Keep Bolts Out of Snowboarding

Bolts

My friends, we have business to discuss, and it is of the gravest importance.

Just like wakeboarding rips off snowboarding, and skiing rips off circus clowns — snowboarding rips off skateboarding all the time. At some point we must draw the line, and friends, that time is now. This is a proclamation, here and now, that we, as snowboarders, must agree to never, ever use the term “bolts” (again) to refer to a landing.

According to the urban dictionary, bolts is defined as everything from a Nazi symbol, to testicles, and when used (inappropriately) in snowboarding, it’s a perfect landing — not a tail wheelie, hand-drag or buttcheck. But in snowboarding, it’s also retarded, cause guess what? You are attached to your bolts. Bound, you might say, by those plastic things you strap to your boots.

I turned to our resident skate nerd, the noob, to make sure I wasn’t being out of line. Sure enough he confirmed. In skateboarding, where (surprise!) the term came from, it’s best to land on your bolts. Your weight is centered, it looks good, and your tail won’t break off because you’re a big fat ass. However, in snowboarding, literally every landing, whether it’s a pretty much a make, or perfectly smooth, is technically “bolts.” Remember, they’re right under your feet all the time. So again, calling a snowboard trick “bolts” is retarded.

Once upon a time, we let the ollie sneak in to our snowboard vocabulary. You can argue all you want that the motion is the same, but you’re attached, making it little more than “jumping.” And while we’re at it, same with “grinding.” Even if you happened, so many years ago, to be riding a snowboard with skateboard trucks as a graphic, there are still no actual trucks on your snowboard. I don’t care if it sounds stupid to say “50-50 slide.” That’s what it is.

But it doesn’t have to happen again. Look at the terms nosepress and tailpress (if you call it a 5-0, fuck that noise) — those are two perfectly original and apt terms. I know we don’t rely entirely on skateboarding for our lexicon (that means dictionary, dummy, read a book).

I get it. It’s just slang. Like sick or fresh or tight or any of the other dumb words we use all-too-regularly, the meaning has become blurred. But snowboarding is lame enough as it is, so let’s let the skateboarders have this one. Just once. If we use our brains, and have a little self-respect, we can easily come up with our own slang. Like crossbow.

63 replies
  1. the n00b
    the n00b says:

    I think the Scorp is a legit term no matter what you’re doing. I’ve seen soccer players and people tripping on the street get a Scorpion, and it’s HILARIOUS every time.

  2. casual
    casual says:

    Scorpion is acceptable because kicking yourself in the back of the head as your face slides across pavement/snow/etc. looks like a scorpion.

  3. claiminhard
    claiminhard says:

    Theres bolts on your bindings??? How would you know wakeboarding rips off snowboarding? Do you wackboard??? How do you know? People might have wackboarded before they snowboarded…

  4. claiminhard
    claiminhard says:

    You want cab out of snowboarding?? Theres a difference between cab and switch in snowboarding bud. Especially on rails. Don’t comment if your a clueless retard. Ya ever seen MFM nollie bra.

  5. rouki
    rouki says:

    I hate cab too, it doesnt mean a shit in snowboarding. You ride a fuckin twintip centered board, so there’s no fakie, only switch. Okay switch nollie looks pretty dumb in skateboarding, because it’s fakie, but in snowboarding, it’s NOT fakie. Fakie doesnt exist, so cab just can’t happen…

  6. Cooper
    Cooper says:

    Alright so we should do away with blunts then too since snowboarders have no trucks? Then what would all the white suburban thugs call the one trick they still all do?

  7. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    I gotta disagree with striking “cab” from our sicktionary. It refers to how you take off while riding switch. I hate to tell all you “hard claimers” but there definately is a difference between going switch frontside off your tail and switch frontside off your nose. And I’ve gotta disagree with Brooke on the “ollie” thing too. There is a huge difference between “bunny hoping” and “ollieing” considering a lot of newbie gapers tend to just hop on their boards rather than loading the tail first and springing off it (that being the ollie)

    Besides, if it weren’t for skateboarding, we never would have started halfpipe riding, park riding, or urban jibbing.

