As a highly influential publication, we at YoBeat felt we better make our feelings known one of the hot button issues facing the nation today: the upcoming election. So we’ve browsed the web, searched the net and watched all the highly factual television commercials to bring you our endorsements for various important races across this great country.
United States Senator, Maine
The race for the Senate seat in Maine is the 11th most competitive Senate race in the country, but that’s no reason that Mikey LeBlanc can’t win as a write in. Sure, he lives in Portland now, but his parents will let him stay at their house when he needs to. LeBlanc has proven himself as a bi-partisan candidate, easily bridging the gap between hipster and hip hopper, and his years of snowboard experience and flat landings have prepared him for the inevitable ups and downs of a Senate term.
The Utah gubernatorial race looks to be leaning towards the Republican incumbent Jon Huntsman, but JP Walker as a write in could be just what Utah needs to get some fresh blood in office. Walker is a true uniter — he looks like a Mormon with this blond hair and blue eyes, but our sources tell us he is not in fact Mormon. He’s a candidate for every man. But mostly importantly, he would have the wherewithal to overturn the mini ramp ban in SLC for good! Little known fact, Walker (along with Mitch Nelson and Mikey LeBlanc) was responsible for the initial legalization of mini ramps in the early 90s.
Enough with the bickering between Gordon Smith and Jeff Merkely — who cares who Ron Wyden really endorses? What we need is a fresh face in Washington who would bring real change. That’s why YoBeat endorses Josh Dirksen for Senate. He’ll pledge to legalize weed and not make anyone pay taxes. Well actually we don’t know about that tax part, but definitely the weed.
Sherman is perhaps the most qualified politician in snowboarding. He can pretty much talk people into anything, and therefore is a great candidate for the District 8 Congress seat of Wisconsin. Currently Incumbent Democrat Steve Kagen and Republican John Ward are running neck in neck for the seat, but Sherman is just what the race needs to shake things up. And his blond hair reminds Wisconsin residents of cheese, making them feel very comfortable.
Mayor, Rutland, VT
Ok so this seat isn’t actually up for grabs in the upcoming election, but YoBeat is calling for impeachment of whoever is in there now, because there really could be no better mayor than Magoon. In addition to being the richest man in the town, he would install snowboard-ready handrails throughout the city, and help bring a youthful spirit the city of Rutland so desperately needs.
Strangely the gubernatorial seat in Alaska is not up for election this term, but in Alaska YoBeat felt a somewhat unknown female was the best possible endorsement for the open Senate seat. In addition to being quite a looker, Price spent some time as a spokesperson, I mean, rider for Ride Snowboards and is a shoo in to shake up the results of one of the “top ten most competitive Senate races” in the country. Watch out Ted Stevens, you may have thought you had to worry about a possible Democratic takeover, but with Price in the race, it’s anyone’s game.
Senator, New Hampshire
Currently in New Hampshire, the most interesting thing about the race is the funny names of both candidates: John Sununu and Jeanne Shaheen. YoBeat is therefore endorsing Matty Ryan for this tight race. Ryan will bring some scandal into otherwise humdrum NH politics, be it with sex or drugs. And he also lives life by the state’s official motto: Live Free or Get High. What, it’s Life Free or Die? Well, close enough.
Wyoming is one of only two states with both Senate seats up for grabs, and who is more qualified in that state than Travis Rice? Look at his accomplishments: One of the most progressive snowboarders in the world, now a noted filmmaker, X Games Champion, the list goes on. He could very well double cork his way into both seats and fill them just fine.
So we were kidding about the rest of these, but this one we’re serious. It’s not just that McCain is too old to know how to use a computer and his running mate is a moron, Obama is actually a good choice for President. Smart, well-spoken, forward thinking, he is easily the greatest politician of his time. When he ran for his Senate seat in Illinois, he literally crushed the other candidate, and with the help of YoBeat readers, we think the Presidential election could go the same way.