The Shaun White Edit You Have to See to Believe!

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I’m really embarrassed that these are the guys at the forefront of mainstream snowboarding. It’s completely unbelievable to me. I can’t quite tell if this is meant to be a joke or not but I think that may have been the point. Either way it’s a really bad joke and you should feel really bad.

I can’t help but feel like I’m being trolled because of the blatant cum suckery that this edit displayed. It’s not even like fresh, sterile cum being sucked either, it’s like post five-second-rule cum off of somebody’s cold kitchen floor, perhaps with poop germs living in it. (Disclaimer: not meant to be a gay bash, any time someone eats cold poopy cum off the ground it’s gross regardless of your gender or sexual preference.. Cue “The more you know” graphic and soundbyte.) I’m a pretty forgiving person and I like to think I can see the good in things even when they really suck, which explains why I’ve tried to give Horkstien’s edits a chance. And you know I always was a bit bummed on his stuff, but damn it, I’m a family man so I gave him as many chances as possible.

Fortunately for him, he just so happened to read my mind! I always thought… the only way to make these edits good would to be to add my grandmother’s second favorite snowboarder, the one and only, tomato top, or whatever his name is. So, thanks for swagging me out B! All my mall kid homies and I were psyched on Shaun’s tight pant’s wide stance cowboy look. Look at him spread those butt cheeks, god damn! I bet every time that dude falls on his booty he blasts a hemorrhoid the size of the dimmsdale dimmadome into his b-hole. Those stinky little balloons make for a near perfect horgbeatz edit! Really though, there is only one thing missing — some sexual innuendos about riding your board. HAHAHA so fucking classic dude!

Wait… Where was she last new years eve? Oh fuck, you don’t say… That’s weird because I hazily remember hooking up with a snowboard that I had met that night. Mike’s hard lemonade makes me a bit wild, sorry. But anyways, I think that board’s name was Nicole! Maybe it’s just a coincidence or maybe I had butt sex with your snowboard.. I don’t know dude, I fuck so many snowboards, I think I have a problem. I mean, I just get diarrhea jonestown drunk and wake up in a damn pile of boards sometimes. Once, I had a three way with a pair of skis! But that was when I was young and in love. So uh.. anyways.. good luck dealing with a potentially unfaithful snowboard.. and good luck finding someone else to do triple cocks, I mean corks with!

92 replies
  1. Elmantaco
    Elmantaco says:

    Torstein and Shaun must have Eiffel Towered Oliver’s mums board or something good lord…

  2. Yamos
    Yamos says:

    Every 14 year-old trolling commenter on Yobeat can jib better than Shaun White. God, that was fucking awful.

  3. YES
    YES says:

    Who cares.Why do you bitch about this stuff? Just ignore it if it bugs you. Im so tired of this. Just Snowboard.

    Go snowboarding. Quit judging people. More Love. Less Hate.

  4. boneyballsack
    boneyballsack says:

    this is pretty embarrassing even though I hate the guy I was expecting something way better

  5. assblaster
    assblaster says:

    Throughout most of the video I thought it was a joke edit that yobeat released to make fun of these kooks. I later(sadly) found out this edit was as serious the moment you found out that Darth Vader was Luke sky walkers father..

  6. skier
    skier says:

    this is edit is why the “extreme sports” industry looks so lame to people who watch sports on espn and shit

  7. Vj gurtner
    Vj gurtner says:

    I was there that day y’all should see what didn’t make the edit, what a joke. I know kids from the bay the ride five days a season and kill park harder than this clown.

  8. Fruitbooter
    Fruitbooter says:

    Hahahaha Oliver is right in too many ways with this one… This is horrible. The tomato must be stopped! And as for horg-derper… U should stop jibbing, FOREVER

  9. Ku klux
    Ku klux says:

    Torsreins legit and you all suck, I don’t know yet if I hate Shaun white or not but chill its a joke. Snowboarding isn’t serious, chill

  10. sucralose
    sucralose says:

    I cant tell if Shayne was trying to be funny with his stance or if that’s actually how he rides normally.