  8. souney
    souney says:

    Cab once wrote a letter to a BMX magazine asking them to please stop referring to backwards approach 180s as “Cab” as it was a skate terminology.

    The ollie is an act of using the feet to pop a board up. It’s a physical act using, well physics. What’s called an ollie on a snowboard is nothing more than, well, jumping. It’s not an ollie on rollerblades for a reason.

  9. MAtt
    MAtt says:

    Right on jimbo, if the claimers are saying that a cab 180 should just be called a switch 180 then a nollie 180 is just a 180? And souney your reference to rollerblading with an ollie makes no sense, i see what your trying to do but it doesn’t work. Since you are facing forward on rollerblades and sideways on a skateboard, the way you “jump” has no relevance. Sure the way you ollie on a snowboard is different than a skateboard. With snowboarding you start your ollie with your front foot and follow with your back and skateboarding being the opposite however, the outcome is the same, an ollie. Nose pops up first with your tail following, rather than a hop. I mean shit this isn’t rocket science. And who cares just ride your snowboard.

    Oh and we have skiers to thank for some of the riding today, Anyone ever seen ariel skiing, I have a feeling that has some part in how parks started. Those dudes are fucking gnarly.

  10. Nelson Reederman
    Nelson Reederman says:

    BROOKE YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT! I read the first 2 paragraphs and then realized that i have something way better to do. Honestly the worst bull shit i have ever read in my entire life.

    But i mean you bring up a good point, should we not call hitting a golf ball “driving” because that is what we do in car? I mean they stole it didn’t they?

  11. cory
    cory says:

    Nelson, you can’t start off a paragraph with “your a fucking idiot” and not know how to spell. It makes your case get thrown out right off the proverbial bat.

    Scorp stays.

  12. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    Rollerblading reference= gay

    You should have compared it to it not being an ollie in SKIING. But still, it seems that some people are still missing the difference between and ollie and a bunny hop on a snowboard. It not like you just jump with both feet at the same time. If that what you guys are doing, well, lets just say you most likely get chuckled at by the passer-byers on the chairlift as you awkwardly hop onto rails and boxes.

    Load the nose first and snap the tail up = Nollie, Load the tail first and snap the nose up = Ollie
    There has to be a differentiating term for the two because they’re two separate tricks. What’s next? Are we going to start writing to Thrasher Mag telling them they aren’t allowed to use terms like “cork” or “off-axis” because they’re snowboard tricks? Do we now strike from our vocabulary terms such as “McTwist” and “Rodeo” and “Japan” and “Method” and “Indy” and…. well I think you get the point. If we’re going to get rid of terms like “cab” and “ollie” than we might as well re-name the entire snowboard trick catalog because, I hate to tell you, they’re all named after skate tricks. If anything we should be hating on the kids doing so-called “kickflips” on snowboard, because that’s not even close to what a kickflip is.

    And I think, while Brooke makes a fairly good point considering the “bolts” are always under your feet, I don’t mind it being referred to as a clean landing centered on the board rather than in the backseat. But still, we already have a term for that, it’s called STOMPED!!!!

  13. the n00b
    the n00b says:

    Well at least with grabs, McTwists, and that kind of stuff, it’s the same move. I’m not even opposed to the ollie, because, well, fuck it at this point, it’s been called that forever. WTF is a kickflip on a snowboard, and how did anybody name it without getting totally called out?

  14. funny story
    funny story says:

    It’s funny because this story now has more lines on ollie vs bunny hop and cab vs switch frontside then the story has lines. Can’t we just say that “bolts” is the new hot word and will be gone when JP walker comes up with something else to say. I mean snowboarding, shredding, riding whatever your gonna call it is just a good time. Plus who else remembers when MFM called his snowboard a “stunt”, that is something worth 19 comments

  15. backyardbang
    backyardbang says:

    theres a difference between sw 180 and halfcab onto a picnic table. If you dont know the difference you dont know how to snowboard.

