X Games Sorta-Real Review

When I caught wind of this “urban contest thing a ma’ bob” I couldn’t help get a pencil ready. From the roster to the edits, this was a botched job. Jeremy Jones has become our Sarah Palin. Simon Chamberlain, really? X Games gave the impression this was a contest for the kings of the street. The riders rarely seen under the lights, never on the TVs, but loved by the core. Well, they did the definition of a half-assed job. While our out of eight were on the money, the four out of eight should have stayed home. One rider, the only “real” rider, even managed to embarrass me by his actions. Can’t wait to see who really wins. (Check out the videos and vote HERE, but get ready for the worst commercials of ever.)

Joe Sexton:

This edit has some clout. What Joe’s riding lacks in creativity, it picks up in hammer time. Joe’s riding is awesome for one reason, he takes a bunch of stock tricks, does them properly and on some huge rails. There’s no trashcan bumps or ten stair wizardry here folks, just a kid, his snowboard and consequences. The frontboard pretzel on the “bunch o’ kink” rail, that’s a hammer, the rest, impressive as well. I’m glad he’s representing snowboarding on the grand scale in this thing, but end up giving him 4th place.

Simon Chamberlain:

Did I read on his bio that Simon is only 25 years old? How can that be? He’s already been a big name, died off, and is now making some sort of resurgence. Whatever, enough about my mind being blown by the details of his career. Here’s the breakdown; the board slide through the heavy kink rail is some man shit, it’s undeniable. Down side? The rest was fast-forward worthy. For example, the one-foot slide thing? Don’t try to be Scott Stevens? Go back to being the silky smooth guy, the one we loved before your hiatus, 7th place.

Jeremy Jones

Jeremy Jones is to snowboarding what 50 Cent is to rap, originally awesome, currently retarded and backed by Vitamin Water. Look at the two huge kink rails he gaps in this part. That is man shit. That is the riding that makes people uneasy about insulting you. But dude, get your head out of your ass. Willie Yli-Luoma did the shuv-it years ago for laughs. You can’t “revolutionize” this sport now by looking like a snowskater. I’m embarrassed by this part, your attitude and how you’re presenting snowboarding to the public. You get last place, I’d even put you behind whatever kid throws his Youtube video into the comment board.

JP Walker

Give JP Walker all the shit you want, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still super good at snowboarding. And more, he’s still super creative. Check out that McTwist on some random park rooftop. Who hasn’t dreamed of a scenario like that? Kudos for what you’re doing man, but from now, leave the moving trucks in the parking lot and never let the word “stomp” get edited into a video part again, 5th place.

Seth Hout

The slam roll of Seth Hout’s career must be epic. He just looks like that guy. Built Ford tough or whatever. Anyway, Seth has my utmost respect. He’s always been himself, and always let his riding talk to his character. Unfortunately, I think this edit is a bit weak, don’t get me wrong, it’s solid, and impressive, but plenty of kids, given the means, could make it happen. However, that banger, holy hell, that’ll shut the critics up. If we were scoring bangers only, Seth would be on the podium, but the rest of the part dragged him down in my books, 6th place.

Louif Paradis

Louif’s part is more aesthetically pleasing to me, yes, but no, that doesn’t create a bias. This is about how you ride, and if you deserve to represent “the other side of ‘boarding” to the Monday Night Football crowd. Editing aside, I’d say this is a damn good part. The creativity, smoothness and talent this kid brings to the table is top tier. His banger, is literally his banger, he is the rightful owner of that twisty move. I wish there was a bit more energy to this part, but that’s not Louif’s style, I’m going to break the rules, break the medals, and have Louif share 2nd place.

Dan Brisse

I’m actually scared this guy is going to kill himself. Dan Brisse is who Jeremy Jones wishes he was, when he was in his prime. This dude is insane. He’s built like a bag of cement, takes the word “hammer” to a new level and has probably aged his mother into some Crypt Keeper like status. Try to hate anything about Dan, it doesn’t matter, his riding will shut you up. In this era of creativity, vintage Tees and “tech” riding, Dan has become the new face of, “Holy Shit…”. He gets first place, no question about it.

