YoBeat’s 2008 Policital Endorsments

As a highly influential publication, we at YoBeat felt we better make our feelings known one of the hot button issues facing the nation today: the upcoming election. So we’ve browsed the web, searched the net and watched all the highly factual television commercials to bring you our endorsements for various important races across this great country.

Mike LeBlanc

United States Senator, Maine

The race for the Senate seat in Maine is the 11th most competitive Senate race in the country, but that’s no reason that Mikey LeBlanc can’t win as a write in. Sure, he lives in Portland now, but his parents will let him stay at their house when he needs to. LeBlanc has proven himself as a bi-partisan candidate, easily bridging the gap between hipster and hip hopper, and his years of snowboard experience and flat landings have prepared him for the inevitable ups and downs of a Senate term.

JP Walker

Governor, Utah

The Utah gubernatorial race looks to be leaning towards the Republican incumbent Jon Huntsman, but JP Walker as a write in could be just what Utah needs to get some fresh blood in office. Walker is a true uniter — he looks like a Mormon with this blond hair and blue eyes, but our sources tell us he is not in fact Mormon. He’s a candidate for every man. But mostly importantly, he would have the wherewithal to overturn the mini ramp ban in SLC for good! Little known fact, Walker (along with Mitch Nelson and Mikey LeBlanc) was responsible for the initial legalization of mini ramps in the early 90s.

Josh Dirksen

Sentator, Oregon

Enough with the bickering between Gordon Smith and Jeff Merkely — who cares who Ron Wyden really endorses? What we need is a fresh face in Washington who would bring real change. That’s why YoBeat endorses Josh Dirksen for Senate. He’ll pledge to legalize weed and not make anyone pay taxes. Well actually we don’t know about that tax part, but definitely the weed.

Josh Sherman

Congressman, Wisconsin

Sherman is perhaps the most qualified politician in snowboarding. He can pretty much talk people into anything, and therefore is a great candidate for the District 8 Congress seat of Wisconsin. Currently Incumbent Democrat Steve Kagen and Republican John Ward are running neck in neck for the seat, but Sherman is just what the race needs to shake things up. And his blond hair reminds Wisconsin residents of cheese, making them feel very comfortable.

Lucas Magoon

Mayor, Rutland, VT

Ok so this seat isn’t actually up for grabs in the upcoming election, but YoBeat is calling for impeachment of whoever is in there now, because there really could be no better mayor than Magoon. In addition to being the richest man in the town, he would install snowboard-ready handrails throughout the city, and help bring a youthful spirit the city of Rutland so desperately needs.

Marci Price

Senator, Alaska

Strangely the gubernatorial seat in Alaska is not up for election this term, but in Alaska YoBeat felt a somewhat unknown female was the best possible endorsement for the open Senate seat. In addition to being quite a looker, Price spent some time as a spokesperson, I mean, rider for Ride Snowboards and is a shoo in to shake up the results of one of the “top ten most competitive Senate races” in the country. Watch out Ted Stevens, you may have thought you had to worry about a possible Democratic takeover, but with Price in the race, it’s anyone’s game.

Matty Ryan

Senator, New Hampshire

Currently in New Hampshire, the most interesting thing about the race is the funny names of both candidates: John Sununu and Jeanne Shaheen. YoBeat is therefore endorsing Matty Ryan for this tight race. Ryan will bring some scandal into otherwise humdrum NH politics, be it with sex or drugs. And he also lives life by the state’s official motto: Live Free or Get High. What, it’s Life Free or Die? Well, close enough.

Travis Rice

Senator, Wyoming

Wyoming is one of only two states with both Senate seats up for grabs, and who is more qualified in that state than Travis Rice? Look at his accomplishments: One of the most progressive snowboarders in the world, now a noted filmmaker, X Games Champion, the list goes on. He could very well double cork his way into both seats and fill them just fine.

