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Site Check: Homeschool Outerwear

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Homeschool Outerwear. Chris Roach does not look pleased about winning that Legend Award. But I mean really who would appreciate being reminded that they’ve been riding longer than most of their teammates have been alive. Getting old sucks.

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There’s plenty of brands that try and make whatever’s cool, but for gear nerds like myself we only get a jacket or two from Burton, Volcom, or others, otherwise we’re stuck with some monstrosity from The North Face. But Homeschool really focuses on their tech first and foremost, even their “lower level” stuff is better equipped than most brands’ middle of the road stuff. But that doesn’t mean everything is straight forward – instead of just saying “this is the good stuff” and “this is the okay stuff,” you have to choose one of two photoshoped pictures, aided only by completely unhelpful paragraphs underneath. It’s not the easiest riddle to solve, luckily there’s little in the form of real consequence if you guess wrong.

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Once you’re in you can pick what you’re looking for piece by piece, or you can go with one of the pre-picked kits. Which is nice and all if you’re that kid who’s mom lays your clothes out the night before. But do people really buy full head-to-toe set ups at once? Am I the oddball for just replacing one piece at a time as needed?

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Not a ton to talk about here, but I do want to call out that last name on the list. Either “Zeppelin Zeerip” isn’t his real name, or his parents were among the most hippie people in all of the West Coast. I don’t care if his folks were from Maine, there’s no way that name happens in a family that isn’t 100% about drum circles and patchouli. Seriously though Zep, if you ever want to bitch about what a shithole South Florida is, get at me.

Now there’s nothing bad about this website. It isn’t exactly hard to solve the Labyrinth riddle to get to the goods, and I genuinely appreciate the goods they’re putting out there. It’s a little disappointing that they only make men’s gear, because as starved as I am for solid tech from core brands women are embarrassingly underserved. But I get that would be a big investment with very little return for a brand this size. So there’s nothing wrong but there’s nothing making it great. Other sites have zombie strippers, 80’s video games, or genuinely compelling programs. So there’s no reason to be ashamed of a 53, but there is a lot of work to be done if they want to catch the leaders.

Check the site yourself at http://homeschoolouterwear.com/

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. CAPiTA 78
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Homeschool 53
11. Burton 50
12. Technine 45
Academy Snowboards DNF

Site Check: Academy Snowboards

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Academy Snowboards. I’ve always dug how they keep it simple, because someone has to. I’ll admit I’m usually the first to geek out on a new multi-stage hybrid benditure profile, but sometimes all we need is something that rides like a snowboard. And that’s what they do best.

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The Propacamba is either the future of snowboarding here to show us all the way to the promised land, or a throwback to the days when no one talked about how baggy or tight your pants were. Because everyone’s pants were baggy. Academy must be down with the clown to get away with this graphic, Hamburglar is still being felonious, Ronald holding down the corner, and Grimace is stoned out of his mind. Exactly like I remember McDonaldland growing up.

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But now things start falling apart. You scroll down from the Propacamba, and there’s a dead Vimeo link. I mean it’s happened to all of us, a bad link or a dropped bracket and your carefully crafted site suddenly has a black eye. Nothing to be embarrassed about, except for the fact that …

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… they screwed up more than once. The Scholarship Program is pretty cool. $500, two decks, and a summer session at Windells is nothing to sneeze at especially when you’re on a college student budget. The 1% of regional sales incentive is a little self serving, but in the best possible way. However, they screwed the pooch on this one too because this information says that applications are due by April 15, 2012. I’m going to go ahead and say we all missed that deadline, but it’s still up on Academy’s website anyway.

At this point, I’m not sure there’s much left to say about this site. I like Academy, making affordable boards that are worth riding isn’t a popular choice, but it is indisputably good for snowboarding. But I’ve said before that this contest isn’t about the brand it’s about the website and this is an area that Academy clearly hasn’t put as much priority into. That’s not a bad thing, if they can only be good at one thing I’m glad it’s boards, but I don’t give credit for partial work. No points will be awarded, so Academy goes on the board as Did Not Finish.

Check the site for yourself – http://academysnowboards.com/

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. CAPiTA 78
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Burton 50
11. Technine 45
Academy Snowboards DNF

Site Check: CAPiTA

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CAPiTA! You know how no matter what, there is someone who hates any given thing? Brands such as Burton, Flow and RuRoc are to varying degrees known as much for how much they’re hated as for what they actually do. But CAPiTA on the other hand, I can’t recall anyone actively hating on them. Indifference sure, maybe even a distaste, but not the same blind opposition it seems that every other brand will generate to some degree. Which begs the question, who are they Defending the Awesome from?