Nick Sauve

Here’s the other half of 2nd place. Nick and Louif are both French-Canadians, so I’m sure they won’t mind sharing this verdict, they already share everything from languages to healthcare. Anyway, Nick Suave is quickly becoming The Man. He’s smooth as hell, talented as anyone and doesn’t seem to sweat head injuries in the least. I’ll admit, I hate his banger; back-flip off a fence wallride? So what. Nice stunt. Boring. But, the previous shot? Launching from nowhere, handplanting a light pole and then dropping the distance? That’s not even happening in video games yet. Let the kiddies on ESPN digest the dangers and realities of that hammer.

39 replies
  1. jerm
    jerm says:

    couldnt agree more with the placements. having people like simon and jones in this just make urban snowboarding look stupid and incorrect.

  2. Mel Gibson
    Mel Gibson says:

    Louif for sure. Minus Brisse’s miniml rail shots, any of todays retarded ‘contest rider’ could shoot the ridiculous carcass-chucking circus acts. Simon is the king of the frontside crook grind. Go back to 2006 when you were respected but definitely keep Zeaching.

  3. nickliptonisapieceofshit
    nickliptonisapieceofshit says:

    Seriously Dan Brisse? I mean I knew YoBeat had terrible taste, but a whole new level. Every other rider has some tech shit but him. If you want to go huge, keep it on the mountains.

  4. stevedave
    stevedave says:

    I for one can’t wait for the “jam session with a street set-up.” I can’t wait to see what hot rail moves Jeremy Jones has heated up to take on Louif and Joe.

  5. Scott
    Scott says:

    Hell yeah brisse kills it. What he lacks in tech he easily makes up for with smooth style and balls the size of watermelons. actually nevermind the tech comment, how many people are doin hardway 27 nose 27 outs? none

  6. Lucey
    Lucey says:

    Excellent review…. except for saying Brisse should win. Louif should win and Seth did have the heaviest hammer.

  7. nahnah
    nahnah says:

    louif should win but probably won’t because of the mainstream will vote for the huge shit. if that’s the case i at least hope nic suave wins cuase his huge shit was creative and interesting unlike brisses

  8. switch50
    switch50 says:

    Did anyone happen to notice Brisse’s ender was a switch 5050 through one of the gnarliest triple kinks known to man kind? Is that not tech?

  9. travioli
    travioli says:

    Brisse’s a fuckin jock – that shit is huge, but who cares. Brisse and Jones were the worst. Nic took that shit home, then Louif and Seth

  10. Brent
    Brent says:

    “that shit is huge, but who cares”… I care. It was huge. I’m amazed that people don’t appreciate Brisse’s riding more… He’s incredibly technical. I love the fact he doesn’t ride a snowboard like it’s a skateboard. He goes huge and is so well rounded.

  11. LIPTONBLEWIT
    LIPTONBLEWIT says:

    SERIOUSLY? BRISSE TAKES YOUR PICK? THE GUY GETS CAR TOWED FOR A BOMB DROP?!?! LOL NEW AGE COREY SMITH WITH A BIT MORE TALENT.

  12. Sam
    Sam says:

    brisse going for mass appeal with big ol’ gaps. he’s doing in right. other people doing tech that only a few people watching those will get, their doing it wrong. jeremy jones busting out razor scouter moves for mass appeal….doing it right, unfortunately. anybody talking crap about brisse, we all know what he throws down.

    really like nic edit, including the final missed grab. really liked it though. favorite trick was probably seth’s ender. scary crap. i remember thinking ‘wow, jp is still better than most people.’ don’t remember a lot about everyone elses edits. i think nicks ranking is fair.

  13. mattsepeta
    mattsepeta says:

    How can people hate on brisse? The guy that said “brisse going for mass appeal with big ol’ gaps” clearly has not seen much footage of brisse, all his parts have huge features. That is his style, go huge or go home, and it’s amazingly epic.

    Huots ender was crazy also, but the rest of his part was kind of lackluster, as was chamberlains.

