Posts

The Jerm Edit v2.0

Some sites get comments saying “first!” but we get comments saying “Where’s your edit, Jerm?” Just in case you missed the first one, here ya go!

The Jerm Edit

Internet celebrity is a funny thing. You can earn it for being good at something, but more often, it comes with less desirable attributes. In Jerm’s case, “celebrity” is debatable, but if you frequent any website that posts videos of snowboarding, you probably know the name. Easily the most frequent commenter on this site, it was time to see if it was just all talk. So we told Jerm, stop filming first person cooking with that GoPro and put it in the hands of the kids you are allegedly teaching — let’s see this shit! But posting the Jerm edit without a little commentary wouldn’t be right, so we recruited a few of those subjected to him the past to offer their thoughts on the Jerm Edit.

Jerm,

I’m just gonna get straight to the point here. This little movie you seem to have made is most likely blowing some peoples’ minds right about now. Not only can you write a good summary on some lame edit or post witty comments, you can also do some pretty sweet maneuvers on that snowboard of yours, but you definitely could have caught the tranny just a tad bit more on that downflatdown. You’re good at jumping over rails and to the ends of them, so I’m thinking you were a Track and Field kid during high school. I’m probably right. I’ve always gotten the “athlete” impression from you. Even though there’s solid maneuvers, this edit is pretty bland, and the song doesn’t really help, but the SAGA outerwear sure does! I give this a C+. There is much more room for improvement, and Jerm, you should have capitalized on it. That’s all for now.

Love,

Andrew Nagel.

First off Jerm, you’re not at Bear Mountain in a Transworld Sunday in the Park video, stop trying to do little wallride tappy things at the end of every rail. And I bet you rewind your stiffy at 0:36 over and over so you can get a stiffy.

that is all. — Seamus Foster.

“Ah yes, the infamous ‘Jerm’. Most of the time this cyber-terrorist can be found ruthlessly scouring the online snowboarding community attempting to single-handedly shatter the hopes and dreams young snowboarders. After years of furiously working his frustrated fingers across the keyboard of hatred, Jerm finally caught a break along with a reason to take his hands out of his pants and go snowboarding. What was his motivation one might ask? Free outerwear. Free Saga outerwear. About 4 or 5 retaliation comments deep on his “Rejected Edits” write-up, Jerm replied, “Smerc youd turn down free outerwear? or are you still on that “skiing is gay” thing? its all the same and all dumb.” Well, that’s funny. I know plenty of snowboarders, including myself, who would rather ride naked then look like a carbon copy of every freeskier and their sister at Park City. Now I could sit and hate all day long, be a hypocrite, and not give your snowboarding any justice, but that wouldn’t be fair.

First off, excellent song choice. It’s very fast paced and inspiring, yet, not too distracting from the riding. I can appreciate your creativity and the desire to snowboard in an uncommon fashion, hitting features in unexpected ways. What’s the term? Skate-influenced? You had some really nice presses in there for sure. I’ve yet to see someone press an Amplid like that. Nice work. Towards the end you did a really smooth frontside invert… just a few more inches and you would have made it to the coping, Tony. And I’m glad you gave some time for the music to play out after that last bangin’ line… really had to let that one process. On the bright side, it looked like you and all your friends were having a great time riding together and that’s all that matters.” -Andrew Aldridge

Rejected Edits with Guest Editor Jerm

This week, birds randomly fell from the sky and thousands of fish died for no apparent reason. These are things we should take seriously. However, videos of snowboarding are not serious and neither is this section. For that reason, we gave the floor to Jeremiah Paquette aka Jerm. His opinions are not representative of Yobeat as a whole, however, we do find them amusing, which is really all we can hope for with the apocalypse so near. If you are offended, we recommend not sending us videos anymore.

Gunstock’ Livin Part 4

You guys got some love for past edits, then you just got lazy with this one. Homeboy has some aggressive slides and presses. Is maximum sound made while sliding the new high press? Not a bad edit, but why should it be featured on an extremely popular snowboard site?

Bear Creek Opening Weekend from Phoster Films

You started off trying to make us think something sick was going to happen with all the slow mo and slowly building song. When it comes time for the action we get Johnny rad and his buddy with half assed/bad styled/crooked tricks. Come on guys, get with it. You might be the best riders at your hill that no ones ever heard of before but I’m guessing since you have access to the internet you have seen other snowboarding and should know what’s happening. It’s certainly not high speed, wild, 2-inch-high flat box tricks and slow mo’d no grab-vertical toe kick (what was that by the way?) fs 360s. But it’s cool, you have fresh gear and an expensive camera…

Holiday Edit

I knew it was going to be a rough edit to watch after the slow mo’d zeach opener. Did you guys find some sort of new effect while editing that constantly shakes the camera? You should share this knowledge with Hollywood, there’s sure to be a large batch of apocalypse movies coming out soon that are going to need such an effect. Now about that halfpipe run, get rid of the snow and the snowboard, add some concrete and a skateboard and you might be able to get away with ankle high airs. This is a prime example of “why do you want other people to see this?” You should know there is a difference between filming the day to show your family and making an edit to submit to a website.

North Carolina Slack Country

Is this video real? This looks like something someone’s mom filmed and meant to send to the relatives with a card saying “you’ll never believe what the boys were doing yesterday when it snowed!” I almost would have rather watched another tube edit from Yawgoo valley than this… almost. How many times did you think we wanted to watch you fall on your face in that ditch? That was barely Americas Funniest Videos quality, Bob Saget would have definitely rejected this.
P.s. Do you really listen to music like that?

Slaying Stevens from Matt Wainhouse

Alright guys you’ve made your point, Stevens Pass is sick, assholes. No one thinks you’re cool after watching an edit like that, we’re just all pissed that you’re rubbing something that good in our faces. So take you self filmed schussing edit and beat it.

Now we hand it back to you, polls for each video are hard, but this one is of the utmost importance:

[poll id=”261″]