Before every kid knew how to use the internet, felt obligated to showcase their whatever tricks, owned a super-duper HD camera and a Go-Pro there were things called real snowboard videos. They came in VHS box sets, and eventually DVDs. With some odd ten billion videos in production every Winter now Yobeat feels it’s important to remind everyone that some videos have actual production teams, pro riders and a reason for existing. So for the next few weeks (we hope) we will be reviewing the movies that matter. So, to kick it all off, we start with Capita Defenders of Awesome.
OVERALL GRADE: A
NOTES: Seriously impressed with Capita. A few years ago they made that emotional hipstamatic movie that announced Corey Smith’s retirement. This year they made a no holds bar masterpiece of modern snowboarding. Every person in this video wrecked shit, all the big tricks happened and it was fun to watch.
BUY OR BURN: 100% buy, this is one you’ll want to own a legit copy of.
Here’s the rundown:
Scott Stevens isÂ apparently stupid, he said so, but, deal with it. He also said that. Moving on, Scott is still doing weird shit on a snowboard, and the only reason it is ok is because he’s not only the best at weird shit on a snowboard, but it’s super fucking awesome to watch. Oh, there are some bangers too. It’s a classic fun, weird and rule bending part from ol’ Atcha Boii.
Dan Brisse, thisÂ guy still looks like a retired high school football star to me, but there’s no denying that he has huge balls and a whole lot of skill. He jumps fucking huge. He films in snowstorms, he does really long, impossibly hard rails, and you can tell he enjoys it. Hate it or love it, this dude is pretty fun to watch.
Jess Kimura akaÂ Danger Pony is back in action after pretty much shitting on all the other girls last year, but, there’s a twist. She’s way better now. She’s still not boy good, but duh. If you’re a girl, watch and learn. If you’ve got a girl, tell her she sucks and then show her this part. If you’re a guy, her ollie to wall slam thing will make your penis shrink at least an inch.
Cale Zima, what a part.Â Super hard hip hop, lots of knee destroying drops and the coolest use of a skate pool I’ve seen in snowboarding. The mustached midget’s part will keep you stoked all winter. Oh, and the gap back three banger—get ready for that.
Brandon Cocard’s opening shot, amazing. Banger, amazing. The stuff in the middle, also amazing. There might be a trend happening here, this move might kick ass.
TJ Schneider. Remember when this guy rode in Love Hate? Like 800 years ago? No? You’re too young or you’ve drank too much since then? Bummer, because apparently the guy who makes webisodes that I hate decided to tell people like me to fuck off by filming one hell of a part. No giveaways here, just watch and say, “Holy shit?”
Laura Hadar orÂ Mama Hades comes out charging after a bunch of knee work and the funniest part in Videograss ever. But forgive all that, there is a rock slide in this part that will make the biggest boys jealous as hell.
Dustin Craven is one of the best backcountry riders out there.Â Â This dude is crazy. And a jerk, asshole, dick apparently. His take no prisoners, let’s see if I manage not to die approach to destroying the backcountry gives me a half chub for sure. Maybe the most classic part in this flick, and a total contender for best part, but then there is the ender…
Phil Jacques, who the fuck is this dude?Â I guess the one that is better than you, and all of your friends. He’s the latest French Canadian to walk into snowboarding just to let everyone know they suck. Oh and I lost count of how much of the insane rail bullshit this guy does was switch. So yeah, best part, total ender, get jealous and throw your parents the bird for not living in French Canada.
And More: Andrew Burns, backcountry go pro and all sorts of shit that will get you through the rough patch we call fall. Unless you like rails, then it sucks. Mike Rav makes an appearance and is way better than I thought he was. He also does something really cool on a fence. His part is pretty much the perfect benchmark if you are trying to get sponsored. If you can’t match him, quit, if you can, you’ve got a damn good shot at making some bucks.
Bonus Section: Awesome, Cale’s sponsor me video is a real gem. The other stuff is weird, awesome and violent. Dyke Boy (figure that out for yourself) made an amazingly gruesome video for Capita as well.