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The Great Rutland Bar Tour: Leg Two
Four years ago, a strapping college lad named Monty set
out with an assignment and a dream: Capture the essence of the Rutland bar
scene for the legendary Yo Beat Magazine. It was decided to accomplish
this, several trips, all of which documented, would commence it Rutland
and the surrounding areas. Well, Monty went to law school, and only the
first of such tours ever found its way to the eyes of the public.
Currently, he was too busy studying for the Bar Exam to even attend the
second leg of the bar tour. Luckily, for the readers of Yo Beat, Rachel
and I finally turned 21, and were able to take time out of our busy
drinking schedules to do our own review.
First stop was Two Shea’s. According to Monty, this
was the place to go to Friday nights for two-dollar margaritas.
Unfortunately we found that inflation had turned 2 bills into 2.5 and
margaritas into Corona’s. I had volunteered to buy Tim Karpinski a
drink, because I felt we needed a local scenester on the tour, and he was
hesitant to leave his house with a case of Budweiser in the fridge. While
I purchased some fine alcohol at the bar, Rachel drifted out to the
balcony, where the entire Rutland skateboard scene was plotting ways to
get kicked out (supposedly, this is a weekly tradition.)
At this point I should mention that no Rutland bar tour
would be complete without a few underage kids in-tow. This night we had
about 5 and they all shoved cans of beer into Rachel’s bag. You can
imagine it didn’t take much drunken logic to pull out one such beverage
to consume. Pretty soon the bar tender came out to regulate and kick out
all the cheapskates/18-year-olds drinking cans of Bud, and Rachel had to
go.
We rounded up the troops and headed over to Cass’s.
The underage kids like this place cause they never throw anyone out, and
they do have Bud and Coors pounders for $1 EVERY NIGHT. After awhile, I
realized our friend Jenny B (one of the few 21-year-olds) had disappeared.
Rumor has it; she’d been thrown out after rushing into the bathroom to
empty her guts, making her the first person ever to be thrown out of this
particular bar.
Our next stop was The Office. It was around 1 a.m. when
we walked into the nearly empty bar. The bartender looked us over and
said, "We’re closed and you all look like you’re about 16
anyway." The lone drunk at the bar got a big chuckle, and we decided
to head back to Two Shea’s to try our luck again.
On the way to Two Shea’s, Rachel and I were distracted
by Ollie’s. This place was hopping, so we decided to go in. Our underage
friends were not only deterred by the bouncer at the door (the only bar in
Rutland checking IDs at the door) and also the place’s reputation.
"Say hi to my mom for me," Rutland stud Jake Lamagno shouted us
as they ran scared. Okay, so Rachel and I were the youngest people there
by 20 years. But there was live music, cheap Labatts and the best platinum
blond mullet, ever. (Please note: I brought my camera, but the batteries
were dead. If you’d like to see this phenomenon, however, its proprietor
is definitely there every night.) After a beer and some icky looks from
various old men, it was back to Two Shea’s.
Once we were there, I tried to buy Rachel and I a beer,
but she was definitely not welcome there yet. So we may be the only two
of-age, paying customers to be kicked out of any bar, but that’s Rutland
for ya. Stay tuned for next time when we hit the other side of the tracks.
-Brooke Geery |
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