A Hump Day Tail of the Spacecraft Bunny

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Mascot party. photo courtesy Spacecraft Clothing.

If you’ve been to an event in the Northwest, you’ve seen the Spacecraft Bunny. But you may wonder, who is the bunny? What’s the tail behind the ears? Well, your friends at YoBeat set out to find out.

Yobeat: Are you a mascot? Or are you just a weirdo in a bunny suit?

Bunny: Negative. Bunny suit? This is all natural! I am one hundred percent bunny!

Yobeat: Does the bunny have a name?

Bunny: I was born Clarence Gene Montgomery, but now I just go by Spacecraft Bunny.

Yobeat: Why a bunny? Bunnies aren’t very strong or anything. From what I can tell, all they do is eat and poop pellets.

Bunny: Why a bunny? It just makes sense… Dude, pellets are for those little sissy bunnies. I’m kinda like popeye, mild mannered ’til I get my spinach–except my spinach is booze.

Yobeat: How did the bunny come to be? Did Spacecraft find you? Were you a wild bunny?

Bunny: I am originally from Reno, but I joined a death metal band and toured the east coast. Things didn’t work out and I ended being a roadie for some hesh band, traveling from dive bar to dive bar. When I came to Seattle, I met Spacecraft. They liked how I partied, and I liked their stickers. The rest is history. I’m actually going through my memoirs right now and trying to compile a book: The Life and Times Of The Spacecraft Bunny. One day…

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Bunny power. photo courtesy Spacecraft Clothing.

Yobeat: Is there only one bunny?

Bunny: Just me, but I get around. I spend a lot of time in Colorado and New York, but I live here in the Northwest.

Yobeat: How old are you? How long do you expect to live?

Bunny: Age is in the mind, I will live forever, some way or another.

Yobeat: Do you snowboard?

Bunny: Hell yeah. Some days I rip more than others.

Yobeat: What are your responsibilities to Spacecraft?

Bunny: Party.

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Bunny homies. photo courtesy Spacecraft Clothing.

Yobeat: What is a bunny’s hygiene like?

Bunny: Usually consists of not showering, brushing my teeth with Jack Daniels, and rolling around in dirt or whatever else is on the floor.

Yobeat: Who are some notable people you have met?

Bunny: I get around. I’m social butterfly in a pretty elite social crowd. Just kidding. But I’ve been to some parties with celebrities. I snuck on stage at Pennywise this last year. They were cool, I got to rock out for a couple songs.

Yobeat: Have you ever been abused? Please share a story.

Everyday. People either want to fight me or grope me. I prefer the latter because I’m a lover. One time this dude tackled me pretty hard in front of a Zumiez party. But then when he wasn’t looking five minutes later, I tackled him from behind. It was awesome, he didn’t even see it coming. His face totally whipped into the concrete, I thought I killed him, but he laughed so it was cool…

Yobeat: Have you ever been in trouble with the law?

Bunny: I’m not at liberty to say.

Yobeat: What is a bunny’s favorite drink?

Bunny: Anything tasty that gets the buzz going.

Yobeat: Why don’t more companies have mascots?

Bunny: I’m not a mascot! You mean why don’t other companies have cool party ambassadors? I don’t know but don’t tell Spacecraft that, I told them that all companies have a mandatory party ambassador, like it’s a law or something.

Yobeat: Have you met any other mascots (e.g. Stepchild Chi Guy, The Dingo, Burton monkey thing, Geico gecko, Lib Tech banana, bald eagle, Louie Vito)?

Bunny: What the hell is Chi Guy? The Dingo is definitely a mascot! He tried to front once, but I’d drop a fool. Bananas are cool, I hang with those guys all the time, they know how to party. Isn’t everyone at Burton a monkey thing?

Yobeat: If the bunny could make out with any other mascot, which one would it be?

Bunny: Is Paula Abdul a mascot?

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Bunny jib. Photo Greg Miller.

Yobeat: What does the bunny think about Obama?

Bunny: I’m for him.

Yobeat: Have you ever seen bunny porn?

Bunny: Is that like Kitty Porn?

Yobeat: Any advice you can give the kids who want to be bunnies too?

Bunny: How would a kid morph into a bunny?

Yobeat: What is next for the bunny?

Bunny: Conquering the world.

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Bunny skillz. photo courtesy Spacecraft Clothing.

3 replies
  1. 86
    86 says:

    andrew hart is a horrible writer. I think we should have a readers poll to vote him off this site.

  2. Bunny
    Bunny says:

    86 needs to suck it, Andrew Hart is a talented writer, I’ll punch you in the spleen. Go do something with your life besides raining on other people’s parades. Hart man, keep on keeping on.

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