  16. Plugs
    Plugs says:

    Bolts is incredibly pathetic, I agree with Brooke on this one. Fuck tailpress though, it’s a 5/0. Nosepress’, are presses, not grind’s so you can’t call them nosegrinds…but 5/0’s you don’t have to attatch “grind” onto it.

    Skateboards stole “butter” check it out, maybe it’s an East Coast thing but lots of skate heads throw butter around when clearly you can’t butter on a goddamn skateboard. So fuck it.

  17. john
    john says:

    i guess the new trend now a days is to hate on snowboarding and talk about how gay it is and how much cooler skateboarding is….seems everybody is doing it

  18. Mel
    Mel says:

    ummm…. am i living under a huge rock? i have never heard OR used the term “bolts”

    when i saw this on the homepage i thought it was in reference to keeping bolts out of our bodies…seeing as i’ve had 6 screws and a plate in my shoulder.

    am i alone on this?

  19. asscrack
    asscrack says:

    Basically if you hang around people who say bolts then your a tool. Maybe you just need to find new friends and you won’t have to claim how cool you are cause you’ve been riding for sooooooo long.

  20. a
    a says:

    POINTS (and keep in mind that, yes, I am the ultimate authority):

    I’m cool with “snowboard cab.” It’s close enough.

    I don’t ride duck, so when I’m going backwards it’s fakie. Deal.

    While “snowboard ollie,” any sort of “grind,” and landing “bolts” are all obviously silly: the mitigating factor in all of this is snowboarding is actually best when it’s shamelessly copying…history has shown that when left to its own devices, the results can be horrific: doublegrabs, the Michael Jackson, Mambosoks, etc… It’s not worth it to allow snowboarding to make its own decisions. If you snowboard to be like a snowboarder, you’re doing it wrong. You should snowboard to be like Mark Gonzales or Larry Bertelman.

    …sorry, but it’s true.

  21. bob
    bob says:

    “Just like wakeboarding rips of snowboarding”

    Wakeboarding doesn’t rip “of” anything.

    Saying that skiers rip off circus clowns to “stir the pot” is just as lame as that conservative talk-show hoser saying the President is a racist… straight up Republican butt-fucking gay right there. Congratulations on yet another page of suck.

    Everyone knows that snowboarding is just an excuse to suck at skateboarding and if you don’t know you better ask somebody.

  22. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    Right on n00b, I totally agree with that. I’m for keeping them I just used them as an extreme-example. As for kickfliping snowboarders, peep any think thank video. I’m not exactly sure what you would call that, but it’s certainly not a kickflip. Maybe a gayflip?

    And wait. What skateboarders use “butter” and to refer to what exactly? I understand you can butter on one of those whacky three-wheeled free board things, but if they’re referring to anything else it has to be a power slide.

    What’s next… slashing in cement pools on skateboards?

  23. hate09
    hate09 says:

    Didn’t Brooke get voted off YoBeat? What happened to that? The only reason she should still be allowed to post is so people can write angry comments, but I only saw one of those. Where did she come from anyways? What’s her claim to snowboarding?

  24. eatithard
    eatithard says:

    yeah bolts are awesome, the term afterbang was invented by snowboarders at least i think. I love it all. MFM doesnt suck at skateboarding, neither does Noah Salasnek. Shawn White kinda blows though so yeah snowboarding is an excuse to suck at skateboarding. And Jimbro, your so core I dont even know what to say, right on brother, keep up the coreness. You know so much…

  25. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    You know the only posts I’ve ever seen you make are re-iterating something someone else said or ripping on me for “knowing so much”

    Seriously dude, if you don’t like the posts you have our permission to go no further than the end of the article. Unless, of course, you actually happen to have your own opinion on something. You should go back to skiing at Alta with the rest of the elitist fanny-pack-wearing gapers. Snowboarding is doing just fine without you keeping it in check.

