How To Crash the Fall Bash (From 3000 Miles Away)

Shockingly, YoBeat didn’t receive an invitation to Jake Burton’s annual Fall Bash this year. Seriously, you complain about the port-a-potties one time and you’re blacklisted for life. We weren’t going to let a silly thing like not being invited stop us from going to the party of the year, though!  So we assembled a group of thugs and set out to cause a little much-needed mayhem at this year’s festivities. Then we realized Vermont is 3000 miles away, and with the way air travel is these days well…

It was time for plan B. We wanted to be part of the party (and hopefully make at least a few people as upset as they were about our presence last year) so we turned to Twitter. When “crashing” a party, the goal is to make sure everyone remembers you were there.We made the official announcement as the families with kids were already starting to arrive:

Totally crashing the @burtonsnowboards party at Jake’s house today with a team of hooligans. Don’t drink the punch!

Now obviously, none of the thugs in our entourage have kids, so we we’re going to go right away. We wanted to wait for the babies to clear out and the real fun to start. But we also needed to prepare.

Anyone have a lead on where we can buy a large amount of Silly String on a Saturday afternoon near Waterbury, VT @burtonsnowboards

oh duh, it’s Halloween season. silly string is everywhere. what better time of year to fly cross country to crash @burtonsnowboards party?

A few hours later it was time to actually show up. First things first, we need to make a statement to let everyone know we were actually there and meant business.

the big moon bouncy thing @Burtonsnowboard fall bash has definitely been urinated in by our entourage.

Sorry kids. One of our thugs has a bladder problem. But between the fact that there’s always a moon bounce, and that someone else had tweeted about it, we weren’t sure anyone would be convinced. It was time for photographic evidence we were actually on the Burton-Carpenter grounds.

was worried sneaking into @Burtonsnowboard #fallbash wouldn’t work. piece of cake!

Done! Now it was time to have a little fun!

you do not want to go near the chocolate fountain @Burtonsnowboard #fallbash . just saying. it may now be tainted.

As usual, the most highly anticipated part of the Fall Bash is the band. Turns out it was the Cold War Kids, who apparently were big a couple years ago? Whatever, we’d never heard of them, but since they obviously kept saying who they were, we could certainly let twitter know that we were there watching.

I have no idea who this band The Cold War Kids are, @Burtonsnowboard #fallbash but I am within reach of the plug to the sound. Pull it?

This update actually received multiple responses encouraging us to do exactly that. However, that action was something they might immediately notice and then kick us out. And we weren’t done yet. It was time for another beer and some observation.

@Burtonsnowboard hey any inside info on which beer line is the shortest at #fallbash ? we keep getting the shaft with the wait.

Just caught Ellery Hollingsworth double dipping @Burtonsnowboard fall bash.

It was getting late, which meant it was also starting to get cold. As others started complaining about the dropping temperature, we took matters into our own hands.

@burtonsnowboard I wasn’t prepared for the cold. But there are coats inside the house. I just grabbed one

Clearly, we were there, we were eating, drinking and having fun. But we needed to make sure that there was no doubt in anyone’s minds (we were pretty stealth and mostly avoided being seen.) It was time to check in on 4square.

I’m at Burton Fall Bash w/4 others @burtonsnowboard

Done and done. It was official. We succeeded in crashing the Fall Bash and everyone knew it. The only thing left to do was to make our exit with a little bit of fanfare.

This party sort of sucks & the band is terrible but we don’t want to walk back up hill to our cold car. @Burtonsnowboard is there a shuttle?

As before, @Burtonsnowboard didn’t respond to our tweet. Jerks. We were out of there, so it was time for one final tweet, in case anyone else wanted to follow our lead.

we are over this @Burtonsnowboard party. we have sabotaged various aspects. Now we are all headed to ESox in Burlington.

And that was our 2010 Fall Bash experience. Will we get any angry phone calls this year? Doubtful. Will this post get any silly comments from upset Burton grunts? Possibly. But really, the highlight of this year’s Bash for us was a very nice @ reply from Burton’s Social Media manager.

Suprised I missed you guys. Have a good stay in VT and safe travels home.

Thank you! We had a great time.

19 replies
  1. lateness
    lateness says:

    you’re kind of retarded guys… i mean… not in the good way: you laugh at burton but then take their monney for the fuck it ads? wtf? etics?

  2. Nick.
    Nick. says:

    @lateness there is a good way to be retarded?

    This is why yobeat rules, i’d be more offended if they said burton was great because they are taking their money.

    funny post.

  3. jerm
    jerm says:

    the port o potties we the best ive ever seen this year. they had mirrors and a foot pump operated sink in them. i was very impressed

  4. hahaha
    hahaha says:

    agree with ‘lateness’. dont try to be cool with the kids by doggin the people that are paying you off in the back alley for sucking them off

  5. Fonzie
    Fonzie says:

    ^^ Burton could take it like that, or they could see the humor and wittiness of this and laugh it off. We’ll see if F’it is still the YoBeat background after the work week/Monday rolls around.

  6. Dirk Dicks
    Dirk Dicks says:

    Forum/Burton couldn’t be any angrier about this than they were about their Forum Contact Review by the always amazing Diamond Donny.

  7. Ralph
    Ralph says:

    Those porto potties lacked lighting though, every time I took a piss I had to point and hope, however now that you say there were sinks Jerm, maybe that’s what I pissed in?

  8. BagsO'Ass
    BagsO'Ass says:

    Speaking of lack of lights, I came out of one that smelled particularly ripe and a girl went in after me. She immediately ran out saying there was a tird on the floor. Either I took a shit and didnt know it, or the lack of lighting hid the fucker from me. Glow sticks taped to the ceiling work well for lighting port-o-pots. Just a thought….

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