2012 Must Haves!

Forget about your Nike’s, your Cobra Sharks, reverse camber, tight-kneed pants, flannels and balaclavas. All that shit is old news. Last season you tried to stand out, but once again just blended into the masses of trying-real-hard-but-still-not-getting-noticed kids. If you’re going to convince everyone at your home zone that you’re in and making it this season you’re going to need the following:

Gear


Union PBR bindings

Casual-fitting dockers-style snow pants. AKA snow slacks


Double flat, triple kick deck. Sick tech, bro.

Vans snowboard boots, but only because the potentially sneaker-looking Adidas boots aren’t out yet.


Gas station attendant jacket. Bonus points if it has a name patch or some ironic logo.

Stickers of some company so new they can only be had by someone who spent the summer on Mt Hood.


Obscure town hat. Any town will do.


Mittens. No one’s wearing gloves anymore, especially after all this JP walker hate/heat. Who would be caught dead with spirit fingers. Also mittens allow you to keep your hands warm and safe and still wear flea market jewelry.

Moves:

Now the right look will get you pretty far with the on lookers as you walk to the lift, but if you want to maintain your street cred you’re going to have to put down a few moves here and there. Try:


fs blunt to forward (See Jed Anderson 17 secs)

fs noseblunt sameway 270


Spin in pretzel 360 out

Tuck knee late method


Unnecessary gap to rail. In other words, gapping midway onto a down or flat rail.

360 seatbelt. Bonus points if it’s over a rail.


Ollie over the front of the rail. Show everyone that you probably skateboard and can ollie high.

Oh and most importantly, you never hike. If this is a pre-opening kind of a gig and you must hike make sure you’re hitting the feature no more than three times in one hour. You don’t need to be out there sweating your ass off for hit after hit, you’ve already got all the key moves locked.

This list will probably get you through the first month of winter, but once the edits start rolling out across the country be ready to either start hating on new and crazy moves, referring to yourself as a “purist” or join up and start pushing it. If some of this sounds out of your league or unaffordable, it’s best you wait until your area is almost completely open and there’s some out-of-the-way groomers you can go cruise around on for a while until all the early season bro down session heat wears off and you can blend back into mediocrity with you’re tail press bs 180s and hoodie/flannel combos of late.

This 2012 Must Have guide was brought to you by Buysnow.com, now shipping all your 2012 gear needs, but not the skills to actually snowboard.

  • jeremiah paquette

    im gay

  • uh

    ther only maken 200 of those pbr bindings BULLSHIT

  • oh shit wrong website, i meant to type newschoolers.com

  • m3th

    im pretty sure you guys saw footyfiend and were like: OH SHIT FRONT BLUNTS ALL DAY

  • Shaun White

    if ya wanna be cool duoble cork in the pipe. duh.
    OLYMPICS

  • turd ferguson

    if you wanna be really cool you gotta have shit on your chest at all times while on the hill

  • matt

    fronius’ gap to rails are not unnecessary

  • tick lee

    Fucking emo faggit who posted the that bread cat thing go back to your mainstream snowboarding sites with your sports authority equipment and you cool middle school trends from zummiez.
    FAGGGGIIITTTT

  • Danger Mouse

    if you cant do tricks you want to do and wear what you like because its IN then you should stop snowboarding. Snowboardings not about fun and doing what you like, its about making fun of people who do what they wanna do.

  • yeah

    this list is bullshit. how is there no zeaches or swivels.

  • yoyougotfruit

    front one back three swivels are in this year

  • rupert

    pbr collabs are old news, i mean santa cruz made a longboard… (trend deaded), im waiting on my greaser style-dicky-slim-straight-chino-sf-late release-holden-collab-snowboard pants to come out.

  • piles

    let rexycle things already happening in snowboarding to amke ourselves seem ironic for making it fashionable there fore making us cool. fuck yeah so cool right now. cool.

  • piles

    yes, rexycle is a new word. but its not cool since youve all heard of it now.

  • Susan’s beard

    Fuck. I was really hoping smith grinds would be in this season…… and taylor gang snapbacks.

  • alberghini9

    unnecessary gaps to rails is really unnecessary

  • skippertida

    unnecessary post is unnecessary

  • da da da

    fuck that. this list should be Jake OE, Danimals, Alex Stathis, Jonas Michilot, Keegan Valaika, 32 and all there team .oh and Gnarly is fucking in.

  • cucumber

    Spot On, good work

  • LURK

    –Stickers of some company so new they can only be had by someone who spent the summer on Mt Hood.

  • Shiny Shins

    trends are lame. don’t buy into what other people think is “cool” jus do yo own thang.

  • yes

    fuck this noise

  • FUCKIN SHITTY ARTICAL YOU STUPID FUCKIN AMERICAN FUCKIN CUNTS EH

  • doesn’t union know those bindings are so not pbr. they should have released them with a just a pbr sticker slapped on the back. that would have been awesome.

  • blz

    the most expensive pbr anyone has purchased.