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For a few years now they’ve done this forced perspective thing on their website and in their catalogs, and it really bothers me. If you look at the ends of any of their boards, it looks like they’ve got a wicked asymmetric profile across their entire line. That isn’t it, that trend is already on the way back out, I think what they’re going for is making it look like you’re viewing the board on an angle. But they still print the graphics as if you’re looking face on, so the effect is this weird distorted amoeba board.

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Another year the “Volcom is going to make hardgoods” rumor proves false. Honestly I’m not surprised, the margins on hard goods is crap. Volcom is happy making $90 boardshorts, and I don’t see them changing their business model any time soon. But for some reason there is still demand for a Volcom board, and here it is. And they get to push off the boring/expensive design, research, construction, and warranty work to CAPiTA, so they’re really making out like bandits.

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Speaking of boring/expensive, The Mothership has landed. In case you weren’t paying attention, CAPiTA is opening a new factory in Austria to replace the giant one they bought from Elan a few years back. The new spot has an on-site hill for prototype testing, and it’s near a major resort, but the real buzz here is sustainability. Not only is it “greener” thanks to on site power generation, eco-conscious design, and a stack of other Earth-friendly decisions, it’s also economically sustainable. See the old digs was capable of putting out an insane number of boards, but whether snowboarding is shrinking or just staying the same, it isn’t seeing the kind of growth needed to support that capacity. So by “downsizing” CAPiTA is making a move to ensure demand for their product stays high, and that’s smart.

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I’m sorry to let you down, but the only thing I’ve got to run with on the team is a handful of one-off jokes. Kazu’s kid is cooler than you. Dan Brisse looks like the mugshot of a State Senator who got busted at a DUI checkpoint. And Cale Zima is just one heavily customized motorcycle away from completing his Jesse James starter kit.

But in the end, they’re coming up short in our little competition. Not a bad score, but somehow it feels like this site is less than the sum of it’s parts. It looks cool, CAPiTA always does, and they really are set up to make it easy to poke around and find whatever it is you’re looking for. The Mothership is awesome for industry nerds like me, though at this point I was hoping we could get something more than the same artist’s rendition we’ve been looking at since January. 78 is a respectable score, but I can’t help but think they could have done better.

Check the site for yourself- http://www.capitasnowboarding.com/
The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. CAPiTA 78
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Burton 50
11. Technine 45

Site Check: Technine

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Technine. The thugged-out brand Henrik Harlaut would ride for if he snowboarded.

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Give the goons the credit they deserve though, that board section is the least pretentious arrangement I have seen. No brand name benditure, no confusing names like “anti-rocker,” just straight forward and to the point. The simple fact is that sometimes camber is just camber and we don’t need forty different names confusing that issue.

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The boards are more or less what you’d expect, but the recent growth of backcountry/powder specific boards can’t be ignored even by the most jib-focused of brands. I love the idea of stereotypical Technine riders on a powder board. Bagged-0ut jacket and pants, Bobby $hmurda blasting in the headphones, and mellow back fives into untracked landings. Better yet, what if next year they do a splitboard? Just imagine Lucas Magoon skinning up a big line next to Jeremy Jones. If someone made a reality TV show about that, I would watch it.

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The outerwear section is underwhelming. Obviously if they’ve got riders signed to outerwear sponsorships they have to make outerwear, but shouldn’t they be trying a bit harder than this? I mean that camo pattern isn’t exactly the same as Kazu’s Adidas kit from last year, but it’s damn close. The Tear Aways even have three stripes running down the leg. And the selection is so small, though that might be a result of Technine matching their selection to their customer base. Sweatshirts and other “streetwear” are going to get more play from them, and options like … oh …

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Oh hell no. I know the whole pseudo-jersey thing isn’t new, it’s been done before and it will be done again. And in fairness Boston is the best served city for this kind of tribute, so it isn’t even an issue that they didn’t pick the Sox. And even the Jays aren’t a problem in and of themselves, the problem is jumping on the Yankees bandwagon. Salt Lake may not have a team, but the company still claims Colorado roots so ditching the “hometeam” Rockies for the fucking Yankees is unforgivable.

