High Fives with Todd Richards- Mexican Drugs!


Word on the street is that Mexico decided to legalize a “personal amount” of most drugs.  Watch out spring breakers, this year should be crazy with all the legal meth around. Being as close to Mexico as possible, and old as hell, Todd knows a thing or two about Mexico, spring break, and drugs, so we had him weigh in on this ground breaking development.

1) Mexico just made it legal to carry a “personal” amount of most drugs. How will this change spring break?

Todd: Hmm, what is a personal amount? Because I know some dudes who personally need a fuck-ton. That is really interesting that Mexico did that because they recently made “being a gringo” a crime there punishable by random fine or jail time.

2) The new law allows for .5 of a gram of cocaine, in your pocket, without arrest, but is buying blow in Mexico ever a good choice?

Todd: Oh man, if you are in Mexico trying to find the devil’s dandruff you are in a rough place. Don’t you know that you can go to your local douchebaggery and find a cocktard with jelled hair and the finest Columbian marching powder?

3) Do you think this new Mexican law applies to Gringo tourists?

Todd: There has to be a catch to that law. Like if you are a Mexican and can afford coke it’s cool because you can also pay off the pretend police. Again, being gringo and wearing a striped shirt can land you in jail. Pretty sure the “laws” in Mexico are only suggestions.

4) You’re allowed to carry a little herion and meth, about 40 mg’s a piece. But people that do those drugs do them all the time, do you think that part of the law was a joke?

Todd: I suggest that you don’t stuff 65 kilos of Mr. Brownstone in a Labrador Retriever and try and smuggle it into the USA. Jesus, 40 mg of meth? Is this to try and combat the cartels? Wow spring break is going to be like a whole new thing. Come on down to Squid Row for .99 cent tacos and meth! Then we have a tourist beheading at midnight, arriba! Human pinatas stuffed with heroin balloons.

5) If you were going to be killed and stuffed with drugs what drug would you prefer to be stuffed with?

Todd: Shit, maybe Viagra? No, maybe Penicillin. I don’t think that I would like to be stuffed with any drug, but I do think that if I was going to die and there was no way that I would pull out of the morbid nose dive that a heroin overdose would be the most glamorous. Like if I got brain cancer, throat cancer, breast cancer, and testicular cancer coupled with herpes I would want the giant warm fuzzy way out. But for reals, Mexico legalized drugs but can’t fucking get anything else together? Jesus Cristo, Vicodin and horse tranqs are going to be the rage in San Diego.

10 replies
  1. Zimmerman
    Zimmerman says:

    No Todd, nothing that invasive. Just got robbed by the pretend police, so did 3 other car loads of shred dudes on the same day, in different spots, at different times of day.

  2. mel
    mel says:

    i have never been to the horrible parts of Mexico…and personally this article really seals the deal on never planning that trip. i mean i’m white and i have tits and a vag – im pretty much just asking for it…

  3. Good one Mel, moron
    Good one Mel, moron says:

    I have never been to the gay parts of San Francisco…I mean really, these articles on AIDS seals the deal for me. I mean I’m black, have a huge swinging dick and a tight ass – I’m pretty much asking for it…

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