-We find ourselves looking for something to watch on TV at 3AM one night. We are searching On Demand for something, anything. Olivia discovers some Karaoke section and gets excited. I yell no and tell her to stop. She presses the button and the TV screen flashes “Your program will begin shortly.” Instinctively, I put my glasses on and ask what song we are doing.
-Olivia arrives home from work to me watching television, like usual. She remarks, “You look really tan.” Confused, I explain that someone else had told me the same thing. She stops, “Wait you saw someone else today?” I shrug, “No yesterday.”
-I do a music video-shoot early in the week. The three emotions I have to evoke on cue are happy, angry, and sad. I am struggling with the sad piece. The video dude tries to help, “Think of something sad like the loss of a loved one or a time you had your heart broken.” I instantly become sad. I do well. Dude asks what sad thing I thought about was. I shrugged and answered, “Work.”
-I want this program for my phone. So I instinctively BBM Rose explaining this and asking her where I can download it. I then realize how ridiculous this was and type, “Oh sorry I thought this was Google.”
-A friend of mine is clearing things out to fit me into his car. He shows me a plaque for some music award he had received for a song of his. He then informs me his was the second place award and the winner received 25 grand. I sigh, “My life is a giant plaque.”
-Olivia asks the following question one evening, “You know that show where the dude wins the lottery and gets hit by a car?” I don’t. She then adds, “You know that guy I think is really hot?” With little thought I reply, “My name is Earl.” I have no idea how.
-We don’t have much of anything in the house to eat at all. Period. I announce that I wish I had brownies or cupcakes or chocolate of some sort. Olivia adds, “I know. I ate that whole jar of peanut butter.” Due to the lack of options in the kitchen, I ask her what she ate said jar of peanut butter with. She replies, “A spoon.”
-I go to some video game release party for a new NBA related game last night, for another magazine. The place is full of famous NBA players who obviously are talking to larger media types than me. I call Rose upon leaving. I tell her the Cool Kids performed, so they talked to me. I then add, “The only people other person I could get to talk to me was the DJ.” Rose enjoys this statement. I add, “That sort of defines my life.”
– I really wish computer screens made you tan. I think I have said that before.