Somewhere out there you can find a copy of the worst/best movie I’ve seen in a while. Don’t bother checking Blockbuster, skip any bookstores, Targets, or Malls altogether, but check the bins at Goodwill. If you are lucky, you’ll score a copy of Aspen Extreme. Tis’ the season for video reviews, and last night I saw this flick. It was, is, and will continue to be so spectacularly awful that the only justified decision in my mind is to tell the world about it.
The year was 1993, and apparently it was the ski industry’s low point, if that is possible. This movie was to ski bums in ’93 what Outcold was to my generation. There is one big difference though, people watch Outcold because it is awesome, and there is some snowboarding woven into its delicate fabric. People, or maybe just me and my pal Graham, watch Aspen Extreme because we become glued to the T.V. upon inserting the VHS. Two girls one cup had the same effect on me, and many others. You know the feeling.
If you are interested in any of the following; moguls, knee breaking, ice, awkward looking early 1990’s style, mediocre women, scattered plot creation, absurdly long hair, or montages this movie is for you. For the rest of you, if you are interested in cocaine, drug habits, beer, sex, hairy man bush, side boob, money, laughing, or the best 30 seconds of snowboard footage ever then this movie is for you!
My final thought on Aspen Extreme is when TJ (the protagonist) fell into the crevasse while training for the big downhill contest and almost drowned in the hot springs at the bottom of that death hole because his skies lodged into the ice wall and forced him to hang upside down in the water and his good buddy jumped in to save him with a harness system he created in roughly 14 seconds out of rope and skies roughly placed in powder, and that scene cut to the two of them casually driving home, I realized this movie is so awful not one snowboarder should miss it.