Who does Jesus like more?
A lot of girls and guys in the extreme sport industry
are way into Jesus. Letís say ďextremelyĒ in to Jesus. And thatís cool.
Because he helps them win contests. Jesus gives them sponsorship stickers
which they put on their boards and then when they win a contest or arenít
stricken down they thank him. They say: ďIíd like to thank my family, my
sponsors, and Jesus.Ē Which they should.
But itís obvious to me that Jesus doesnít love
everybody the same. He canít. If he did, contests would be boring. If
Jesus loved everybody equally he wouldnít let one sheep in the flock
become more talented at snowboarding than another. If he loved all
children alike there would be a forty-way tie for 1st place at
So that begs the question: who does Jesus love more?
Mega-ripper Shaun White? Ultra talented Travis Rice? That pagan Terje
This picture was taken before Luke Wynen found Jesus hence it's
Maybe we should approach the question in terms of
head-to-head competition. For instance, in professional snowboarding Luke
Wynen and Tommy Czeschin love Jesus. But, how come Tommy wins more
contests than Luke? Where was Jesus when the chips were down for Luke
Wynen? Is Luke maybe a little more talk and little less action when it
comes to loving Christ? Does Jesus like Tommy more because he hates gay
Thatís a deep philosophical question that maybe weíll
never understand. The Lord works in mysterious ways and, like Terje, he
keeps a low media profile. Heís happiest riding by himself in the
backcountry or ice fishing in Finland. I think he secretly hates being
dragged into every televised sports production. I mean itís 2005 and the
dude still doesnít have a boot sponsor. He doesnít care. He just sports
sandals. Jesus doesnít give a fuck. He doesnít have to film and he
doesnít even have to compete. He knows heís the best. He owns a company
wag bigger than Grenade Gloves and heís got the pope to run it for him.
Jesus is seriously hooked up.
But I donít mean to get sacrilegious here. I have to
give Jesus props for mad skills on a board. He can do back-to-back 1080s
without thinking about them, he rules on rails, and heís got more first
ascents than anybody. You think
Tommy Czeshin has always had Jesus in his heart allowing him to soar
above other competitors.
Travis Rice is pretty good? Well, Jesus was doing
1080s over 120 ft. gaps way back in the early 90s when Travis was still an
acne riddled altar boy giving head to the local Priest. In fact, I met a
Jesuit who swears he read in the Black Sea Scrolls where Jesus did a 30
ft. 1440 grabbed the whole around before the fall of the Roman Empire.
The point is the J-dog secretly enjoys being the best boarder in the world
and heís not about to bless anybody to be better than him.
So letís not waste our breath dropping shout outs to
Jesus Christ. Homeboy ainít listening. Instead letís focus on emulating
his tweaked out Nazarene style, and his purist approach to the sport. The
next time you ask yourself What Would Jesus Do?Ē really think about the
answer. It could be simpler than you think. I think Jesus would do a lot
of butter tricks and sweet backside methods. Thatís what Jesus would do.