Vacation Week: Gingervitus Guest Edition with Pat Moore

Recently the Cyros Sperm Bank of Denmark rejected a donor’s sperm because of his hair color. With 500 tubes of red juice ready for anyone willing to spend their life with, they are simply over stocked, with no demand. Among hair color, most prospective parents look for preferred physical attributes for their soon-to-be child. Much like ordering a Whopper from the King, parents want it their way and order up height, weight and facial features. I wonder if alongside redheads, the sperm banks will start to deny other specific characteristics such as short, fat and ugly. I decided to open up the conversation with my little buddy Austen Sweetin to see what he thought of the scenario.– Pat Moore

Pat: Do you think it’s worse to be redheaded or short?

Austen: Redheaded, I think fire crotch would be a painful thing to live with.

Are there positives to being short?

You’re not redheaded.

If you had to defend your group of hobbit freaks to a world court what would you say?

We’re normal, everyone else is just abnormally tall.

This drop is actually only eight feet, it just looks giant compared to Austen. Photo: Tim Peare

Who’s your favorite short snowboarder?

Peter Line

Let’s say you had a baby and it had read hair. Would the thought of having such a small hideous child force you to abandon it or would it be so ugly that it was cute?

It would be the best looking red head out there.

How do you feel about red heads?

As long as their gingervitus isn’t contagious, they’re cool.

Who do you think is the best red headed snowboarder in the world?

Alek Oestreng, the stuff he can do is next level, you’ll see it in Vacation.

Who is your favorite red head on Forum?

Pat and Alek, there’s two of them on Forum.

Who’s taller, you or Peter?

Pete’s got me beat by an inch or so.

Who’s your favorite Northeast red headed snowboarder?

I think you’re the only redheaded snowboarder from the Northeast Pat, so I’d say you, ha.

Is Yogi for everyone or is there a height restriction?

Nope, just hair color restrictions.

Austen was built for Mexican wrestling.

Alright some normal questions, Do you like quaterpipes?

I really like qp’s. I grew up riding Holy Oly, a qp contest at Snoqualmie, so that got me into them and ever since then they’ve been one of my favorites.

You like to go big, are you compensating for anything?

No compensation necessary.

Is it that you’re going big or is it that you are so small that whatever you hit then looks big?

My height makes things look a little bigger, but I try to send it as big as I can until I feel to sketchy.

Golden boy, child star, boy wonder. These are heavy titles for a little guy to hold, are you gunna live up to them or blow out like most?

Hopefully I’ll be able to live up to them, blow out is the last thing I want to do.

How was the backcountry this year?

It was intimidating at first cause it was my first year, but it was some of the best riding I’ve ever had, definitely looking forward to spending more time back there.

Little guy on a big jump!

You are from the Northwest, yet you are a park jock, how does that work?

Northwest has some of the best all mountain parks around, Alpental or Baker on a pow day is an endless natty park.

Who’s your favorite Northwest legend?

Peter Line, hometown legend of Seattle.

What has Niko Cioffi ever taught you?

He’s taught me a lot of things, I’ll just keep them to myself though.

Do you know who Colleen Quigley is?

I’ve heard the name, but never met her.

If you’re short and/or red headed and found this offensive, we recommend lightening up. Plus, now it’s your turn. Click on over to today’s giveaway to find out how a little smack talk could win you a brand new Forum Conflict snowboard, the favorite of Pat Moore himself. Go enter right now!

Vacation Week is brought to you by Vacation, the new team film from Forum, Special Blend and Foursquare, premiering Sept. 28th in Huntington Beach, CA. Click on over to for the full World tour schedule and teaser.

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