My friends, we have business to discuss, and it is of the gravest importance.
Just like wakeboarding rips off snowboarding, and skiing rips off circus clowns — snowboarding rips off skateboarding all the time. At some point we must draw the line, and friends, that time is now. This is a proclamation, here and now, that we, as snowboarders, must agree to never, ever use the term “bolts” (again) to refer to a landing.
According to the urban dictionary, bolts is defined as everything from a Nazi symbol, to testicles, and when used (inappropriately) in snowboarding, it’s a perfect landing — not a tail wheelie, hand-drag or buttcheck. But in snowboarding, it’s also retarded, cause guess what? You are attached to your bolts. Bound, you might say, by those plastic things you strap to your boots.
I turned to our resident skate nerd, the noob, to make sure I wasn’t being out of line. Sure enough he confirmed. In skateboarding, where (surprise!) the term came from, it’s best to land on your bolts. Your weight is centered, it looks good, and your tail won’t break off because you’re a big fat ass. However, in snowboarding, literally every landing, whether it’s a pretty much a make, or perfectly smooth, is technically “bolts.” Remember, they’re right under your feet all the time. So again, calling a snowboard trick “bolts” is retarded.
Once upon a time, we let the ollie sneak in to our snowboard vocabulary. You can argue all you want that the motion is the same, but you’re attached, making it little more than “jumping.” And while we’re at it, same with “grinding.” Even if you happened, so many years ago, to be riding a snowboard with skateboard trucks as a graphic, there are still no actual trucks on your snowboard. I don’t care if it sounds stupid to say “50-50 slide.” That’s what it is.
But it doesn’t have to happen again. Look at the terms nosepress and tailpress (if you call it a 5-0, fuck that noise) — those are two perfectly original and apt terms. I know we don’t rely entirely on skateboarding for our lexicon (that means dictionary, dummy, read a book).
I get it. It’s just slang. Like sick or fresh or tight or any of the other dumb words we use all-too-regularly, the meaning has become blurred. But snowboarding is lame enough as it is, so let’s let the skateboarders have this one. Just once. If we use our brains, and have a little self-respect, we can easily come up with our own slang. Like crossbow.
https://yobeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/bolts.jpg413500Brooke Geeryhttp://yobeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/yobeatdotcomsite.jpgBrooke Geery2009-11-23 06:00:382015-02-17 10:28:57Keep Bolts Out of Snowboarding