Not Just One of the Guys: Desiree Melancon


Even though we all love to say we are pretty equal, at the end of the day boys don’t like to be outdone by girls. Desiree is one of those girls that routinely outshines her male counterparts, and does it with swagger. I’ve seen Desiree dressed as a lady and acting cute with her boyfriend, and I’ve seen her take on three beefcake hick hotheads at Mt. Hood Meadows. Desiree can be a lady, but she can also be a beast. It isn’t everyday you see guys skip through videos to get to the girls part, but Desiree isn’t every other girl.

Nick: What’s your name darling? Also, how old are you?

[email protected]$%: Desiree Lynn Melancon, I’m 20 years old.

Nick: Where did you grow up?

Desiree: Riverside, California I suppose. Those were my early years.

Nick: You made it out of that skid-mark of a town early, where did you head to?

Desiree: I moved when I could. I got the hell out of high school and went to bear when I was 17, I still had blonde hair then. From there I moved to Tahoe, Oregon, Utah and now I’m in Mammoth. I have a hard time staying put.

Nick: I remember when you lived in Gresham with Nick Dirks, Harrison Gordon, and all of those kids. Those were wild times, what was the weirdest thing that happened when you were living there?

Desiree: Oh fuck man, Gresham was the worst, I think I lost my mind there. The absolute weirdest thing that happened there was I ended up cracking one day and just left. I drove 16 hours home to California because I was so sick of it and felt like if I didn’t get to California I was going to kill myself. Even worse I ended up coming back, but this kid Mikey got us evicted from my apartment with help from Jarad Hadi and Nick because the partying was too loud.

Nick: Nick and Jarad will get u evicted from anywhere though. I don’t know if people know this, but you really are a lady. How did you get into this whole snowboarding thing?

Desiree: Um, how every other lady gets into it. You know, trying to become the most successful pro hoe in the world and attempting to marry Shane White.

Nick: Mike Comrie of Team Thunder says you are the fart queen. Any comment?

Desiree: (Laughing) Man they are all just wussy mormons. Anything that is natural grosses them out. It’s not my fault mormon chicks leave the room every time they have to let a fart out of there butt. It ruins my life because when I fart I just fart, and then people think I’m gross. Sometimes they smell though, not as bad as some peoples farts though.

Nick: What does Harrison (The Boyfriend) think? Is your leaky butt attractive to the real flying tomato?

Desiree: (Laughing) Who knows. He has his own hairy butt to worry about.

Nick: So how did you get to where you are now? Who were your influences? Jenna Jameson?

Desiree: The number one influence in my life are my friends. It’s the way it has always been. They are….Brandon Phillips for starting everything, Jarad Hadi and Nick Dirks for showing me that you aren’t supposed to just go down the snowboard run and ignore all the fun bumps, Laura Hadar for being the mother bird, and Boardo Gordo for being my rock. I got to where I am now with a little help from my friends.

Nick: Laura seems like she has a big influence on your style. You two are kind of taking girls snowboarding in a new direction, which is, being better than guys. Why aren’t you in pink Burton pants doing front 180’s down 13 foot cliffs?

Desiree: Laura opened my eyes to what women’s snowboarding could be, and I hopped on her train. Now I’m just pushing to make it legit as well. There are so many things wrong with the pro women’s image at this time and all I can hope for is a change to come from the new generation. Never settle, if I settle for the bitch shit I’m just a bitch as well.

Nick: Where do you want to take your snowboarding? Are you trying to just stick to the rail thing, or would you like to get into the mountains as well?

Desiree: Man I want to do everything. I grew up being very rail influenced and it’s finally hitting me just how limited I am. I just want to understand my board and how it works, go really really fast down the steep stuff and learn everything I can about anything. I want to get into pipe and understand how to land in weird trannies too.

Nick: Back to the man world, have you seen Joe Carlino’s flick yet, These Days?

Desiree: Yep.

Nick: What do you think about your friend Nick Dirk’s part?

Desiree: I love him. He’s fucking amazing. His part was definitely mind blowing because it just made me feel good to see one of my friends have a part like that. I remember visiting Oregon to see Jarad and Nick. Nick would have the sketchiest set up in the world but was still so amazing. I hope he has everything he needs forever with boarding now.