  11. yobeatdisdick
    yobeatdisdick says:

    Hate on the ginger all you want, but torstein does it all. N they prolly fucked your bitch

  12. redvandan
    redvandan says:

    Please tell me , why all the hate??? I ride and never diss my fellow riders…WTF All haters PLEASE stay away from my area, Baker, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME!!!

  13. scrublife
    scrublife says:

    yo, ive honestly never witnessed ol seen whit balance on a rail in my life. not one edit, video part, or cameo. always either mach 10 at a dfd, or homeboys hitting a box.

  14. Sorrynotsorry
    Sorrynotsorry says:

    Im going to say this as nice as possible with the thought of “Go snowboarding. Quit judging people. More Love. Less Hate.” in my head, but holy SHIT! I along with Oliver Dixon, am tired of this shit being “snowboarding” this shit SUCKS THE USED TAMPONS OUT OF BROOK’S VAGINA! and any person that backs this edit up should be forever banned cause you suck just as much. I’m actually butthurt that Yobeat even posted this, because now with my luck, I will wear my yobeat hoodie to school and what do you know some douche with a fucking rasta ressi tip beanie on will be like ” YO DUDE! LIKE DID YOU PEEP THAAT ONE LIKE VID THEY POSTID WITH LIKE THE FLYING TOMATO!?!?!?! IT WAS SOOOOO SICK!! IT LIKE INSPIRED ME TO GO SHRED UR SUMTHING”

  15. Eric
    Eric says:

    This was obviously a joke edit.. Yobeat gave the exact reaction that these dudes wanted. pretty funny.

  16. tom
    tom says:

    GLAD TO SEE SOMEONE FINALLY REALIZED TORSTEIN WAS TERRIBLE. I THOUGHT HE WAS THE WET DREAM OF EVERY 12 YEAR OLD SNOWBOARDER BUT I FINALLY SEE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. GET THIS ROLLERBLADER OUT OF SNOWBOARDING!

  17. Archimedes
    Archimedes says:

    I’m pretty sure they were just filming random rail shots just fucking around on the way to the pipe…. although I agree shauns jibbing was sub par. But he’s also an olympic level pipe jock so who really gives a shit if he forgot how to jib.

  18. Shaun Bon Jovi
    Shaun Bon Jovi says:

    That is indeed Shaun’s stance. Wouldn’t be surprised if his boards come with the holes already set for his stance. I mean…why not. If you are getting custom boards anyway?

  19. hoodrat
    hoodrat says:

    if you know torstein you know he loves to fuck around and have a good laugh. I’m sure he’s gettin it from this article haha

  20. JermIsMyHomeboy
    JermIsMyHomeboy says:

    Not going to flex and pretend that Hansu and T.Horg don’t ride better than me, but I sure as hell write better than Oliver. What the hell did I just read?

    Brooke, if you have some frequent flyer miles to burn, and want to fly me out to Oregon for an interview, I would be okay with helping you guys out.

  21. yobust
    yobust says:

    shaun white is the best snowboarder out. rephrase that, the best snowboarder ever. you need to spend your time better instead of hating on someone who can actually kill it. ha

  22. ill a noiz
    ill a noiz says:

    everytime sal masakela says shaun white is the best snowboarder in the world… they need to show the clip of that “hammer” fifty back one out down that “huge” rail. than show any clip of stathis down a true street rail. and i garuntee all the brainwashed long”bro”ders would be like, shauns was cleaner.

  23. basshole
    basshole says:

    lemme get this out of the way: shaun sucks at rails, i think everyone on this site gets that.

    but im not sure where all the torstein hate is coming from tho. sure, he didnt really do anything impressive in that edit, but have you seen any of his other edits or movie parts?? dude slays huge rails and crazy backcountry jumps, all while cleaning up in the contest circuit. yea, he does the occasional crook grind from time to time, but other than that his style is smooth, hes a pretty funny dude, and, most importantly, he seems to be having more fun than 99% of other riders out there. if you personally dont like him or his riding, thats fine, but to go around saying he sucks? you should probably shut the fuck up and reevaluate your line of reasoning

  24. al mane low
    al mane low says:

    Shaun White actually is garbage and a little pussy bitch, but Torstein is a BOSS and is clearly just fucking around

  25. Ski Baby
    Ski Baby says:

    K so while Shaun’s riding was obviously shit, I think we all know Torstein can rip… I guess he’s just guilty of association. Poor guy.