I actually have a lot of respect for some of the things Technine has done. They’re still coming from the same place year after year, not chasing trends or abandoning a style just because it is no longer “cool.” If/when we all stop pretending to be rugged outdoors enthusiasts and swing back to wishing we were OGs, Technine will have serious credibility as one of the only brands to never collaborate on a $2,000 rooftop tent. Even the fucking Yankees shirt shows a certain kind of loyalty; New York-based riders don’t get nearly enough service if they want to represent where they’re from. Which is insane when you consider what an economic engine New York (state) is for snowboarding. But my own loyalties will never let me give something associated with The Evil Empire a good score, so they’re going on the board at 45.

Check the site yourself- http://www.technine.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Burton 50
11. Technine 45

Fuck the Yankees.

Site Check: Airblaster

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Airblaster. Did you know that name was designed to describe the feeling of floating through powder, launching a method, and ripping a fart, all at once? Now you do. Sound like a good time.

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Airblaster is running a “commitment to retailers” program, following the exclusive-colorways-for-select-shops path. It’s a fine idea; wearing one of these jackets is an easy way to signal to those in the know that you keep it local, and the pieces they’ve chosen to release through this program are some of the more popular and versatile items in Airblaster’s lineup. But my favorite part is the “Stores with Doors” name, because it appears as an option on their shop locator. Now you and I understand that only shows you shops taking part in this program, but out of context it makes it sound like the other stores don’t have doors. Like you’ll need to climb in a window, or maybe they have a shop guy with a multi-tool guarding an opening in the wall when they’re not open.

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Airblaster’s one-piece commitment runs deep; everyone knows about Ninja Suits at this point but I want to talk about outerwear for a second. There isn’t a lot of call of onesies (outside of the Northwest), but they really are unbeatable for warmth, simplicity, and keeping snow out. So the fact that Airblaster has not one but two offerings, in men’s and women’s, is pretty rad. And this one, the $400 Sassy Beast (or Beast Suit for men) is really hard to figure out. Some brands are asking $600 for a comparable jacket, and this is effectively a jacket and pant and $200 in your pocket. I’d like to be stoked out on Airblaster doing this, but more than anything I’m just pissed off that the price-hiking technique seems to be the more popular route for most businesses to take.

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Huzzah! I’ll admit I don’t really dig the stand-alone hood trend that’s going on right now; not that I have anything against it I just don’t get the hype. But this one in particular seems designed specifically to make you look like a Renaissance Faire escapee.

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This right here is what really pushes the Airblaster site over the top for me. I kind of forgot that they made this mini-game, and when I found it while researching this article I wasted far too much time reminding myself how bad I am at video games. But putting an 80’s arcade classic up just because you can is going to do good things for Airblaster’s score. If anyone wants to go toe-to-toe, my personal high score so far is 16650. You’ll probably win.

Looking at the totals, this one is pretty obvious. Awesome product, shop support, fart jokes, this site has everything. I still don’t get the whole just-a-hood thing, but I hate vests too, so maybe I just have some unresolved issues with deconstructed clothing. Even if I were taking points off for that, Airblasteroids would do more than offset that hit. So Airblaster’s 93 moves it right to the top of the leader board.

Check the site for yourself- http://www.myairblaster.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Airblaster 93
2. Lobster Snowboards 87
3. Bataleon 86
4. Endeavor 74
5. Rome SDS 72
6. Arbor Collective 71
7. DC Snowboarding 68
8. Holden 62
9. Gnu Snowboards 57
10. Burton 50
11. Technine 45

Site Check: DC Snowboarding

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DC Snowboarding. Their website title says “Snowboarding: Fashion News & Videos,” which could be a rather accurate commentary on what people tend to pay attention to in snowboarding. And that kid up there, second from the right, is going to have some serious teenage angst when his parents show his friends a picture of him with that haircut.

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The team decided to pose like they were a high school yearbook club photoshopped together. Mat Schaer’s bro-point awkwardly mirrors Travis Rice’s bro-peace, and Ryan Tiene is not stoked about being touched by a guy named Mons. And check out the giant smile on Ikka Backstrom, the Finns really are such a light-hearted and warm people.

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This is the entirety of DC’s women’s board line. Now compare that to the men’s line. On one hand what the fuck DC, why aren’t you putting the same effort into displaying your women’s collection? But on the other hand … I kind of get it. For whatever reason women don’t spend in snowboarding the same way men do. I don’t know why that is, but if snowboarding really is in trouble maybe we should do something about the fact that fifty percent of the population isn’t getting as involved.

