Best Week Ever: November 14, 2008

“Exactly, no one should move back to Scranton.”

-I am subletting some apartment while I decide whether to move back to California. The dudes I am living with are confused by me, to say the least. I am getting ready to go to bed circa 10pm on Saturday night, when I discover one of the dudes drinking on the couch. He asks me what my plans for the evening are. I inform him I am going to bed. He sorta nods, pretending my answer was normal. I add, “I get so excited when it gets dark out. It’s like “Yay no more day!” He awkwardly smiled at the television.

-I go to put on a dress of mine. Olivia stops and informs me said dress smells like puke. I smell it and um she is right. I question Olivia about what went down the last time I wore said dress. She confirms that the last time I wore it; it did smell like puke. She adds that I did NOT puke in it. Confused, I shake my head, “But you let me wear it?” She shrugged, “I thought you would notice.”

-I decide for Halloween everyone at my office should dress up as each other for Halloween. Sally gets excited and starts raising her hand demanding she be me. She goes, “I am going to wear my hair in some sort of giant bun with a scarf, then door-knocker earrings, sunglasses, a dress as a skirt, a Dimmak t-shirt, ripped tights, and a weird pair of boots!” I look down at myself and shrug, “Ok!”

-Somewhere around 10am EST Glen writes me on Ichat, still up from the previous evening. He instructs me to go to sleep. I inform him it is morning. He is aware of this fact hence him encouraging me to go to bed. I explain, “Like I already went to bed and then woke up. I even showered.” He stops, “You showered?” I add, “I said I slept. Stop judging me.”

-Olivia leaves and leaves some things in the office which i agree to mail to her. I opt to perform this action while drinking heavily. I remember the box was fairly large and the items included fairly small. I then remember looking around for items to fill up the box/that Olivia would enjoy. Monday: the box is gone and I have no idea what I included. I ask Olivia, “Please send back any valuables I included.”

-I roll my eyes and remark to one of my co-workers that the Yobeat commenters are getting all upset that I am not talking about snowboarding.  I add, “Wait two of them just said shred.” She adds, “What does shred mean?” I shrug, “The 1990s.”

-I spend some time on the phone with a girl who I had been working on a project with. Said project seems to be coming to fruition. This doesn’t affect her since she works for said company. This affects me because it does. And because I don’t. In her less than helpful last words she caring-ly asks, if I have sent my resume out to anyone. She then adds, “You really need to put yourself out there in this city if you want to…” I hung up before I heard the rest.

-I find myself home and smoking weed circa mid-afternoon mid-week. While watching Dr. Phil I find myself slightly alarmed. I text another home-employed  friend of mine, “New Dr. Phil theme song huh?” She replies back, “I am sorry Sarah, I have no idea.”

-I try to have a rational conversation with a friend of mine, regarding my thoughts on moving back to Los Angeles. He is against it. And throws out a bunch of that type of “You know what is here Sarah (in Los Angeles), you don’t know what you are gonna be missing.” He continues. I interrupt, “This is like when Pam wanted to move back to Scranton, huh?” He replied, “Exactly, no one should move back to Scranton.”

-I mention to one of my friends that I have nothing to write this week at all. I go, “Dude, I haven’t left a one-block radius of my house in 9 days.” She shrugs, “Whatever, write that.”