  26. upstatemike.
    upstatemike. says:

    if you want to write articles that offend and are attempts at being funny, don’t go into crazy elaborations about cum and call people all sorts of dumb names. be smart about it. this article sounds like the diary of a 13 year old gamer nerd who’s mad because his mom took away his xbox for a week because he won’t clean his shitty room.

  27. Ricky
    Ricky says:

    Shaun’s style is not for me and I get why people hate on him fully, but Horgmo kills it, anyone slating his riding is just trying to look scene. Oliver Dixon, who you trying to impress man? so fucking try hard it hurts.

  28. Koby
    Koby says:

    Shaun is most likely better at rails than everyone who commented. Do you people think either of these two dudes give a fuck about a one minute video on the internet? Get real and cut the crap.

  29. Country Boy
    Country Boy says:

    I’m pretty sure over 90% of us started snowboarding because we wanted to be like Shaun White. That being said, he actually sucks dick and his style is wack.

  30. jeff the red haired intern
    jeff the red haired intern says:

    i don’t know who oliver dixion is, but you sound like a bitch. It’s just a shitty web edit…

  31. The Dude
    The Dude says:

    I can’t decide what’s worse, Oliver Dixon’s 13yr old name calling or Shaun White’s crooks. Let’s have a vote yobeat…

  32. remos
    remos says:

    idk.. torsteins a chill dude and can actually slay rails in the park. shaun blanco can go chow down on a goats dick for all i care.

  33. John Kerry
    John Kerry says:

    Shaun looks like the love child of Chaka from Land of the Lost and Rocky Dennis. I can slide rails better than that Wendy’s mascot.

  34. eastwest
    eastwest says:

    I just don’t understand how either of these “Super Pros” couldn’t manage to stomp any bangers for us to be stoked on? its obvious they can. I mean just something cool or creative would be sick. this riding was crap, even if its “supposed to be a joke” why post crap? my girlfriend can do all of those tricks in the edit.

  35. Winona Boosh
    Winona Boosh says:

    i agree when i started snowboarding i wanted to be as good as shaun white…. well…. it looks like i have beaten him in rails… not jumps thats okay though, i can die happy

  36. thetruth
    thetruth says:

    changethattape.com snowboarding for what it is minus the BS. No negative vibes just snowboarding.

  37. What?
    What? says:

    Maybe you could try writing that again, but in English? Seriously Oliver, did you just do one pass at that article? Just stream of consciousness explosion on the page, hit publish, move on?

    Look, I like a good trash talking article as much as the next guy. But you can do it lame, or you can take some time and make it intelligent and something that is worth reading, remembering and passing on. Editing is not the enemy of good. But your thoughts were just so important you had to spooge them all over the page without any thought to the mess you were making? Sweet. What a waste of time.

  38. Oliver DixonCider
    Oliver DixonCider says:

    Why are people surprised by this? Every single page on this website says “making fun of snowboarding since 1997”.

  39. Obama
    Obama says:

    I’m surprised YOBEAT didn’t like this video Shauns pants were just as tight as the rest of the guys videos they play…………Maybe it’s because his stance wasn’t less than shoulder length like the rest of the rest of the videos they play……..

  40. Dave
    Dave says:

    I wonder who here can actually snowboard….
    You think your comments are going to affect any of these guys or make them sad? This was one of the poorest written articles I have ever read. If anyone should be getting the hate its the writter of this article. Grow up. Do something productive and positive.

  41. Alllthehate
    Alllthehate says:

    Its funny how every one is hating on mr white, he is still better at rails then 99.9 percent of you kooks who are pump on the thought of riding instead of actually riding. You guys should only open your mouths to suck a snowmans dick. Peace time to go split board

  42. dew tour brah
    dew tour brah says:

    me: “hey mom can you pass the butter”

    mom: “sorry shaun white a torstein used it all up”

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