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Travis Rice doesn’t just get a pro model boot, if you go to DCShoes.com/TravisRiceBoot you’re taken to a special site for his special boots. There’s a zip gaiter covering the lower region of the laces … for some reason, and they’re really boasting about their new asymmetric outsole. Which is pretty strange considering that aren’t all outsoles asymmetric? I’m not sure who the intended market is for these boots, but since Travis’ name is on it I’m sure bros will be walking into shops, Red Bull in hand, asking for them all season long.

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Not sure what to make of this still from the Winter ’16 Lookbook. Are they trying to corner the now snow-free California market? Is this some kind of obtuse commentary about global warming? Is there any meaning to the juxtaposition of a nautical-themed snowboard in a shot entirely bereft of the ocean or snow? Am I overthinking it and it’s just a cool picture? Probably, yes.

DC has done something I didn’t expect. From a product standpoint I wasn’t too exhilarating, pretty much everything there was what you’d expect and there wasn’t any real news I could find other than the graphics. But some of those graphics were really good, and overall the site made me more excited about the coming season that any site I’ve reviewed previously. Usually lookbooks are tired marketing and pictures designed for help buyers decide what to get, rather than build customer stoke. But this one made me think about trips I’m going to make this year, where I’m going and who I’m going with. Which surprised me, DC Snowboarding isn’t it’s own thing it’s just a branch of the main DC Shoes tree. But the women’s boards looking like an afterthought rather than something they actually put work into knocks them down more than a few pegs, for a final total of 68

Check the site for yourself – http://www.dcshoes.com/snow/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Lobster Snowboards 87
2. Bataleon 86
3. Endeavor 74
4. Rome SDS 72
5. Arbor Collective 71
6. DC Snowboarding 68
7. Holden 62
8. Gnu Snowboards 57
9. Burton 50

 

Site Check: Rome SDS 15/16

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Rome Snowboard Design Syndicate. One of the last brands staying strong with the “badass snowboarder” image of the 2000s, and now they won’t even swear on their own website. It’s cool Rome, you can say fuck on the Internet. I do it all the time.

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It’s pretty well established that any time a brand includes a social media feed, there is comedy gold to be found, and this time is no exception. The first three feeds are pretty predictable, with teasers, selfies, and landscape shots dominating each category. But the #CarveUphill one gets a little off course. I’m a big-tent boarder myself; if you stand sideways and it makes you happy it’s cool. Surfers are kooks, skateboarders are just nerds that go outside, and snowboarders really are a bunch of privileged white kids; we’re all looking for the same feeling, and there’s even room for longboarders in my mind. But having your feed taken over by a some kids on electric longboards? I’m really rethinking the “badass snowboarder” thing I said earlier.

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But beyond that, there isn’t really much to laugh about. The whole “syndicate” thing in Rome’s name isn’t just California-brand lifestyle marketing. You really can hit them up with feedback on their gear, and in theory they’ll either work with you to get you what you want or come up with something new if enough people ask for it. It’s not exactly a Rome exclusive, that’s pretty much how any brand in any industry works, but the fact that they have the infrastructure built into the site and are directly asking for feedback is pretty impressive from a company as big (by snowboarding standards) as Rome.

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But they couldn’t get the team sorted before the site went live. That either shows how over the top their commitment to the Syndicate is, or that there are major changes coming on the Rome team. I love starting rumors based on nothing at all, so is it possible that Rome is preparing to pick up of some of the talent cast aside by the other Vermont-based snowboard company?  We can only speculate blindly at this point, so the answer is probably yes.

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This bit here is something we really should be talking about. Rome’s % for Snowboarding program is progressive as hell. When you buy direct through Rome, they will give part of the profits to a participating snowboard shop. For no reason other than the fact that Rome wants to support local snowboard shops. While everyone else is making special “shop local” products that still wind up online as soon as they hit shops, Rome is breaking out it’s checkbook and standing for something. And they’ll write a bigger check when the shop goes out of it’s way to support the local scene by hosting contests or making a shop edit. This is some seriously interesting stuff, and if more brands pick up on this it could significantly change the playing field for the old brick-and-mortar vs. online retail debate.

