High Fives with Todd Richards: Legalize It!


This shitty economy has wrecked havoc on many a bank account, but that drug war keeps raging which can only mean one thing, people are smoking a lot of weed. The topic of legalized Mary-J has been on the tip of everyone’s tongues as of late and for a good reason. Why not take the violence out of the marijuana business? Why not throw a tax on it? The money involved in growing, processing, distributing, and purchasing that wacky tobaccy could bail out a lot of downtrodden families. But how do parents feel about this? How does the older crowd view this progressive stance on an age old controversy? I asked father, grown-up, and all around smart guy Todd Richards to get the adult perspective.

1) Should pot be legalized?

Todd: Oh, the pot. Man, taking the pot legally damn. I don’t know. I mean if they legalize pot what’s next, gay marriage? Honestly, if we don’t legalize pot I think we are fucking stupid. You want to fix the debt in this country? Make devil lettuce a highly taxed substance. One things for sure, there would be a lot more hippies crying about change.

2) Would pot farmers become the new backbone of America? Would we begin to hold pot growers dear to our hearts like we do the potato farmer?

Todd: Do we really hold potato farmers close to our hearts? I thought that was hair farmers. This argument has been going on since the cave man smoked a fatty with a Pteranodon. You know what I really think, weed makes anything taste better. I think we should be advocating weed instead of using salt. Shit man, when I used to be into doing weed I could seriously enjoy eating anything. I think eating a shit would not be out of the question. However my affair with herb weedness went out because I had all of the cliche side effects. Paranoia, body twitches, lack of motivation, bad at math, etc.

3) What should the purchasing age be on legal dope?

Todd: I would go with 21. That being the legal age to binge drink and gamble.

4) What is the best pot in the world and where can people find it?

Todd: I don’t know man, what the flying fuck, do I look like god dammed Bob Marley? You know I don’t mind weed and people that smoke weed at all, but I fucking can’t stand the dudes that all they do is talk about weed, and dank this and dank that. They giggle all the time and pretend they are smoking rolled up napkins and shit. I would think that the best weed is probably just up in Humbolt County, Ca. Isn’t there some space weed the government grows called like Psycho 69 or something? Call Nate Bozung, he probably has the government on speed dial.

5) Will legalizing weed be a gateway amendment to legalizing cocaine? Meth? Heroin? Murder?

Todd: Damn Gina! The way that I see it, it’s your body fucking kill yourself, but leave me alone. Go and coke yourself senseless, go and meth yourself into a toothless grin, give Mr. Brownstone a shot, but for fucks sake, don’t drive, don’t come near me or my family, and don’t try and scam change from me at 711 while I am reading the new X-box magazine. As long as you’re not a danger to anyone but yourself go for it. It’s fine for grandpa to drink himself into a fondling stupor but taking a hit of weed will get you a face down knee back by Johnny Law.

4 replies
  1. DANK
    DANK says:

    weed is fun, makes bad food good, makes video games more fun.
    on the other side if you do weed with people who are annoying or your not comfortable around it makes them way worse, makes skateboarding infintely harder personally, and costs money.

  2. Chastang
    Chastang says:

    First of all you don’t “do” weed you smoke it. And if weed gets legalized its going to suck, if the government wants to make any money out of it they will have to put their foot down to outsell and lock up illegal growers, which in turn will make it harder for kids like me to get weed considering the age limit… Everyone knows that if you have money that could be the governments and instead its in your pocket, they will not like you and theyre going to spread your buttcheeks. There is a huge colony of hippies and what not who have dedicated their whole lives to growing pot and making good strains for us to clone and produce for everyone to smoke so why hand over all that hard work to the government just so you can smoke a joint in your house without getting in trouble with the authorities…. Oh wait people have been doing that for decades!

Comments are closed.