I just walked in the wrong direction for about a mile. Then I turned around and some two miles later I made it to the hotel. Why did I go on this journey? Because Yobeat publisher Brooke Geery demanded it. So, here I am writing a story after too many beers, an awkwardly large lighting bolt tattoo, a weird Burton party, a $17 dollar lunch, a bunch of bullshit and a root beer serving strip club. Honestly, I’m at SIA. I want to party. I want to go have fun, so I’m going to keep this brief. After all you really just want to see the product photos anyway. Planning your kit a year in advance is a very important aspect to being a snowboarder these days. So let’s break down the last 24 hours…
1. Burton threw a party. It was beyond odd. Someone pulled the fire alarm and people started to disperse. It was a prank (go figure) and the party continued. You couldn’t get drinks at most of the bars (they were for important people). The bartenders were wearing very little, but I wish they had covered their ugly mugs. People realized the party blew and left, even though a secret stripper show was happening somewhere in the Jonas Bros bar. Yep, that was the actual name of the bar.
2. We ended up at a strip club. It was past drinking hours so they would only serve root beer or Sprite. Luckily someone had a giant bottle of booze and we got pretty riled up. The Dingo was there, he looks the exact same as he did six years ago. I think he should update his look.
3. Took a limo ride home. Got dropped off at 711. I was super hungry. Haggled a price and headed home.
4. Threw chewed up peanut shells at the Tranny Finders until I fell asleep. They are living on our floor.
5. Woke up and pissed everyone off by not knowing we were supposed to hurry. Seemed stupid.
6. Got to the show. Brooke fell asleep because her head was exploding and she felt rather awful. No one looked good.
7. I was up for a tattoo at the Arnette booth thanks to Robbie Sell.
8. I now have a giant lightning bolt on the back of my arm. It wasn’t thought out. I can’t move my arm too much because it will, “Totally fuck up the healing process.” according to the artist.
9. The dumbest thing at SIA (besides the entire ski side) was this collection of boards by YES. It has head shots of different legendary boarders who don’t, and never will, ride for them plastered on both nose and tail. I think they are just trying to trick kids into thinking they’re buying a different brand. Plus, do you really want Peter Line starring you down whenever you go snowboarding?
10. Brooke passed out in the hallway. I think she puked somewhere, too.
11. Everyone wandered around and did business. Then Team Yobeat left and I got drunk at the Capita booth.
Tonight only holds more fun. A few post-prime rappers are playing shows. Transworld is having their party and we’ll fight to get drinks. Team Yobeat will split up, half turning in and half getting twisted. More importantly, tomorrow I’ll actually know I’m supposed to write a story and I’ll take lots of cool photos. Now, enjoy a gallery of new shit that you wouldn’t otherwise see.