You know when you say something, and it strikes you as incredibly funny, so you just have to tell the next person you see about it? Then you finish telling the story and realize, it really wasn't that funny, meanwhile the person you just told it to is giving you some sort of blank stare. Then you feel stupid. This is one of those stories.
Everyday, things happen that strike me as absolutley hilarious. Yesterday, at my fine job jockeying a register that I have to have because having a cool industry job doesn't pay very well, two bus loads of French Canadians decided to patronize the fine establishment of my employment. I hate Frenchies for the same reason everyone else does, they hate me. Yesterday, though, I got to deal with about 60 of them, one after another, and they all wanted to pay in Canadian money. This would have been just fine, if the register I was running was made after 1970, and actually converted currency for me, but no, I got to convert it in my head instead.
So I was more bitter than usually, because I had to take their pink money and figure out its worth (or lack thereof) in US dollars. (Insert Canadian exchange rate joke here) The store I work at hasn't changed our exchange rate since August when it was 65%, so I would have to charge them $24 Canadian for a $13 purchase. Beleive it or not, I felt kind of bad about doing this, after all, as much as I hated these people, I always feel guilty ripping anyone off, especially when the one who benefits is "The Man". Then I realized that it was their own damn fault for not converting their money at a bank.
On top of all this, evey single one of them was buying beer. I gave up checking ID after two customers, since not only were their ID's Canadian with the dates all switched around, but I think they were all about 12, and the last thing I needed was a mob of angry Canadians chasing me around because I wouldn't sell them their beer for the bus ride home. Anyway, American laws don't apply to Candians anyway, right? Good luck getting over the border, suckers.
Anyway, there is a part of this story where I made myself laugh. This went on for a while, until I ran out of ones, credit card slips, and the other girl stole my sheet with currency conversions on them. I was just about to yell at the top of my lungs, "Fuckin' Canadians, Degrassi Forever!" when my conversion sheet was returned, and I was forced to resume making change for loonies and toonies. One guy came through, and I had to give him 3 dollars in change, (remember, I have no ones). I started to count out the money in quarters, while the kid watched me looking kind of annoyed. I handed him all this change, and said "I'm sorry I have to give you all this change, but you're Canadian, you're used to it, eh*." Since they were all pretending not to speak English (trust me, all French Canadians speak English), he said something in French, and did that little demonic "I'm a foreigner and better than you" laugh before leaving.
So that's my story. It really isn't very funny in retrospect, but that was the point. I decided to use this one over all the other situations when I find myself incredibly amusing for one reason, I love Canadian jokes. However, you're probably wondering what this tale has to do with "The Vintage so it Costs More Issue", and I'll tell you. Absolutley nothing, and as it turns out, the rest of the issue has nothing to do with the title either. I just thought it sounded cool. Enjoy.
*No Frenchies say eh, I just threw that it for dramatic effect.
Jerry Tucker is the coolest person alive. Shown here going bigger than most people, (okay, me) go on a snowboard on his skateboard, in the sketchiest ramp I've ever skated. Plus, he rides for Burton, and is from Vermont. Bonus cool points. Photo: The Z Man
you wrote a letter, come see your name in lights.
vilification: The Wu Tang of snowboarding.
reader's poll: We want to know just how cool you are, so we can have bragging rights.
rekkid reviews: Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and Beck
vintage video reviews:A look back at the videos that started it all.
soul coughing:A band comes to Vermont, read all about it.
from trumball to skid row: In a new feature inspired by Charles Dickens and The Gonz, you can read the first part of an 80's cliffhanger and tune in for the rest in upcoming issues. Hold on to your hats!
opening day: Why east coasters are more hardcore than west coasters.
interview: Learn more about one of Vermont's finest, Rahm Klampert.
if i was a girl: A rant about about girl power and such.
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