Story Time with Uncle Russ Russ: Storming the Beach

When we left Russell last week he was riding high after the SoCal tradeshow premiere of the Ride video Toy Soldiers. Drunk as a skunk and looking to get laid, Russ decided the best way to find a comfy wet hole would be to drink until any girl became a solid catch. Well, the movie just finished and Russ is, in his own words, “Hammmmmed.”

Everybody loved the movie and the sick soundtrack that was done by then SD loc’ and close homie DJ Greyboy. I was guzzling booze (kind of embarrassing but I think like 11 o’clock and was completely HAMMMMMMED). All of a sudden the alcohol miracle happened. I looked over at that chick and all of a sudden she was looking pretty frickin’ good.

So over to her I went, plucked her from the dude/coat-rack I left her on, brought her over to another corner of the bar and started chattin’. She kept asking me, “You’re straight, you don’t fuck around huh?” I was like damn naw man I don’t suck no “D” but I sure would love to “F” your pee if ya’ know what I mean! She was like now you don’t party. I looked over at her and told her to bring it on!

We took a cab from PB to Oceanside. I remember walking around a seedy part of town. By seedy I mean there was people of the night with an assortment of items. I will let your imagination figure that out! So I asked her, “So is this a place you hangout?”

“Sometimes,” she said.

Hmm, I thought to myself! Oh well. She went and talked to some guy and he went to a tree and grabbed a bag out of it and handed her little bag out of that bag. We then went back to my house. Well let’s just say that we exercised for a few hours then she took a cab home. I woke up and wondered, “Did one of my sponsors get me a “professional?”

I never asked and was never told…

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