Travis Rice’s Deal with the Devil

With his latest victory at Supernatural this weekend, Travis Rice has further proven he’s the best snowboarder in the world. He didn’t just win the event. He stomped all over the skills of the 17 other “best snowboarder in the world” and we at Yobeat have to ask: why? Why is Travis so much better at snowboarding than everyone else?

After extensive research and in-depth interviews with various experts, we’ve finally determined the only plausible explanation. Travis Rice has sold his soul to the Devil. We do not make this statement lightly, as serious journalists we actually have trouble accepting matters of the underworld as fact, but there is absolutely no other explanation.

We’ve been on this case for years, in fact. Early research was inconclusive, however. Several close friends of Travis laughed us off. But as we explored further, we began to find if we asked people just outside of Rice’s inner circle, the stories were different. One acquaintance mentioned his love of ungodly Techno music and relationship with Justin Timberlake as possible proof. Others noted his willingness to wear fluorescent, despite being from Wyoming, not Europe. Before long, We became convinced that the deniers were simply imps, blind to the truth.

Frightened, but not dissuaded, we delved further into the life of Rice, and began to uncover more and more evidence. For example, Travis follows a strict Ayuvedic diet. According to an article we found on the Internet, Ayuveda is an “ancient pagan form of medical treatment,” which uses “ideas, concepts and treatments that can only be considered unscientific and/or irrational, or occult.” Sounds scary right?

Another example is Travis’s unnatural healing speed. A source tells us of a X Games event a few years back, where Travis destroyed his ankle in practice. A few days later however, Travis went on to win the slopestyle contest anyway. In general, Travis requires no rest. After a day or week of hard riding, while all the other riders take a day or two off, Travis heads back to the hill, builds himself a 50 foot jump and has a mellow session.

The list of double corks, 1260s and 150-foot airs in Travis’s trick library speaks volumes towards his unnatural ability, and adding all this up, we were almost convinced. But again, this is not a proclamation we make lightly, and it wasn’t until this next fact we were ready to break this story. You should be sitting down for this one.

As diligent journalists, we were able to track down a source, who prefers to remain anonymous, that was able to pinpoint the exact place in which Travis forged his deal with Satan. It was logically in New Zealand, home of the Tasmanian Devil, Devil’s Staircase, Devil’s Punchbowl Waterfall and the Devil’s Own Golf tournament. After an especially wild night of partying, Travis disappeared, only to return the next morning, missing one eyebrow.

That eyebrow, it would turn out, was some sort of bodily sacrifice, as on the drive to a quarterpipe contest at Snow Park that morning, Travis instructed the driver to stop at the base of the access road. The winding, rally-style dirt road was treacherous even with all-wheel drive, but Travis hesitated just long enough to pick an especially pounding techno track before climbing on the roof and insisting that our source drive. As they careened up the curved road, Travis simply shouted “faster!” repeatedly, like a man possessed. The source was so frightened, he was unable to remember if Travis went on to win the contest, but we’re willing to venture he did.

Since that fateful day, Travis’s ability, and unlimited helicopter rides have known no bounds. There is some speculation that Brainfarm Cinema’s Curt Morgan was also in on the deal, which helps explain his partnership with both Travis, and Red Bull. While the exact details of the contract are not certain, we do know that until the Devil is done with Travis Rice, those hoping for a easy path to professional snowboarding should find another career.

24 replies
  1. les grandes bites
    les grandes bites says:

    He was supposed to win, he built it. If i study for a test I usually get A’s. but hes good.

  2. J.M.
    J.M. says:

    He won the contest where he designed the course, that was put on by his sponsor.

    He is a good snowboarder though, it’s just a shame he’s such a boring man.

  3. Zimmerman
    Zimmerman says:

    Every time you imply that Travis won because of some kind of unethical conduct realize that you’re implying Bryan Iguchi, Temple Cummins, Shin Campos, Jamie Lynn & Tom Burt acted unethically as judges.

    Feel stupid now?

  4. Schiff
    Schiff says:

    Zimmerman makes a good point except he forgot to mention how all of those guys were actually Satan’s lapdogs . Snowboarding is evil and if you want to excel you must demand the sacrifice. You work for Bent Metal you should know that Tim…haha

  5. StLouisAlaskan
    StLouisAlaskan says:

    Bode should have been in though. might’ve been a different game. Anways, I’d rather have Muller or Ruf’s style than have a bunch of red bull money; Muller’s part in Art of Flight was better than Rice’s.

  6. thatguy
    thatguy says:

    tasmanian devils are from tasmania, not new zealand. get your facts straight! i thought you said this was serious journalism…

  7. grant
    grant says:

    i just think it was unfair for the other riders because he had built and watched the features progress. travis had a slight advantage. but fair is fair

  8. robert langdon
    robert langdon says:

    This is absurd. Why would TRice make a deal with the devil? We all know he won because he is a memeber of the alluminati. The perks of reading yellow snow.

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