The ideas that Rome is putting out are amazing. A responsibility to the industry and accountability to your customers is strangely absent from most snowboard brands, and here Rome is putting it front and center on their website. Even before they show you their team they are showing you that they are doing what they can to make snowboarding better for everyone. But I’m not rating brands I’m rating websites so even if I love what they’re saying the black-and-white style with the warped font isn’t particularly moving. I love what they’re saying but I don’t feel anything about how they’re saying it, so it will have to be 72 points.

Check the site for yourself: http://www.romesnowboards.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Lobster Snowboards 87
2. Bataleon 86
3. Endeavor 74
4. Rome SDS 72
5. Arbor Collective 71
6. Holden 62
7. Gnu Snowboards 57

 

Site Check: Lobster Snowboards 15/16

face suckLobster Snowboards.

It’s an interesting indication of how the Helgasons have matured when a board with a graphic depiction of a naked stripper having her face ripped off by a canister vacuum is a sign their art is moving in a less disturbing direction.

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They’re still on the Bataleon 3BT program, because if it isn’t broken don’t fix it, and the lineup looks like they’re doubling down on what they’re good at- jib/park baords. I don’t remember them doing a youth model before, but the idea of typical-suburban-parent coming to this site because little Suzie asked for a Youthboard for Christmas is pretty amusing.

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Eiki really got something right here. More than once I’ve found snowboard companies not telling people that something glows in the dark. Which is insane, in most cases something that glows in the dark is inherently better than something that doesn’t. Why wouldn’t you tell people up front?

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Halldor’s pro model comes in a totally cutting edge orange and camo colorway, and with an asymmetrical version of the trusty 3BT profile. So that’s all abaord on two trendy trends, but what I want to look at is that the both pro-model Switchback Bindings are being sold straight through Lobster with no mention of what brand they are, while Switchback’s site is still flogging last year’s wares. Are the Helgasons just focusing on one thing at a time, or has the binding business been back burnered?

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I don’t know why, but I’m imagining both of them saying this simultaneously. Like some kind of possessed viking press conference.

So we’ve got strippers, cartoon violence, and a couple of Euros. And they’re on 3BT so the similarities to Bataleon are really quite striking. But like I said anything that glows in the dark is better than anything that doesn’t, so they’ll take a narrow lead in the standings with 87 points.

Check the site for yourself here- http://www.lobstersnowboards.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Lobster Snowboards 87
2. Bataleon  86
3. Endeavor 74
4. Arbor Collective 71
5. Holden 62

 

Site Check: Arbor Snowboards 15/16

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Arbor Snowboards. Excuse me, Arbor Collective.  They were on the whole eco-conscious thing before almost anyone else, and have somehow avoided making their entire brand one endless boner joke despite their undying fondness for wood.

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Looking at the boards, I can see why they are so fond of that wood. I’ve ridden a few Arbor boards and they ride fine, but I’d be lying if I said the look wasn’t a big part of why I bought them. They’re just so damn pretty, it almost feels wrong to sticker them up.

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And the tech … is okay. In the right conditions they’re as good if not better than a lot of the competition, and in the wrong conditions it rides exactly like a snowboard. And what more could you expect? As involved as “The System” sounds, it’s just over-branding of a parabolic rocker benditure paired with extra-grip edge magic. Not that I’m saying Arbor is the worst for over-branding things that don’t need to be branded.

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But this is the real news. In case you missed it last season, Arbor signed Frank April, Mark Carter, and Bryan Iguchi in January, and Marie-France Roy in April. Which has me thinking- how pissed is Scotty Vine? I mean right there all the male riders have a beard and his is clearly the worst. Losing to Frank April on that count isn’t a great look. I’ve also got this completely unsubstantiated theory that Scotty made Erik Leon cut his hair so he could win at least some kind of appearance-based superlative.

So- Arbor makes some of the prettiest boards in all the land, though they try and impress you by slapping a fancy name on a really rather simple technology package. But that team is too stacked for me to not be at least a little excited to see what they do this year, keeping them out of last place with a modest, but respectable 71.

Check it: http://arborcollective.com/snowboards/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Bataleon  86
2. Endeavor 74
3. Arbor Collective 71
4. Holden 62

 

Site Check: Endeavor Snowboards 15/16

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Endeavor. Personally they showed up on my radar because Scott Serfas kept posting about them last year. Which is kind of funny because the first thing on their site isn’t a picture but instead it’s a link to their “about us” page. Which isn’t a bad idea, they’re a small brand and telling people who they are is probably legitimately needed.  What’s interesting though is the first sentence states “We ride 50+ days a year…” It’s honestly refreshing to see a snowboard company not lie about how much they get to snowboard. It’s fine and good if pro’s can get 100 days a season, but real people with real jobs just don’t have that kind of time. Of course riding is important, but the real work of designing and building boards happens at a desk, not on a lift. So right off the bat- high marks for honesty and showing that they take this board building shit seriously.

