Commenting Back!

Where does alcohol, a lack of sleep and a bad attitude leave you? Either beat up, beating-off or in a state of thought. Luckily, that has nothing to do with this column because Yobeat is all about top-notch extreme snowboard action. Or at least that’s what some assholes wish it would be. Here’s another week of Commenting Back, enjoy.

FROM THE FEATURE: SPONSOR ME BATTLE: COREY SCHARA VS JOSH NELSON

Yes, we let kids battle for “who is better”, get over it. The kids who submit videos have spines. They aren’t bending over, rolling up their cocks into pussies or putting on lipstick for sponsors. These dudes are saying, “Fuck it.” and sending a video of their efforts in. So even though only one rider can win, both riders are more kickass than any hater could ever be.

GRAMMAR NAZI SAID: : “how the hell is josh not winning this. he’s getting wrecked too that does not make sense”

I have a serious problem with you. I mean, your name is “Grammar Nazi”. But, have you ever heard of capitalization, commas or periods? What the fuck is wrong with you? Honestly, the ironic nature of your comment is unbearable. If you had been one of Hitler’s henchman I bet you would have named the concentration camps Jewish Super Family Fun Centers.

FROM THE FEATURE: PARTY TIME NATE’S POST SNOWBOARDING GOURMET

Suzanne said:Haha.. this is awesome. You guys should figure out how much it would cost to make that stuff from the grocery store… although that’s a lot of work. (Gross Smily Face Emoticon Placed Here)

Well Suz, why don’t you do the math for us. I mean, if you’ve got time for emoticons and “Haha” then I think your life is boring enough to tackle the fast food total cost challenge. Can’t wait to hear back. XOXO

Maxhelm Motsvor said: “Most gourmet ass shit I’ve seen in a six minute edit. ever!”

Dear Max, how did you manage to fuck up such a short sentence so many times? I could have beat-off five times during your attempt to convey a message. By the way, how many food edits have you watched? Get out of the house man. Or, accept your fate as an obese dragon master, respected only by your fellow Fedex employees, slowly fading until the day Mr. Reaper comes to snatch your soul.

FROM THE FEATURE: TROLLHAUGEN-TAGE

D.F. said: “What the fuck is park stunting?”

Am I the only one making the connection between D.F. and Dumb Fuck? Whatever, let’s break this brain boggler down, ok? “Park Stunting” involves the words Park and Stunting. Stunts are moves that require skill. A Park is specifically built to facilitate said moves. In conclusion, “Park Stunting” would appear to be a slang term to describe riding skillfully through a course of obstacles. Boy, my thinkin’ box hurts after that doozy.

FROM THE FEATURE: THE FINAL REJECTED EDITS OF NOVEMBER

Mark said: “The kids in the welcome back to hood video look like assholes”

The guy who wrote this comment looks like an asshole.

Z said: “The Critter’s was the worst thing I’ve literally ever watched. I haven’t watched the rest yet, because I had to write about how bad that one was.”

And I want to hear your opinion why? Oh wait, because it’s awesome. Little pointer though, don’t be surprised things suck when they’re branded REJECTED. And Z, toughen up your stomach. Try searching “Peruvian Dog Sex” on Google.

FROM THE FEATURE: HUMP DAY LOVES SNOWBOARDING WITH AUSTEN GRANGER

Suck It said: “This is the most pathetic piece of garbage that I’ve ever seen published…” (CLICK FOR FULL COMMENT:warning long and annoying)

Yeah, so I’m going to cut you off right there. Let’s step back and analyze this situation. Your name is Suck It, and while I have no problem with dudes blowing dudes, I doubt you’re a freedom fighter for the cocksuckers alliance. Next, your comment was too long and came off intolerably preachy. There are enough Glenn Beck’s out there, please shut the fuck up. Your argument is unsound, groundless and utterly misinformed. Your disregard for humor, the culture of this publication and our audiences’ expectations is disgraceful. But, I’m guessing you’re aware of that, as every single comment following yours rained down on your poor character like hot shit from the depths of Satan’s colon. If you’re still not understanding, maybe this will help. Everyone hates you.




12 replies
  1. ABC
    ABC says:

    truthfully, some of these were pretty innocent comments and you just went off on the commenter. Yes I know everyone is entitled to his or her opinion but for example Maxhelm Motsvor’s comment was just him hyped on the video and you just went off on him. I understand that half of the comments on posts are obnoxious or dumb but definitely don’t warrant these types of responses. In reality, you’re responding to obnoxiousness and meanness with obnoxiousness and meanness which is definitely maturity at its finest. RIP GRAMMAR NAZI

  2. d.f.
    d.f. says:

    http://nickwlipton.com/

    I now know why you called it park stunting… Haha please just stop snowboarding or at least talking about it, you’d save a lot of people from thinking typical snowboarders are narcissistic arrogant assholes like you.

  3. d.f.
    d.f. says:

    happy as fuck to be untypical… seriously though i thought jp walker’s blog was a joke but you should really check out that hipster wannabe’s blog, shit is hilarious.

  4. Dode
    Dode says:

    D.F. I feel as if you are missing the point of Yobeat, “Making fun of snowboarding since 1997”. That being said, Nick is one of the realest dudes out there. Go read TransWorld or something. They seem to cater to a more “snobro” friendly atmosphere.

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