Barack Obama

President

So we were kidding about the rest of these, but this one we’re serious. It’s not just that McCain is too old to know how to use a computer and his running mate is a moron, Obama is actually a good choice for President. Smart, well-spoken, forward thinking, he is easily the greatest politician of his time. When he ran for his Senate seat in Illinois, he literally crushed the other candidate, and with the help of YoBeat readers, we think the Presidential election could go the same way.

17 replies
  1. jweb
    jweb says:

    i am totally backing Magoon as mayor of Rutland only if we can make sure they establish a presidential position for Rutland held by none other then Pat Bridges, I am very comfortable with the Gooner/Bridges ticket in ’08

  2. mike
    mike says:

    im not so sure that obama is a good choice. it actually worries me that he is going to win. people have been layed off alot lately and his economic policies will push most companies to make even more layoffs. he doesnt understand business. he plans on raising taxes. we dont need that right now. my paychecks get enough taken out already. he plans on raising taxes on business’ too. companies will lay off more people to see their profits remain where they are. ive seen it happen a few times, and thats why people are getting laid off now. so when the taxes get raised when he wins, dont be surprised if you and youre friends dont have a job. but then again well fare is mellow, right?

  3. Human
    Human says:

    I think this whole thing is a joke all the way down to having Barack Obama being president.. Except maybe JP Walker and Matty Ryan.

  4. J
    J says:

    Obama will lower taxes 4 times as much as McCain will for the people who really need it. If you make $250K then paying 39% tax instead of the current 36% isn’t going to make you go hungry in the slightest bit, while at the same time giving the backbone of our economy, the middle class, more money to purchase the goods or services you are selling to make your $250k. Win win if you ask me!

    Like in a poker game, when the majority of chips are held by only a couple of the players, everyone else has to borrow until they completely go under. THEN THE GAME STOPS!

    When one makes 20 million, 10 thousand people lose!

  5. Jenna
    Jenna says:

    Ohh brooke, this is your job, haha… also scary that people that read this are McCain supporters i really thought you attracted a more educated audience, oh wait..no i didnt.

  6. mike
    mike says:

    first, no one is getting less taxes. some people will get tax benefits (even people that dont pay taxes). it is a form of well fare. its socialism. socialism works in a utopian world. but we dont live in one. giving people money i can live with (only for hard working people), but what this economy needs right now is job growth, obama isnt going to make jobs, he is going to make less jobs. handing out money isnt going to help. we need jobs.

    obama wants to increase spending, thats why he wants to raise taxes.

    mccain will lower taxes on business. that will increase jobs.

    we live in a capitalist society. some people get rich. im broke. i wont complain to the government about it.

  7. Big Dog
    Big Dog says:

    McCain’s telling you he’s going to give you everything on your Christmas list but he doesn’t tell you how he’s going to pay for it. Obama tells you what he’s going to do for you, how he’s going to pay for it and you don’t trust him. What are you really trying to say here my friend?

  8. eric
    eric says:

    mike just doesnt know: the only people loosing a substantial amount of money are going to be people making over $250,000 because obama is giving tax breaks to the middle class. A very small percentage of the richest people in the country are currently receiving tax cuts under the bush tax cuts, which mccain wants to continue. its called the trickle down theory and you can discover in any econ book that it’s proven that it doesnt work. money doesnt trickle down to poor people to stimulate jobs, rich people get insanely rich and poor people get fucked. Mike you are suggesting that by continuing the same tax plan, it is going to stimulate jobs????? look what’s happening dumb dumb. CEO’s are running business into the ground because they can receive short term benefits and huge profit gain. The current tax plan is backed by greed and selfishness.
    Obama has proposed stimulating thousands of jobs because he believes in renewable energy, and a change in our energy infrastructure would create thousands of new, domestic jobs that don’t currenty exist in all different fields: from construction, to engineering, to repairs, and all other basic jobs a business needs to run like secretaries, janitors, etc. PLUS obama has proposed that paying for college will be assisted by the government will if a person serves in the military, or performs a certain amount of community service. This would provide all people regardless of income with the education they need to get jobs. Also, it would provide people with the knowledge to understand why if john mccain is elected president, it would be the biggest disaster in our country’s history. mike u obviously do not understand what u are talking about, so perhaps voting for obama would be beneficial to u not only for the huge tax break u would receive, (because you said you were broke,) but also because i would no longer need to hear these inferior arguments about y i should vote for a 72 yr old man who said a matter of months ago, “i know much more about foreign policy than i do about economics.”