    And I doubt that Brooke would get “voted off” a website that she’s the editor of. I mean, I’m all for riping on her too, but without her “YoBeat” would be no more than some lame colloquialism thugs shouted out at clubs when their favorite song came on. We should at least give her that…

  26. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    I’m all for the shit talking man, its my favorite part. But arguing with you is like trying to teach my dog her ABC’s, kinda pointless…

    On that note, this may very well be the most attention this website has received from any two posters in a span of a few hours.

  27. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    Oh wait, I just assumed that asscrack’s post was eatithard’s post. All this arguing is making my vision blur…

    Apparently hate09 held some kind of YoBeat tribal council and voted her off. I apparently didn’t get the memo…

  28. HBake
    HBake says:

    ollie, nollie, and cab should stay. 5/0 should go, imo. if you think about what you’re actually doing it seems more appropriate to call it a tailpress. leave 5/0 for when you’re balancing on your back truck. bolts should def go as well…then again they’re just words, so say what you want.

  29. look
    look says:

    its way cooler to say switch nollie front side 450 to 360 switch up to 180 pretzel to bradshaw sliders outers than cab 450 to 360 switch up to 180 pretezel to bradshaw sliders outers

  30. the n00b
    the n00b says:

    last i checked, skateboarders use “butter” as a synonym for “smooth,” not for powerslides — extreme example is the whole slew of “Buttery-ass” junk on Berra’s site. a skateboarder who was really into Shorty’s 10 years ago might have done a super buttery kickflip noseslide, but never will (or should) you hear Pat Rakestraw, one of the only dudes I’ve seen do it, call a powerslide to slappy anything but that. i prefer to think he’d come up with a sweet name like a Run-for-the-Border or The Confederate’s Revenge. damn, i think i need to go make up some tricks real quick.

  31. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    Ha, That makes a bit more sense I guess, there’s nothing buttery about a power-slide, but I can see it used to describe the smoothness of the trick.

    “Run for the Boarder” sounds like the name of a 90’s snowboard video staring the Mexican Snowboard Team

  32. mjd
    mjd says:

    “So again, calling a snowboard trick “bolts” is retarded.”

    Quite possibly the truest statement ever uttered.

  33. bob
    bob says:

    Holy Fagness… skateboarders stole “butter” from snowboarding?

    Plugs I’ll bet you use butter to lube your sheep’s bumhole before you get to humping. I dunno where you’re from though, maybe you like pigs or donkeys… same principle.

    I guess Q-Tip also stole the term “butter” from snowboarding, but way before Craig Kelly (RIP) coined the term? Tip stole “butter” from snowboarding’s godfather’s womb? Wow.

    Not no Parkay, not no margarine- strictly butter.. strictly butter.

  34. ted
    ted says:

    BAHAHAHA!

    THIS MADE MY DAY.

    ARGUING ABOUT SNOWBOARD “TRICK NAMES” IS AS RAD AS COMPARING SKIING, ROLLERBLADE, KNEEBOARDING, FRUIT BOOTING, AND OR RAZOR-SCOOTIN TRICKS.

    (REALLY REALLY GAY).

    EVERYTHING ABOUT SNOWBOARDING IS A DIRECT RIP-OFF OF SKATEBOARDING. DEAL WITH IT. EVERYTHING BESIDES GRINDING/JIBBING/SLIDDING AND FLIP TRICKS IS… (pause) EXACTLY THE SAME…

    AND YES… SKATEBOARDING IS HARDER/COOLER THAN THIS RICH “SPORT” FULL OF WANNABE “DIRT BAGS” AND DAYGLO BRO’S.

