The n00b does Facebook

I’ve been worried that my self-prescribed snowboard history lessons may have given me a skewed perspective on snowboarding. All I’ve been doing is reading major snowboard media outlets and whatever else I can find with Google.

Now, the last thing I want to do is be promoting some radical (the kind that isn’t a synonym for “awesome”) big-corporate-snowboarding media agenda, like so many journalists do today. So I went to the people: more specifically, the masses on The Facebook. Surely I could glean some information from these social-networking, tech-savvy Internet wunderkinds.
Here’s what I learned:

– There’s a group called “Washington DC Ski and Snowboard Meet Ups.” There are 17 members, and there has been no activity within the group. This pales in comparison to the 191 members and flurry of planning and meet-up activity in the “The University of Iowa Ski and Snowboard Club” group. I repeat, “The University of IOWA Ski and Snowboard Club.” Is there a mountain in Iowa? Enough. Moving on.

– I learned that “Girls that Snowboard are SEXY!!!” thanks to a group led by Irish “Snow Princess!!!” Britters Stewart and Toronto’s own “Shredin’ Virgin!” Lizz Jacob. The group was created “for all the pretty ladies that like to shred, and the fellas that like to watch!” Apparently, girls that snowboard also <3<3<3 exclamation points! OMG!

– If you’re a member of the Carleton University (Ottawa, Ontario) Ski and Snowboard Club, you can go on weekly trips to nearby Tremblant, and attend some parties that look pretty killer. You can also go on what I guess is called a Carleton University Night Trip with the club … that’s right, you can sign up for a CUNT with CUSSC. Awesome.

– There are a number of brand-advocacy/marketing group, as well as anti-brand groups. Right now, for example, the tally is 1,719 in the group “Burton,” 6,182 in “Burton Snowboard,” 508 in “Boycott Burton Snowboard.” I don’t get why people are so wrapped up with being anti-money. Burton is big because something they did worked, right? Isn’t indicting a big company like Burton sort of indicting the growth and change in the snowboarding industry as a whole?

– “Fuck school, I just wanna snowboard” gives us more than a few reasons these young shredders should stick it out in school.

Number 1: a remark by Danny G., a student of The Masters School (a New York prep school known for high academic standards), “Yo niggs, this is Vladi K. Unban me fools bitch yeah man dude/bro.”

Number 2: Edward C-H, of the Rudolf Steiner School, posted under the title “i need ur help”: “i have entered the nike 6.0 killing it comp and i need as many views as possiable, that is why im calling on u fellow snoboarders for support if u go 2 http://video.mpora.com/watch/vEgsdvz7n/ and watch the video that would b lovely, and if u really like it u could send the link 2 ur friends aswell”

I understand the need for brevity in, say, a quick text message (“thx 4 the pix ttyl”), but is it really that
much quicker or easier than typing out full words or complete sentences? This kind of pseudo-communication is all over the groups I looked at on The Facebook (“why is snowboarding so awsome?” or “learn from The Flying Tomatoe! snowboard!”). But is it snowboarders, or is it just today’s youth? (answer: it’s our would-be leaders) God help us, we’re all screwed.

– You can simply declare yourself stylish. I didn’t think this was possible, but apparently all it takes is clicking “join” when you find your way to the group “I SNOWBOARD WITH STYLE!” Strangely enough, I didn’t see Peter Line, Danny Kass, the Airblaster team or any of the other names I’ve learned to associate with stylish snowboarding on the members list. Weird.

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