Movie Reviews

8/23/99

The Blair Witch Project
I'm not even going to bother reviewing this movie, because when I walked into the theatre, they actually gave me an award for being the last person to go see it. Okay, so I probably wasn't the last person to see it, and beside Westway 1-2-3-4 in scenic W. Rutland, VT probably doesn't have the annual income to afford a prize, but it took me awhile. It has come to my attention that despite all the hype, the majority of the people don't even like the movie, either because they're not creative, or they just don't get it. The Blair Witch Project was a damn fine movie, and if you have to have it explained to you to like it, then here goes.
FAQ about The Blair Witch Project
Why was he standing in the corner?
This is a skill that most people no longer possess. THe ability to carry information from the beginning of the movie to the end. Remember the interviews in the beginning? "He made one of them stand in the corner while he killed the other, because he couldn't stand the eyes on him." Aahhh!
Why do people think this movie is so scary?
True, there were no graphic death scenes or music that lets you know when to be scared, but this movie was so frightening because it was so real. Have you ever been camping? Been in your tent late at night, and heard some strange noise? I thought so, now do you get it?
Why was the filming so shaky?
Have you ever tried to run with a camera? My film student compadre argued that his home videos were more stable than that, but he's also a film student.
In conclusion, I fail to understand how a society that watches Real World marathons every weekend, can not appreciate a film which was bascially the Real World, with a plot.

Mystery Men
Here's a movie that looked almost dumb enough to be funny. Sort of that Farrelly Brothers humor, but without the Farrelly Brothers. It also had Ben Stiller going for it, and Janeane Garafallo, even though I am constantly reminded that "no one likes her." (I do.) Mystery Men turned out to be actually funny, and not just in that this is so dumb I can't beleive I'm laughing at it sort of way. Since on top of the aformentioned actors, it featured William H. Macy, Pee Wee Herman, Greg Kinnear, and Kel of Keenan and Kel, it blended all of their comedic genius into one happy package. Okay, so the super hero premise seems overdone, but what this movie successfully acomplished, was to mock every super hero cliche in passing, so the less astute viewer might not even notice. "Captain Amazind can't be Lance, Lance wears glasses. If he takes them off, how can he see?"

Bowfinger
Every stereotype you've ever heard about LA is true. Steve Martin, being a long time Hollywood type obviously knows this, and chose to portray all of these things on film. Bobby Bowfinger wants Kit in his movie, an extremely poor alien film, but Kit, one of the biggest actions stars in Hollywood, isn't interested. To solve his dillema, Bobby decides to put Kit in his movie, without him knowing. Movies mocking movies have always been a favorite of mine, films like The Player, and even more recently South Park being good examples. This movie also successfully mocks itself and society, making it okay with my. The best part though, Robert Downey Jr.'s role induced all the standard, "Isn'e he in jail?" comments, making it a truly complete experience.