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Girls’ Guide to Riding on the Rag

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Every since the Too Hard teaser included a girl tossing a bloody tampon, it seems even male snowboarders are aware that girls bleed once a month. It’s ok, it’s just nature and it’s what makes childbirth and the continuation of life possible. But that doesn’t mean it’s not icky for dudes to think about, a pain in the ass for girls to deal with, and most importantly, a bummer when you’re trying to get some snowboard action. Between dealing with cramps, being an even bigger bitch than normal, and trying to protect your long underwear from gross stains, it’s probably the most serious problem facing women’s snowboarding today. So as a fellow female and long time menstruator, I’ve decided to put together a handy guide for snowboarding with your monthly visitor.

 

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Medical.

Pat Bridges is convinced that you are more likely to tear your ACL while menstruating. He’s told me and every other female snowboarder about it on multiple occasions, which makes it true, right? Actually, the truth according to science is changes in your estrogen levels make you more prone to knee injuries around the middle of your cycle, which means, when you’re bleeding, you’re in the clear! So go out there and twist your knees as violently as you want as long as there is blood coming out of your vagina.

 

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Equipment.

Choosing the right feminine hygiene products can make all the difference. First off, maxi pads are out. What are you, 12? As for tampons, there are two schools of thought on this one — with applicator or without. The applicator free tampons are smaller and easier to store, but hell, you’ve got a waterproof jacket with pockets, so does it really matter. Best bet, go with something wrapped in plastic and with a plastic applicator, just in case your taped-seams fail. No one wants a fully soaked tampon expanding in their pocket while they ride.

 

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Advantages.

So there are lots of things that suck about having your period, but like most things in life, there is a bright side. In the male-dominated world of snowboarding, this it is a gross and mysterious process that most dudes don’t want to talk about. So, when there’s an annoying dude hitting on you in the ski town bar? Start talking about it. Trust me, they’ll leave and you can go back to drinking away the pain of cramps.

So there you have it. No more excuses, and no more complaining. Boarding on the rag is still a day boarding, and there’s really nothing wrong with that.

If you know, you know.
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Comments (31)

  1. Why did reading this piece give me an erection?

     
  2. Women read Yo-Beat?

     
  3. U Remind Me Of My Bimmer.

     
  4. god dammit

     
  5. For some reason now I am bleeding out of my hindquarters. Halp me Brooke or JP

     
  6. This is almost as funny as Women’s Superpark.

     
  7. the swirls on the tampon strings remind me of a candy grind logo

     
  8. I have the weirdest boner right now.

     
  9. Did you know that women are more likely to zeach on their periods? Also the rest of month.

     
  10. The other day, my 4 year old daughter came running into the living room screaming hysterically, “MOMMYS BUTT IS BLEEDING, YOU HAVE TO HELP HER!”
    Funniest shit ever.

     
  11. periods not also make you more prone to tearing your ACL, but also giving handjobs.

     
  12. wow yobeat is really struggling for material….

     
  13. I don’t get it, why aren’t they in the kitchen

     
  14. i hear girls with their period attract bears. they can smell the menstruation

     
  15. Have you ever wondered why my legs tune outwards, got the fattest candy grind cotton up there

     

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