Last week I got a call from Active Ride Shop asking if I could make it to Mammoth to help judge their contest, the Bro-down Showdown. Upon clarifying they weren’t trying to call a more important Justin by mistake, I agreed to head down to sunny California and judge snowboarders that were all way better than me. What follows is my notes taken during my five day adventure with a company that knows how to party.
FRIDAY 4/19 4:52 am: walk onto airplane. It appears I have the entire row to myself which is a tall persons dream come true.
4:56 am: False alarm. I am sitting in the wrong seat and two Serbian men give me questioning looks as I lay sprawled out in their row. “Oh it’s cool guys, I was just warming it up for you.” Silence. Perhaps they don’t understand the reference.
5:00 am: The flight attendant says she can assist me with my seat belt if I need. Either this chick is hitting on me or she thinks I am retarded. Given my lack of sleep and smell, I’ll go with the latter.
Lone Pine skatepark. The only real civilization between L.A. and Mammoth.
11:30 am: No time wasted in going to In-and-Out. I am a firm believer in acclimating your stomach to local grub.
1:27 am: Active’s Andrew Massey and I blast Bad brains through the desert. My pale Portland skin raisins in the sun.
6:00 pm: Mexican food at Jalepenos down below the village. There is erotic art on the wall.
7:01 pm: Wait, there is no open container law in Mammoth? It’s on folks.
8:32 pm: We’ve been waiting for the Active crew to show up for three hours so we decide to car nap. In a small Subaru, it’s a great way to get to know someone you have just met. I play little spoon to my board bag.
9:02 pm: we make an Ipad our car theater. Given too will be playing this evening.
Erotic Mexican art, Beer outside, and Given Too in the comfort of the car.
9:22 pm: The van arrives!
10:13pm: first shotgun
10:17 pm: Six kids pile into a motel 6 room. The door practically hits the bed when you open the door and their bags cover 95% of the floor space. I am shown a new way of cooking the devil’s lettuce. “Smokin’ poppers” is the Canadian equivalent of a mole bowl that requires it’s own bong piece. Crazy Canadians.
11:30 pm: Locating the only available floor space in the room, I sleep under the sink.
High how are you?
9:23 am: I decide I will take pictures of people that are stoned today and call it high-level journalism.
10:00 am-2:30 pm: I take advantage of Mammoth’s three different parks and half pipes. I also run into TWS’s John Poulin. He gets pissed at me for actually running into him. Whatever, dude.
10:28 pm: Minnesota kids party down at Horizon 4 in celebration of their triumphs at Volcom’s Peanut Butter and Rail Jam. Other than Sawyer Dean taking first, they pretty much swept the thing.
10:35 pm: There is a closet-sized room in their condo with Bunk beds. Two couples in underwear lay in bed. The Minnesota kids refer to it as the fuck closet. They don’t know the people that live in their at all, they just hear them have sex a lot.
10:36 pm: I notice a weird stain in the couch and decide it might be time to bail. Lord knows I don’t need to party to a porn soundtrack.
11:10 pm: A 10 person van with some familiar faces shows up from Gremlinz Games. I think they all had food poisoning from some bad mushrooms or something cus they were acting very strange.
12:30 pm: Whiskey bottles down and we get dropped of in the VIllage.
1:00 am: We can’t get into underground because the Cops are saying Dylan Alito is too Drunk. He requests to backflip in front of them to prove his sobriety. Somehow they fail to see this is a legitimate option.
1:30 am: Kids find out that I am a judge in the contest and buy me lots of drinks. Jokes on them, I won’t remember anything in the morning.
Contest winners and real life contest notes!
8:00 am: Wake up and head towards contest registration. I am hung over but it all goes away when I see Jeremy Estorga hit his head on a support beam.
9:00 am-1:45 pm: I help judge the Bro-Down Showdown with Josh Sherman, Stephen Duke, Dave Downing and others. I wrote a story about the contest too, so read it.
1:50 pm: I stumble across a bunch of costumed drunk people having some sort of waterskiing contest.
4:26 pm: A bus of 65+ Active Ride shop employees show up with enough stoner food to feed a phish concert.
5:06 pm: I am given a gift bag only to find out it’s a trap. I demonstrate to the people in the room over thirty what “getting iced” means. Happy to help guys.
Food and Ice.
8:30 pm: I show up late for the after-party because I am posting the contest story. Time to play catch-up.
9:46 pm: Guy Mariano, Rick Howard, and Justin Eldridge are here playing in the company poker game. I see my coolness factor go down the drain. “Ya Justin, Toeside Terrors are funny and all but have you seen Pretty Sweet?”
9:30 pm: The active dudes send me the checklist to #crailmountain. It’s an insta-scavenger hunt and I graciously accept #teamfruckya ‘s request to join their team.
10:01 pm: One of the Active employees asks Guy Mariano if he works in the tech department at Active. Whoops.
10:30 pm: I interview local drunk Richard Imtoodrunktoprenoucnemylastname. He is kind of like the Dos equis’ most interesting man in the world’s drunker and sketchier brother. While talking to him he Mistakes a candle for his beer and drinks candle wax. Twice.
9:41 am: I boost Eric to the top of the Mammoth statue for a quick 50 points.
10:00 am – 1:00 pm: The Active employees get after #crailmountain.
1:00 pm: Von Zipper hosts a downhill speed race. Racers must bomb down the hill under Chair 2, stop promptly at the finish line and army crawl to the prize table. At first BB guns were involved but Mammoth Marketing got bummed on it real quick.
2:00 pm: A $1,000 flatscreen TV is up for grabs. And Keith the Chief takes it in the final race.
4:58 pm: Skylar left his shoes in the van and cat find a replacement. We are hungry and we have no time to wait. Socks it is.
5:07 pm: There is one dollar PBRs and 50 cent saki at Sushi Rei during happy hour.
5:31 pm: Saki shot count: 4
5:52 pm: Personal saki shot count-8. Total number of entrees ordered- 18. BIll- $220.00.
6:30 pm: Sticking snowchella stickers on people is the cool thing to do. No one is safe. Not even the bartender. Soon not sticking stickers on people becomes cool. Snowboarders are so predictable.
8:38 pm: The judges deliberate over the instas and rally points for the winner of the contest.
9:03 pm – 10:16 pm: The awards ceremony for #crailmountain rallies more drinking, screaming, beer pouring and male stripping.
10:20 pm: #team37 takes the victory in a landslide. Guy, Justin, and Rick hand out prizes and take photos.
10:45 pm: The bus driver gets on the mic and calls me a pussy for going home so early. He is right.
11:15 pm: Party back at season 4. Sloppy philosophical conversations about snowboarding start with “Naw, it’s like this man..” way too much.
9:00 am: Approximately 10 people make it to the mountain. Others stay at home and skate, pack, or clean up frito lay crumbs from shag carpets.
11:39 am: The ticket Active gave me for the day said “elite” on it. The lifty girl told me she had never seen one of those and asked me if I wanted to party tonight. I basically played it of like I was a pro snowboarder. Thanks again Todd!