Story Time with Uncle Russ Russ: Devirginized Bitch pt 1

This week we have a special treat for you lucky Yobeat readers! It’s a double dose of Uncle Russ Russ. He didn’t just interview Pat “The eYe” Bridges, but he also took time out of his busy schedule to share another tale from the glory days. Last time we visited the 90s, he’d just told off the organizers of Nationals, which can mean only one thing… time ta go pro! Take it away Russ…

After being kicked out of the nationals for flashing on the event coordinators, I decided it was time for me to take the next step. Fortunately I was in the Northwest and the WestBeach Classic was about to go down. I called moms and told her the deal and got myself a ticket to Whistler.

When I showed up word had already gotten out that I had gotten kicked out of the Nationals, which just gave me even more credibility with the Canadian homes!! (BTW I DO LOVE CANADA!!! ) First stop was the pipe, where (Sean) Kerns , (Sean) Johnson and some of the other big name Canadian pros where sessioning. I dropped in like I was at home but after a few runs I decided it was time to free ride. I mean really, this what I did everyday back east.. I don’t get to ride mountains everyday so off I went! Whistler was know for its windlips and quaterpipes back in the day. Since I had know all the locals for a few years we all went and sessioned the hell out of the mountain. When we got down I think it was Mark Morriset who told me that Dogger, Farmer and Perate were in town filming and they needed a place to stay.

“Dogger, you mean Mack Dawg the guy who made New Kids on The Twock and Farmer and Perate the crazy Extreme dudes? Oh yeah I got room for them.”

They showed up at my room and it took all I had to be not in awe. I mean really the guy who made the best movie by far the previous year was staying in my room with two crazy ass exterminators. It didn’t take long for us to go to the bar. Now don’t forget I was a punk ass kid and just started giving Farmer shit right from the get go. After about 10 drinks each he had enough of this punk ass black kid giving him shit all night. We were right outside of Tommy Africas and I saw a switch in eyes flip.. I knew it was time to go!!! I wheeled around like a running back into the air I went through the zebra stripped door of Tommy’s. At the same time Farmer got a hold of the back of my shirt collar. It didn’t matter I was outta there. All I had to do was get behind my linemen aka “the bouncers,” which I did, but I left the Fizz with the entire back of my shirt!!!!!! HAHA…

Oh Russ, maybe not a good idea to piss off the people you wanna film with the first day, but then again, shit happens. Anyway, check back next week to find out if Russ manages to make it on the snow and in front of the camera…

4 replies
  1. TIlion!
    TIlion! says:

    @scummit co – whatever you have to say about this is probably gay.

    But I enjoyed it! more RUSSRUSS

  2. Scott
    Scott says:

    ^ oooo pre-emptive strike!

    for some reason i find it’s pretty easy to get into fights in whistler

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