  9. timmy
    timmy says:

    no one has mentioned that the LONG TERM GLOBAL effects of another hate monger in office will de devistating.

    OR talked about how NO MATTER IF WE GET TAXED OR NOT, Obama is the far better choice to everyone that lives outside the USA and is out only hope of not being considered the assholes of the planet…

    GREED is short term cash in my pocket thinking. we need a leader that thinks long term, for example McCAin is saying he;ll have us energy independent in 5 years, Omama in 12 why? beacuse McCAin will go drill every fucking plave and RAPE an pillage doing it. Obama has a longer term and more sustainable vision. THATS what we need in the fucking govt.

  10. Ian
    Ian says:

    Ah, socialism.
    I’m surprised that nobody’s been clever enough to realize that McCain is screaming about Obama being a socialist while at the same time he fervently backed a bailout plan in which the Federal government bought out most of the major banks in the country. Socialist?
    I’m also surprised that nobody’s asked why Sarah Palin is screaming socialist as a four-letter word, especially with reports like this coming out:
    “Palin’s charge that “government is too big” and that Obama “wants to grow it” was similarly preposterous. Not only did her party just preside over the largest government expansion since LBJ, but Palin herself has been a typical Bush-era Republican, borrowing and spending beyond her means. Her great legacy as mayor of Wasilla was the construction of a $15 million hockey arena in a city with an annual budget of $20 million; Palin OK’d a bond issue for the project before the land had been secured, leading to a protracted legal mess that ultimately forced taxpayers to pay more than six times the original market price for property the city ended up having to seize from a private citizen using eminent domain. Better yet, Palin ended up paying for the fucking thing with a 25 percent increase in the city sales tax. But in her speech, of course, Palin presented herself as the enemy of tax increases, righteously bemoaning that “taxes are too high” and Obama “wants to raise them.”
    Palin hasn’t been too worried about federal taxes as governor of a state that ranks number one in the nation in federal spending per resident ($13,950), even as it sits just 18th in federal taxes paid per resident ($5,434). That means all us taxpaying non-Alaskans spend $8,500 a year on each and every resident of Palin’s paradise of rugged self-sufficiency. Not that this sworn enemy of taxes doesn’t collect from her own: Alaska currently collects the most taxes per resident of any state in the nation.”

    Get with it, kids.

  11. Daniel
    Daniel says:

    I thought everybody was already up on the whole ‘president’ scam. It ranks number two on the list of greatest conspiracies of all time, number one being the whole ‘Christ’ thing. You know Christ, the Profit? I can see the documentary, Hacking Democracy, didn’t make that big of an impact.

    I went to a political rally and chanted my mantra, Rock the Boat * Don’t Vote. I wasn’t very popular.

    There’s a reason I am the way that I am. I was born the day they buried JFK.

    There’s a World Wide Mind Control experiment going on. I’m not participating.

    M Cane will win, sparking riots that will make Rodney King look like a picnic in the park.

    In the end, none of it will matter.

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  1. […] images to bring you our endorsements for various important races across this great country four years ago. And since it’s Sunday, and they were gold, we’re only updating them slightly. The point […]

  2. […] respected and once looked to for inspiration had such a sour reaction. They also photoshopped Yobeat’s old JP Walker photoshop job, to add a dash of humor. This should have cooled the water.  JP Walker should have felt both […]

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