Mandatory Spring Report

eastcoast

Ice coast:

Live in the Northeast? Bummer, your season is either over, or coming to an end. Better grab a Jagar Bomb and work on that six-pack for the Slush Pool Party April 4th at Loon Mountain! Loon promises to keep the shred alive until mid-April for those not interested in the pool party, even though it already held Last Call.

Living a little further north? Rumor has it Stratton is still open. Skip school, take off work, you know it won’t last for long.

To our good friends in Dirty Jersey, Mountain Creek is fuckin’ closed ok so enjoy some mountain bike contests or the Mountain Creek water-park already. It’s summa’ so jus’ fugheddaboudit and go swimmin’ with ya brothers.

poop

Garbage Mountains:

Moving on to the Midwest. Oh you poor bastards. Sure, we all get it, you can hit handrails, you can spin off oddly built park jumps, but unless you and the boys move to Colorado, or go pro (something you all seem to do) you won’t enjoy powder or a real mountain anytime soon. With Michigan’s Pine Knob closed and Minnesota’s famous Hyland done for the year, it’s about time to drive out for Oregon summer.

flyover

Fly-over state:

Colorado is doing fine, which is no surprise, it’s home to massive mountains and long snowy winters. Even Echo Park is still running, and that’s right outside of Denver. If you are a chick, go to Aspen and poach Gretchen Bleiler’s Snow Angels this weekend. If you are a dude living east or north of Colorado think about going there. If you are living to the west, it’s not worth it.

manshit

Man Shit:

Alaska, Montana, Utah, and anywhere else a bear or crazed Mormon might eat you is still open. But you knew that, because those places are home to man shit, and man shit doesn’t end in April.

cali

Cali:

Bear mountain is slowly coming to a close, but they are running a great mid-week deal. So if you live in the area make sure to take advantage of those last days of Los Angeles winter.

Drive north, up the American west coast, and you’ll find that Tahoe is doing just fine, so you might want to plan a quick road trip.

Mammoth is of course still open, still amazing, and still home to a million of your favorite dudes. Once again, Mammoth will stay open extremely late, not that anyone cares, because Mt. Hood is just a days drive away.

northwest

Dreary Northwest:

Mammoth’s failures bring us to  Mt. Hood. It’s open, it doesn’t close. See you in a few months.

North of hood you’ll find Seattle’s top spot, Summit-at-Snoqualmie, still open as well. Get to Snoqualmie while you can, it’s sure to dry up fast. In the mean time, a night ski schedule is still alive for you worker bee’s.

alabama

Alabama’s “Cloudmont and the Shady Grove Dude Ranch.”

Sorry to all the other resorts and or places not covered. They are closed or about to close. West Virginia’s Alpine Lake was great this season, I just didn’t make it out for the 20th straight year. Also in, “You exist?” resorts, Yobeat gives a big pat on the back to Cloudmont and the Shady Grove Dude Ranch out in Alabama! Can’t wait to take some laps at the Dude Ranch.

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