High Fives with Todd Richards—BP OIL SPILL!

hfbp

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard from Todd, but he’s back with vengeance people. So buckle up and read on as Todd dishes out some serious hate towards BP’s CEO and all sorts of things. Get wicked, express yourself and remember, if Todd’s correct, God hates you.

When I say “BP Oil Spill” what comes to mind?

A baseball bat, a pair of hedge clippers,and some duck-tape, oh and chocolate chip cookies. The cookies are for me though. The rest is for the CEO of British Petroleum.

In terms of punishment, what should happen to the CEO of BP?

Honey on the testicles and then a bunch of red ants. Either that or he has to spin a big arrow that says, “sorry” for the rest of his life in downtown New Orleans.

Would you rather be a pelican covered in oil or a fish covered in oil?

Well, I would think a fish, because I could possibly escape the black death. A bird, on the other hand, is pretty fucked. I don’t know how we can make this shit funny. It’s just so stupid. Anyhow, I would funnel white hot BBs into that CEO’s pee hole no problem.

Do you think God hates Louisiana, and what will their next disaster be?

I think God hates everything. He is an equal opportunity hater. I just think that Louisiana is like the Walmart of smiting for him. One stop smiting center. Gets em all in one swoop.

What is your advice to Obama for how to handle the situation?

Distract everyone with a war against North Korea! Yeah that ought to do it. Maybe play one on one with Lebron James? Fuck man, I really wanted to believe that Obama was going to do something different, make a difference, fuck he’s just as bad as the dumb fuck cowboy.

8 replies
  1. Gerg!
    Gerg! says:

    As much as I also dislike this whole thing (including BP), we should really all be pointing fingers at ourselves too. Guess who likes driving to the mountains, or the beach, or uses plastic products, or has goods delivered to their grocery stores, or uses fresh water… and the list goes on. I am not sure which is worse, sending our money to crazies in the Middle East, or taking risks drilling domestically. I do feel as though we should definitely start spending money on researching alternatives… and ALL the consequences (because mining heavy metals to make batteries for your Prius is probably as bad if not worse than burning oil).

    I don’t have one, just comments

  2. Gerg!
    Gerg! says:

    That last bit was referring to me providing a solution instead of just soapboxing it around here, but yobeat didn’t like my funny HTML tag jokes…

  3. 720boardshop
    720boardshop says:

    its been a while but Todd hasn’t lost a step “fuck he’s just as bad as the dumb fuck cowboy.” hahaha I told you! I said that shit when they were plastering his face all over Denver claiming it was going to be so different. a politician is a fucking politician!!! Remember kids never trust anyone over 30 (and I’m well over 30)

  4. Blake Geis
    Blake Geis says:

    “he’s just as bad as the dumb fuck cowboy” is the smartest thing i have heard in a week

  5. scarney
    scarney says:

    Obama = diversion

    Presidents aren’t picked to make change, they’re picked for their ability to keep things as they are. Obama was what was needed right now to appease our half-assed american desire for change.

    Wise-ass TR, always quick with the great wit – please turn this into a Bluntmag-era video show(talk show even?) some day….

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