    Also, the size of the rails joe does blow my mind. He is also a little guy so it makes them look even burlier.

    Jp walker had some sick editing. And why hate on the truck flip? I never in a million years would have came up with something like that, it was awesome.

  14. piles
    piles says:

    louif for the win. Huge and technical shit? look at that crazy transfer drop thing, had to check my drawers after that.
    Brisse just has a death wish, that doesnt make him the best, he just goes fast with big balls, look at some technine videos, there only a few leaps behind.
    jp and jermey should learn that its better to burnout then fade away.
    huot and sexton are always winners.
    suave is precise-er then fancy graphing calculators.

  15. Fonzie
    Fonzie says:

    JP ripped that truck move off of a skier movie that came out this year, I think by Revolver or something. I also don’t get why Brisse’s super tech stuff doesn’t go into vids like these (I don’t remember seeing anything in Now/Here either). …He did a hard way 270 on through a kink, 270 out and that was ‘b-footy’ YoBeat posted couple weeks ago. I want to watch the videos again to see what I forgot about but I don’t want to watch that stupid vitamin water commercial again. This was a good ‘start’ for a new type of contest, but definitely should have left some people off the roster and added some others if the idea was to make jib videos.

  16. SAM MAD WRONG
    SAM MAD WRONG says:

    SORRY SAM, BUT IF THEY ARE REPRESENTING “STREET” SNOWBOARDING TO THE MASSES, THEY SHOULD DO IT RIGHT. YOU’RE MASS APPEAL IDEA IS BOGUS. SHOW THEM THE LEGITIMACY, NOT THE CIRCUS

  17. Sam
    Sam says:

    bullcrap. xgames = contest. contest = win the money. “street” snowboarding is already represented in all snow media. i don’t think xgames or anyone participating really things they are “bringing snowboarding to the world.” maybe back in the day. but i don’t think now. prize money speaks loudly.

  18. lame
    lame says:

    Ain’t diggin Brisse’s style what with those ugly Volcom pants and outerwear jackets on rails… same goes for Sauve, which makes those two tie in 2nd and Louif take first just because he’s the only one in that roster who combines smoothness and style with bangers. Still, that contest could’a used some Keegan, LNP, Leblanc – shit up in there…

  19. Fonzie
    Fonzie says:

    ^^ Are you really getting hung up on what they’re wearing? Is that what constitutes ‘style’ for you?

  20. spencer
    spencer says:

    hitting urban with goggles is almost as gay as dangerzone. Thoses old dudes killed the real “people” movies and made mac dawg 2. Nick just gaps everything, and Louif is a boss

  21. Bob
    Bob says:

    dan brisse is nuts, but the dude ain’t got no style dawg, throwing yourself over huge gaps looks way less cool if it doesn’t look good. he ain’t no mikey leblanc nor louif

  22. tedore
    tedore says:

    Nic sauve should win. did louif have old footage? i want old Bozung in this along with LNP and Dirks.

    Where is the powder kicker version?

  23. the real john smith
    the real john smith says:

    “the real” jeremy jones beat joe sexton? what the fuck? this contest instantly went in the shitter.

    wait. yep. jeremy jones actually advanced by joe sexton.

  24. Really???
    Really??? says:

    Wait a minute from the way this contest was presented it is supposed to show case street snowboarding and you choose Dan for the win??? Are you stupid? Isn’t that the equivalent of Danny Way doing tricks on his mega ramp in downtown LA and calling it his entry for a street contest. How is it different? Transition take off to gap to transition landing-that RETARD is not street snowboarding. Maybe we could get Tom Burt to hit the drop on his fucking split board and while we are at it lets get one of the 15,000 kids in the US that can do backside rodeos off park jumps to hit that same stupid dump truck jump where his board doesn’t grind or slide a thing-just because there is a park jump in the street it doesn’t make it street snowboarding-that was a fucking park jump!! You seem to be an expert on choosing people with the shittiest style. “Dan Brisse is who Jeremy Jones wishes he was?” yeah I’m sure Jeremy lies awake at night wishing he was Dan Brisse.

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