community that matters to me ( not the one that just snowboards sometimes… people that actually like it so much that they also are scandalized by such a gay invention), and that should matters in general…..

    then, if it is fake and that they are a new creative agency, any brand should hire them with confidence, because they just wanted to be hated, they got famous just by getting everybody to know their faces and names with a joke, they will be a great one that any snowboard company could hire. They understand how to make snowboarders react…

    If they are trying to sell their shit, and if you think it is shit, go pick up a free energy drink, and fall over their booth. Maybe 300 people will do it that day. They will understand they should quit and leave the snowboard industry alone.

    which leads me to say… forget what you just saw, do not comment anymore….

    If you invented it… stop, and invest in a creative agency at sia… maybe nobody will hire you, but you will not loose as much as trying to make that…

    sorry, but i hope it is a joke, because snowboarding does not need that bullshit!
    Maybe you will manage to sell some to that guy in a smaller town who has a sport shop and sell some snowboards because few local kids actually still buy a snowboard in a “local shop” more than on internet, but he has no cool snowboard store around, or he is not into snowboarding, he is just a snowboarder, does not check yobeat… but you won’t make a living, and you will come at sia knowing that the snowboard industry will laugh at you, or feel sorry….

    snowboarding does not need that shit.

    so, either stop, or snowboarding will reject you… or tell us it was a joke, maybe you will be accepted!!!1

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