High Fives with Todd Richards: Whales Vagina!


So I just did a week in San Diego. It was crazy. The adults worked out all day, and I don’t think anyone had a job. The Mexicans were tough and the white boys were insane. Why anyone would wanna live there I don’t know. I guess the beach was nice.  Seeing as Todd chooses to live there, what is his excuse?

1) Best reason for living in Encinitas?

Todd: Being really close to Tony Hawk, the Panakin, and the Beacons.

2) Does life that far south ever feel like a constant Mexican vacation?

Seeing as I eat Mexican food like five times a week and I have constant gas, yes it does. TJ is really only a stones throw away. San Diego is really just the nice part of TJ.

3) Is the Mexican food in San Diego better than it is in Mexico?

Yes and no. Some will argue that in order to have the authentic Mexican experience you must find at least one dead fly or long dark hair in your taquito. Sometimes you don’t get that in Mexico.

4) Are you afraid your son will grow up and become a mongo-pushing-boardwalk-San-Diegoan dude bro?

Hell no. He already has been verbally abused into not pushing mongo.

5) If you were to die in San Diego would you rather die in a publicly viewed shark attack, or by the hands of Chicano gangsters?

Oh man, did you hear there was a juvenile great white attack in Carlsbad two days ago. It didn’t feast on her flesh, but just nibbie nibbied on the chick’s legs and feat. I’m pretty sure that Chicano gangsters wouldn’t nibble me to death and I don’t like being aggressively nibbled, that’s why I hate those fucking vampires.

Bonus: Do you think you live in San Diego because you’ve secretly begun to realize how cold snowboarding can be?

Well you know that Encinitas is God’s waiting room for aging snowboarders. It’s like what the elephants do, we all just migrate to this place, we don’t know why, we wait for our sponsors to decide that they are not paying us to surf and then our budgets suddenly disappear only to have the cash mysteriously re-appear to fund wack-ass parties celebrating the release of a new keychain line.

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