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An-Almost-Review: The Summit Plus Vaporizer by Vapium

This guy broke all of my rules. It was probably my 99th Tinder date, and by this point, I’d come up with a few deal breakers: no car, no fixed address (or a fixed address belonging to a parent), gauged ears, etc. This guy literally hit all three big no’s right on the head. Honestly I don’t even know why I went out with him the the first place.

But, the Tinder gods know better and we really hit it off. We had brunch at Acropolis and he managed to pay even though I’d soon find out he was horribly financially irresponsible. After a fun first date we ended up hanging out for a solid three weeks until he got a job at night and our schedules just didn’t work anymore. Such is life.

Of course, one of the things we had in common is our love for weed, somehow over a deep-marijuana fueled conversation I told him I’d received this Summit + Vaporizer to review. We busted it out, packed the chamber with flower and fired it up. It was quick and easy, and the battery means there’s no need to fuck with butane. A real plus. I explained how it arrived at my door step and “Gauges,” as I would come to call him, was like, “You know, I love to write!”

Since I love to shirk responsibility a lightbulb went off and I was like, ok, why don’t you take it and use it then write a review based on more than a few puffs. I mean the most important thing I look for when buying something is if it lasts more than a couple uses, right? While it seemed sleek and relatively easy to use, who knows.

Well, as stated before, Gauge’s and I’s relationship wouldn’t last, and unfortunately, my sick new vape was a casualty of the end of our affair. We did text/snapchat occasionally, each time ending with me saying, “Lemme get that vape back,” but at this point, I’ve sadly given up hope. Which is really too bad because I think it would have been great for snowboarding with- joints are just not efficient for the soggy Northwest!

THE OFFICIAL WORD: SUMMIT+® IS THE FIRST SPLASHPROOF (IP54) RATED VAPORIZER. BUILT TO HANDLE THE BACKCOUNTRY, THE BACK NINE AND THE COUCH. INNOVATIVE TECHNOLOGY, MEDICAL / SPACE GRADE MATERIALS, INTUITIVE FUNCTIONALITY CRAFTED SPECIFICALLY FOR ON-THE-GO USE, IT REDEFINES INDUSTRY STANDARDS OF BOTH UTILITY AND STYLE THAT PERFORMS WHEREVER THE TRAIL MAY LEAD, AND BEYOND.

MSRP: $149
BUY ONE

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Comments (9)

  1. How the fuck is this a review then?

     
  2. Hope the real gauges shows up in the comments with a review of his own.

     
  3. This is a really shitty ad fuck this. At least give a review, will this thing cure my aids or not????

     
    • No aids, but we’re pretty sure it cures cancer. Honestly this is just a ploy to get a replacement at which time we will provide you with the full review you seek.

       
  4. Just when you think yobeat couldnt stoop any lower, they waste our time with this total bullshit. Just stop, if you dont have anything good to say, just shut the fuck up. Its getting pathetic.

     
    • Just when you thought you couldn’t be any more shitty on the internet, you leave a useless comment like this one. One more and you get deleted. #theresanewsheriffintown

       
  5. Not the best portable but it’s tough as shit. Also, your Tinder standards are pretty high… I mean, who needs a car or home? Haha. I’m just kidding btw 😛 But seriously, why no gauges? 🙁

     

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