Nick: Nick is one kid that deserves it. What about you, who did you film with this year?

Desiree: I filmed with Team Thunder and Runway films.

Nick:You’ve been with Runway for a while. What’s it like being a part of the “big” women’s project?

Desiree: I mean it’s different. It’s hard actually. Filming with women is one of the hardest things to do. It’s weird to think about that this film is maybe the women’s version of the Mack Dawg production. It’s the only womens movie, I just wish the guys movies would start putting women in them more. Look at what that did for Marie France Roy… but I love Runway, it’s a great concept and Leanne made an amazing thing.

Nick: How was Team Thunder, Mike runs a weird ship. How do you like filming with those guys?

Desiree: Man I love them with all my heart. It was so fun getting to film with all of them. They only had one camera, they had no money, and they made it work.

Nick: You said you wish you could see ladies in the normal movies. Does a crew exist that you wish you were filming for?

Desiree: I don’t care, I just want to film and travel with my friends.

Nick: You were up for rookie of the year last year, who was that loser that beat you?

Desiree: (Laughing) I don’t think she’s a loser since she was the winner, but Spencer O’brian took the gold.

Nick: Spencer who? Never heard of her. Do you think you have a harder time obtaining sponsors because you are trying to be more than whatever teams token girl?

Desiree: I don’t really know how it works, but I know that some stuff is really stupid, and other stuff is not. I know I want people to appreciate me for the type of snowboarding that I love and not for the contest circuit and sell out world.

Nick: What are you planning on doing with this spirit of yours?

Desiree: Plans… learn how to use my snowboard, travel as much as possible, scare myself, and have a lot of fun. I think that’s a good 10 year plan.

Nick: You take college courses during the summer and fall, why? Is your mother going to slap you if you don’t?

Desiree: No, no, I value my education, and yeah, my mother will slap me if I don’t go.

Nick: Where are you? It’s school time after all.

Desiree: Mammoth until winter. School is here and this is where the early season starts usually. Plus the jump scene is good here. I need to hit jumps every day I think, and this place is a good spot to do that at.

Nick: Enough snowboarding, who are you deep down? Have you seen two girls one cup?

Desiree: Man i love two girls one cup.

Nick: How so?

Desiree: I’m not really sure, but people say that it damaged there life and I just think it’s hilarious. I can watch it and laugh while my friends are about to puke.

Nick: Proud of you, favorite place to ride?

Desiree: Big Bear Mtn.

Nick: Dream vacation?

Desiree: A week with friends somewhere amazing. I don’t know where, maybe the city of love, Paris.

Nick: Most overrated snowboarder?

Desiree: No names, but sorry blonde.

Nick: Most underrated?

Desiree: Hands down, Jed Anderson. He’s pretty much Shane White but way cooler and better looking.

Nick: If Redbull offered you five million to ride for them would you take it?

Desiree: No, Redbull gives me the shits. That’s the only reason why. If Aquafina offered me five million a year I would take it in a second.

Nick: Any advice to little girls trying to ride with the boys?

Desiree: Stick with the boys. Don’t get side tracked by the little whores who don’t know what they are talking about. Listen to your friends and don’t stick your butt out too much. Party a lot and don’t loose sight of how fun snowboarding is or how amazing it is to have friends to snowboard with every day.

Nick: Advice for the boys who wish they could ride rails like you?

Desiree: (Laughing) I don’t know, stop being a puss’ because rails are not that hard. But never give up, and just like the girls, have a lot of fun.

Nick: Give your thanks.

Desiree: Well, I would like to give the finger to Lance Hakker and Bordo Gordo. The thanks go out to; Mom and Dad, Mikey Leblanc, Jarad, Nick, Brandon, Mike Hakker all the sponsors, my sister, yobeat, and ummm all the people who like me and don’t want to punch me in the face. Oh, and I apologize if I offended anyone.

Nick: Bill payers? What product should kids be supporting?

Desiree: Bill payers : Holden, Ashbury, Coal, Vans, Active, Airblaster Ninja, Bear Mountain, and Dinosaurs Will Die.

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