  35. Mort
    Mort says:

    I think all snowboarding tricks should be referenced with elaborate hand signs and telepathic syntax.
    Not dis similar to the complex coding used by ‘ Wind Talkers’ in WW2.

  36. the smuggler
    the smuggler says:

    jordan mendenhall definitely invented the butter. One day when he was 8 yrs old on his trampoline.

    Cab, McTwist, Ollie, Nollie… really? They evolved from skateboarding and have similar movement from a sideways standpoint so why not? Most of you have started snowboarding either because you began as skateboarders or you’ve at least always respected snowboarding so… It’s better than calling it something completely different and then all of you fools trying to say something like “well, it’s like an ollie, but you can’t call it an ollie because it’s snowboarding and it’s really a , but it basically looks the same as an ollie.” Or even worse than that, you all suddenly become skateboarders and begin polluting that scene with trick names from snowboarding. Wouldn’t that be so much worse when you are describing a snowboard trick and then the lifelong skateboarder says “oh, like an ollie, why don’t you just call it an ollie, I don’t get it?”

    Brooke was really voted off in her very own YoBeat poll. Had she actually stopped writing though, I probably wouldn’t be reading anymore. She gets everyone all fired up enough to comment and it’s funny.

    Bolts is kind of dumb to say in any aspect, but snowboards do have them and if you don’t land on them you’re probably going to break a bone or two. But yeah, it sounds kind of dumb to claim or say.

    fire away

  37. Karen
    Karen says:

    i’ve been snowboarding for 13 yrs and working in snowboarding for six years.
    not once have I heard someone say bolts and it really doesn’t sound like a big deal. this is a shitty article. Brooke you really are an idiot. no one thinks you’re a good writer. sorry.

  38. eatshit
    eatshit says:

    brooke is reeaaalll good at skateboarding. ain’t you seen it? she is the skateboard loc dawg and has to make sure that this weak ass snowboard shit doesnt bite skateboarding. no more skateboarding snowboarders. shits so beat. like yobeat.

  39. Max M
    Max M says:

    you are bogus. for wasting your time thinking about snowboarding lingo rather than snowboarding. i hate you for this. you your self are turning snowboarding into the circus act that it is. i started snowboarding because it looked fun and because i already skated. now thanks to you i never want to snowboard again. snowboarding is fun, not a “cool” lifestyle so give it up.

  40. and FUCK the n00b
    and FUCK the n00b says:

    Yeah, and fuck that asshole that writes the n00b too. He obviously doesn’t get how seriously snowboarding should be taken. This is fun, not a fucking joke! He doesn’t even snowboard! What a tool.

  41. purplesprite
    purplesprite says:

    if saying “bolts” gets an article on yobeat then why hasnt jeremy jones been shot in the face yet for doing a bakers dozen three-shuvs in the b?

    and whoever wrote this article is a total fuck off and is obviously way to cool to go snowboarding with me cause i say bolts, cab, ollie, nollie and five oh.

  42. Brooke is an idiot
    Brooke is an idiot says:

    LEXICON means vocabulary or speech! Not “a dictionary”. Idiot. have you ever heard someone say “go look it up in the lexicon”. Quit using words you don’t even know…especially in a boring, meaningless rant. Funny thing is, lexicon can be found translated as dictionary on the web…so you must have had to look that one up, big boy. My bullshit meter is beeping…gotta go. You’re gay

  43. Leichte Rollatoren
    Leichte Rollatoren says:

    Cool design, my blogger friend.Is this one limited or a free design? Iam new in this whole internet blogging thing and want to begin my personal web logs with wordpress. I like you blog design and the contents you provide. Is there any suchlike theme out there? I don’t want to replicate or imitate your blog. Imitating is for chinese ;-). Compliments for sweden

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  1. […] in you; it’s probably the best thing you could do.  It’s way the fuck better than “bolts.” •    Nick Lipton – I’ve seen more mustaches in your articles and photos than anywhere […]

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