Sideways—It turns out this movie is not about Snowboarding after all

1. It blows. Absolutely blows.

2. Not about extreme sports at all. Just extremely cynical and boring.

3. What you have always supposed is correct: Dudes from California are douche-bags.

4. Turns out you don't have to be a famous snowboarder to have a drinking problem.

5. The score blows. And when was the last time you noticed the instrumental soundtrack to a movie? Yes, it was that bad.

6. Only real nudity: full frontal penis. Angry fat guy.

7. You'll never be able to drink wine again without thinking of depressed and boring white people. Oh wait, no one else drinks wine.

Never mind.

8. Best moment of the movie: The first time you realize "Hey, isn't that dude the mechanic from the T.V. show Wings?"

9. Someday I will be fat and bald and boring too. Awesome.

10. At the end of the movie an 8th grade student reads aloud from the novel "A Separate Peace," and you wish desperately someone would push you out of a tree and kill you.