Buzz Words of 2008

The New York Times recently published a list of “Buzzwords” for 2008. “Buzzwords are what political wiseguys use to sound all important and knowing in a profession whose prime currency is the illusion of being both. They are like secret passwords for the chattering class, the verbal equivalent of a terrorist fist jab.” This year’s NYT list includes gas-sipper, frugalista, change, lipstick on a pig and hockey mom. But as we’ve often learned, snowboarding employs it’s own vocabulary, and we wouldn’t caught dead referring to someone as “Joe the Pipe Jock.” Here are some terms you were loosely throwing around if you were in the know last year.

Be it diagonal-cut peanut butter and jelly camber or beef jerky baseplates, food motivated all kinds of new technologies this year. And you thought snowboarders would have had their fill after all the tricks named after food. It’s tough to say whether the technology inspired the name or vice a versa. Either way, the names are still completely ridiculous and evidence of the goofiness of snowboarding.

Apparently every good snowboarder is from there. The jib-heavy province has drawn a lot of attention due to its plethora of urban terrain and its track record of producing great riders. However, Quebec’s time in the limelight may be short-lived. As soon as your average snowboarder realizes that Quebec is in Canada, Quebec will be thrown back into obsolescence. Sad, but true.

The new cool way to spin. Also a grotesque innuendo used in the Midwest.

Either the economy is really hurting snowboarders ability to buy new gear or they are still buying new gear, but tearing it to bits and “accessorizing” with feathers, beads, scarves and little animal bones. Gypsies were widespread and plentiful this season. Their skinny legs and tablecloth headwear sparked the ire of old shred dogs and food-court gangsters alike.

Recipe for making anything cooler: double it. Corks, contest wins, kinks, paychecks, combos etc.

Even before the 2009 lines hit the shelves they were old-hat. Many thanks to an adamant blog force, future product leaks are occurring earlier than ever. What implication does this have for the snowboard consumer? No matter what you buy, you will always be playing catch-up with snowboard trends.

Thanks to user-friendly content management services and snowboarders unquenchable desire for shred, the snowboard blogosphere has exploded. Everybody and anybody has one, do you? If not, here is how to get started: 1) Pick a dumb, obscure name; 2) repost press releases, and 3) post funny Youtube videos. 4) let the blog fall dormant as you lose interest in it. Easy as pie.

5 replies
  1. RVR
    RVR says:

    All this time I thought all the food technology hype was about the crappy brand that put the peanut butter and the jelly together in ONE JAR!

    I really hope this makes someone’s “Top Ten Top 7” list somewhere

  2. the n00b
    the n00b says:

    it’s absolutely true, if you double everything, it’s way cooler. like backflips. backflips are pretty awesome, but double it up and that shit’s a royal flush in spades.

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