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They got this right too. Instead of being intentionally vague and cryptic, their board picker just asks you to make two choices. Why style of riding you’re looking to do, and how good you want your board to be. Unfortunately the choices they give you are nonsense- “All Terrain”, “All Terrain Park” and “All Terrain Freestyle”. All Terrain and it’s buzzword cousin All Mountain are just terms marketing departments love that don’t really mean anything. Any board can ride anything, just look at how often one of the CAPiTA x Spring Break “powder” boards show up in a Yawgoons edit. And the construction choices are “E-Tech”, “E-Tech 2”, and “E-Tech 4”. That’s some U2-style math right there.

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But the result is hard to fault. You can quickly narrow in on what boards will suit your needs, and then it’s just a question of how good a board you want/how much you’re willing to spend. It’s so straightforward, why isn’t this the standard?

So all and all Endeavor is doing everything right, right? WRONG.

thechannel

Apparently Endeavor has got in bed with the big B to put all their boards on The Channel, Burton’s ex-Forum technology that let’s you … okay I’ll be honest I don’t know what The Channel actually does. Burton claims it makes it easier to adjust your bindings, but it’s not like that is hard with modern inserts, and it’s not like you couldn’t achieve the same stance options with a standard disc mount. But my problem isn’t so much that The Channel is bad so much as that it’s a proprietary system. Yes it will technically work with most major bindings, but you don’t really want to ride it with anything other than Burton EST bindings. And when you bottleneck something like that, you lose the options for innovation and improvement that an open system allows.

backhill

Hold up. I know retro snurfer boards are all the rage right now, but that isn’t a tribute or a reimagining of a past that never was. That’s a straight up Burton Backhill.

So they’re honest about how much work it is to actually make snowboards worth riding and they make it easy to pick which board works for you, but they are letting The Channel out of Burton’s cage and setting it loose on the industry while cloning one of the most iconic boards of all time. Good job Endeavor, but not good enough, even without the butts Bataleon would have held onto the lead.

http://www.endeavorsnowboards.com/

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Bataleon  86
2. Endeavor 74
3. Holden 62

 

Edit: Improved picture and link provided by Endeavor.

Site Check: Bataleon Snowboards 15/16

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Bataleon. Everyone’s third or fourth favorite thing about Amsterdam. They make interesting snowboards with interesting camber profiles, but let’s see if they can make an interesting website. Right off the bat it’s interesting that the default nation it assumes I’m in is Northern Ireland, but that isn’t enough to move it to the top of our rankings on it’s own.

cameltoe

Okay, the snowsurfboard thing is cool. I mean it’s been done a few times by now, but naming it the Camel Toe is pretty funny, and actually kind of makes sense if you think about the shape of the tail.

tbt

Now this is interesting. Bataleon’s whole thing is built around their Triple Base Technology, which basically gives you rocker and camber in one board, without the unfortunate compromise of traditional hybrids. But that’s not the interesting part. The interesting part is where they used to call it “TBT” for short. But with the rise of social media, they can’t really set up camp on the #TBT hashtag without being lost in a sea of sorority girls posting pictures showing how “awkward” they were when they were eight. So 3BT it is.

hashtag

Speaking of hashtags, it looks like they put a little Instagram feed in there that shows recent pictures that have used #bataleon. So you’ve got a picture of a board, and some people standing on a mountain, and …

zoom

Jackpot. Apparently no one is moderating these submissions, because some porn bots are using the hashtag and getting some airtime. Or maybe they are, the company is Dutch after all. Either way, the idea of a porn bot using #Bataleon to steal the identities of snowboarders looking to “Meet Local Cheating Wives” is hilarious. Like any of us have identities worth stealing. This is going to do good things for their score.

To review, Bataleon probably knows which cafe has the best supply, gives their boards names loaded with innuendo, and lost a social media battle and had to change the name of it’s key technology. Oh and they’re either dealing with porn bot squatters, or just like to have some porn bots hanging around. Either way that’s going to get them a tidy 86 points that’s going to be tough to beat.

http://www.bataleon.com/

 

The standings so far-

Rank Brand Score
1. Bataleon  86
2. Holden 62